thanksgiving and all the festivities

Well, I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving!  We ended up with 17 for dinner on turkey day.  My husband and I brined two 13 1/2 lb turkeys, mashed 10 lbs of potatoes, made two 13X9 casseroles of sausage brioche stuffing, made 4 cups of gravy, a veggie tray, hot pepper jelly appetizer and 3 different kinds of cookies (iced sugar, chocolate chip and mint/dark chocolate chip).  The boys weren't very much help on turkey day, but they did manage to keep the house tidy until the guests arrived.

While we were putting on the finishing touches, the boys along with my cousin, her boyfriend, my niece and nephews played an impromptu game of soccer.  It was a little muddy outside, but none of the kids (young and old) seemed to mind.  It was so nice to hear the sounds of them playing outside.  I was surprised at how well SJ played with the other kids.  No crying over not winning and no yelling.  All I heard was his laughter.  We called them in to eat and we all found a spot somewhere in our house to eat all the yummy food.  (Other foods were provided by my mom, my sisters and my sister-in-law.) 

After dinner, SJ, my parents, my cousin and my young niece and nephews sat down to play Tripoly.  SJ had never played before, but he seemed to quite enjoy it.  They played that game for about an hour.  The kids then moved on to video games, which left it quiet on the first floor for adult conversation. 

On Friday, we met another cousin of mine for bowling at Funfest.  Her son is only three and had never been bowling.  At first, I decided that we were all going to bowl.  That was my husband, Bob, SJ, my cousin, her son and I.  SJ was getting very agitated, since he had to wait so long between turns.  An additional irritant for him was the fact that he wasn't getting any strikes or spares.  Fortunately, he finally got a spare in the 7th frame.  When it was time to play the next game, we opted to just have the kids bowl.  This made SJ much happier (Bob and Felix too!)  After our two games were finished, we went over to the arcade and each boy had 10 tokens.  They all enjoyed the arcade! 

We went over to McDonalds for lunch.  Boy, can that Felix eat!  He almost ate more than my boys and he is at least 6 years younger.  The boys enjoyed eating lunch with Felix.  It was nice to get a chance to spend some time with my cousin too!  After McDonalds, we went home for a while.  We were expected for dinner at my mom's later that evening.  When we got to my mom's house, my aunt from Va. was there with most of her family, my cousin and her son (Isaac), my cousin and her boyfriend (from Ca.), my sister's family and my mom.  We spent some time hanging out before dinner and then headed to my other aunt's house for the actual dinner.  We all went over there.  My other cousin and her husband were there too.  The kids ate their dinner in the living room while the adults ate in the dining room.  We all had a great time taking pictures and talking. 

My sister's boys wanted to spend the night at our house, so my cousin and her boyfriend drove them back to our house.  All four boys were able to play for about an hour and then it was time for bed.  They all slept in Bob's room, but SJ opted to sleep in our room.  He had been sleeping on the couch and he wasn't getting a good night's rest.  Bob, the boys, my cousin and her boyfriend and I got up early (7:00 a.m.) to watch Bob play indoor soccer.  (I usually don't take SJ since the noise is too much for him inside the arena.)  Bob's team won 5-2!  Yeah!  After soccer, I took my nephews back to my mom's house.  My sister's family was leaving around 10 a.m.  Bob and I drove home shortly after my sister left. 

My husband and I had dinner plans that evening, so the boys had to go back to my mom's house.  SJ wanted nothing to do with it.  He wasn't going over to Grammy's.  I wasn't going to argue with him, so I told him to get in the car.  They stayed at my parents for a few hours while we enjoyed an adult dinner out.  Shout out to Rivertown Inn in Verona, Pa.  Yummy!  After dinner, we picked them up and headed home. 

On Sunday, I just wanted a day of rest for all of us.  My husband decided to do some Christmas shopping, the boys played in the house (and later at a neighbors) while I caught up on some Tivo'd shows.  Holidays can be exhausting, but the time with family makes it all worthwhile! (If I repeat that a few times, I will really start to believe it!)

out of town guests for the holiday

My cousin and her boyfriend are coming out to stay with us the Thanksgiving holiday. She is in grad school out of state and she lives in California. (It is much cheaper and closer for her to travel to us than head back to California.) I spent the entire day cleaning our house for them and the 17 others that are coming for dinner. SJ is giving up his room for my cousin. I started the morning by stripping his bed. He HATES when I strip his bed!  Every time I wash his sheets, I have to hear the initial 10 minutes of yelling "Why did you take the sheets off of my bed?" I don't even acknowledge it anymore. I simply told him that she was staying in there and guests need clean sheets. He finally calmed down and continued to play. I, however, continued to clean.


A few hours later, my husband and I started to tackle the room itself. What a mess! He has Lego sets and random toys set up in such a way that it forms a track. That is fine for him, but anyone else will break their neck trying to walk through his room. My husband got most of the sets moved to his shelves (I tend to break them and can't rebuild them) while I dusted the room and remade the bed.


Meanwhile, SJ decided he was going to sleep in our unfinished basement.  He took all of his plushies (somewhere around 20), his pillows and his blanket into the basement. There is a section of carpet down there and my husband added a heating vent, but it is still chilly in there. He kept telling us that he was going to sleep there, but I had my doubts. After my cousin and her boyfriend arrive, he proceeded to tell them that is where he was sleeping. I shook my head and mouthed to them that he will probably end up on the couch. After 3 minutes of being in his "new bedroom", he came upstairs with his plushies, his pillows and his blanket. "I am going to sleep on the couch," he said. I smiled at our guests and said, "I knew you would."


I am glad that he isn't so inflexible that he was able to give up his room. He is learning the social niceties that make guest welcome. That is one of the many things that I am thankful for this holiday!

bowling and lots of errands

I took SJ to his bowling league on Saturday. He prefers to go with Daddy, but my husband was doing some painting in our house. SJ was a little crabby at first. He wasn't bowling as well as he usually does. He was getting a lot of splits and he would get mad when he couldn't pick up the spares. It wasn't a full blown tantrum, but I could see it building. Then someone offered him pizza. SJ LOVES PIZZA, but he isn't supposed to have dairy. (His specialist believes that it isn't good for some kids on the spectrum.) I allow him to have a slice of pizza at school every other week. He had pizza at school on Friday, so he was already at his dairy limit. I told the mom that offered it thank you, but SJ can't have any. I explained to her about the dairy limitations. SJ was so mad at me that I wouldn't let him have a slice. This anger added to the building rage that he was accumulating from not getting spares. I thought he was going to blow, but I couldn't give in about the pizza. Finally, he got a spare. I was able to see the anger melt away from him. Thank goodness that was over! For the remainder of the game, he was in a fairly good mood. I bought him some tokens and he played a few games.

After bowling, we went through the drive through for McDonald's. SJ now orders two hamburgers without pickles, medium fries and a small Hi-C orange. Normally, I don't get any food. However, I knew we would be stopping a few more times, so I would be starving by the time I got home. I ordered myself a southern fried chicken sandwich. So delicious, but I would be paying for it later. We went to "the Circle Store" (Target) to get a few things. An hour and more than a few dollars later, we were headed to the grocery store.

SJ wanted nothing to do with the grocery store, but I explained that we needed to get things for our Thanksgiving dinner. He wasn't getting out of the car (or so he said!). I told him if he was good he could get some gum. He was mostly well behaved in the store, so I got him a pack of gum. We had one more stop. We were donating some old toys to Goodwill. SJ was able to stay in the car while I unloaded our beloved toys to the donation center.

After we got home, SJ said that he was done. I asked him, "Done with what?" He said, "Stores." Little did he know we were going to have to head out in the evening to go to Lowe's. Cue the crying, yelling, refusing to go attitude. My husband bribed him with donuts and all the drama went away. I know we shouldn't bribe, but sometimes you just have to get a kid a donut to get what you need. Does that make us bad parents or just typical parents?

after school speech part 10

SJ had his after school speech session yesterday.  He was giving me a pretty hard time about going, but I told him he had to go.  He seemed fine once we got there.  Although his therapist told my husband the testing would begin after Thanksgiving, she started it during yesterday's session.  She said he was very cooperative.  The testing took the whole session, but they completed half of it.  The testing was on Problem Solving, Inferences and Predicting.  She said he had problems with the Predicting, but she was still pleased that he worked hard.  She said she should be able to finish the test the week after Thanksgiving. 

On our way home, I was in a bit of a hurry.  Half way to our house, I noticed a police officer behind me.  "Oh crap,” I said.  "What is wrong, Mom?" asked SJ.  "I have to pull over.  A police officer needs to talk to me," I replied.  The officer approached my car as I pulled out my driver's license, proof of insurance and registration.

"Do you know why I pulled you over?" he asked.  "I guess I was speeding," I replied.  "Do you know how fast you were going?" he asked.  "Maybe 55 mph," I said.  He said, "You were going 60 mph.  It is 40 mph here."  I said, "Sorry, I thought it was 50 mph."  He said, "Well, I am going to have to give you a citation."  I asked, "Can't you just me a warning?  I am a really nice person."  He smiled and walked back to his car.

As he was writing up my ticket, SJ asked me a question.  "Mom, is he going to arrest you?" SJ asked.  "No, he is not going to arrest me."  SJ asked, "Are you a criminal Mom?"  I answered, "I am not a criminal, but I did break a rule.  When you break a rule, you have to pay a consequence.  My consequence is that I will have to pay a fine."

The officer returned to my window.  He explained the citation to me and told me he liked my comment about being a nice person.  He told me I could go to the magistrate to fight the ticket.  I told him that it would be hard for me to get there.  He assured me that they would work around my schedule.  Maybe I will.  Maybe I will be lucky and he won't be able to come.  Maybe I have a little luck left in me!  Wish me luck!

bob's birthday sleepover

Bob did not want a party this year.  He is turning 11 tomorrow, so he told me he is too old for parties. (Can you imagine thinking that 11 is old?)  He just wanted to have a few boys over for a sleepover.  He invited 2 boys from his grade and 2 from SJ's grade (all good friends of his).  To his good fortune, all 4 boys were able to attend.  The boys started arriving between 6 and 7 last night.  After all the boys arrived, they started playing in the basement.  One of the boys brought his IPod Touch, so he plugged it into our sound system.  They were having a great time dancing to the music.  They were also doing typical boy things like wrestling, throwing balls at each other, playing darts and playing knee hockey. 

After a short while, the boys ate the pizza (SJ was in his glory...such a treat to have pizza!) and then we sang to Bob.  He didn't want a cake.  He wanted a cookie cake from our local grocery store.  The boys had their slice of cookie cake and then Bob opened his presents.  My husband thought the boys should watch a movie, so he put on Son of Flubber. Of course, none of the boys had ever heard of it.  He kept assuring them that it was funny.  Since they are preteens, they kept acting like an old black and white movie couldn't be funny.  He started fast forwarding to the funny scenes.  SJ was laughing, but the other boys were trying hard not to laugh.  Eventually, they gave in and were laughing as much as SJ.  After that activity, they were back down in the basement.  The music was playing full blast and then they started to leap over the hockey nets.  They thought it would be a good idea to make videos of themselves doing this.  (I guess they could have been making videos of worse things.) 

Around 9 p.m., we had the boys come upstairs to watch a movie (they chose Despicable Me).  SJ was so excited.  He was offering popcorn to the boys and he would occasionally dance when the "minions" did something funny in the movie.  After that movie was over, they all got their pajamas on and got their sleeping bags ready.  We gave them a "midnight" snack (it was actually 10:30) and they selected another movie.  This time they chose Alvin and the Chipmunks the Squeakel.  A couple of the boys passed out shortly before it was over.  When it ended at 12:15 a.m., I told the boys it was time to go to sleep.  Not one of the boys who were still awake fought me and they were all out by 12:30 a.m. 

They slowly started waking up between 7:30 and 8:00.  I had my husband run out to get donuts and bacon.  While they were eating breakfast, one of the boys asked me why SJ was acting crazy during the first movie.  I told him matter-of-factly that it was because he had Autism.  I asked him if he knew what that was.  He said he did know someone with it.  He then asked me if that is why he can't have cheese (we made an exception with the pizza for the party).  I said, "Yes.  When he eats too much dairy, he has a hard time controlling himself." He said, "Okay" and then shrugged his shoulders.  I am glad he asked why SJ acts like that sometimes.  I would hate for one of Bob's friends to just think SJ is weird.

After breakfast, they had about an hour to play before their parents picked them up.  After the last one left, Bob, SJ, my husband and I were exhausted.  We were exhausted from all the fun the boys had and that is a great reason to be tired.  Happy Birthday Bob!

after school speech 9

On Thursday, SJ had his after school speech.  We were a little late, so SJ's session was not quite the normal 30 minutes.  His therapist worked on the short news briefs with him again.  They did Where, Who and When questions.  She told my husband that he did fairly well with this.  She told my husband that she would be testing him to see where his levels are at.  It may take more than one session, so she is going to wait until after Thanksgiving to begin the testing.  I always look forward to the test results.  Usually, there is improvement, so it is good to see where he is at.  She told my husband that SJ's conversation skills were improving too!  Yeah!  There is only one more session until the holiday.  SJ will be excited when he figures out that there will not be therapy on Thanksgiving Day.

parent teacher conference

This was parent-teacher conference week at our school.  I had SJ's meeting first.  I was a little nervous to go see Mr. Gold, but my worries were unwarranted.  He was full of positive remarks about SJ.  He said he had a rough start to the year (this is normal for him...transitioning to a new classroom is hard for him).  He said that in the last 6 weeks SJ has been working very well.  He is complaining less and staying on task.  He doesn't generally like to be partnered up with other students.  Mr. Gold told me that just a few days ago he once again attempted to partner him up with a fellow student.  He was expecting SJ's normal grumbling, but to his surprise SJ complied without a grumble.  He worked very nicely with the student as well.  Mr. Gold also was happy to report of SJ's social strides.  He was engaging the students more and happily playing with them at recess.  I had received SJ's report card the week before.  He had 3 A's and 3 B's.  I was satisfied with his grades, but I wasn't sure if any of his grades were adapted.  Teachers sometimes adapt grades for students like SJ, who have disorders that impede their learning abilities.  I asked Mr. Gold about this at the conference.  To my pleasant surprise, he told me that none of his grades were adapted.  I was thrilled with that!  I am not sure if it is the extra speech, the supplements, us working with him or his maturity, but he is changing for the better.  That is one conference that I will remember for a long time!

autism friendly santa

We are a little beyond this, but this is such an awesome concept that I needed to share it.  I received this flyer at work and wished this had been available for us years ago. 

There are many kids on the spectrum who are sensitive to lights, noise and long lines.  ABOARD (Advisory Board on Autism and Related Disorders) has partnered with two local malls to provide an "Autism Friendly Santa" time.  The mall will be closed to the public so that the children with autism spectrum disorders and related disorders may have the opportunity to meet Santa in a less stimulating environment.  They will dim the lights, no music will be playing and no waiting in lines.  The "Autism Friendly Santa" will be quiet (no Ho Ho Ho's) and the photographer understands that they might need to catch candid moments with Santa if a posed picture isn't possible. 

The first session is at Monroeville Mall, Monroeville Pa. 15146 on Sunday, November 13, 2011.  It will be held from 9:30 a.m.-11:30 a.m.  Photos will be taken by Cherry Hill (standard photo package rates apply).  The second session is at Ross Park Mall, Pittsburgh, Pa. 15237 on Sunday, November 20, 2011.  It will be held from 6:00 p.m.-8:00 p.m.  Photos will be taken by Noerr (standard photo package rates apply).

These events are open to all with disabilities and their siblings.  Photo packages can be purchased directly from the photographer at an additional cost.   Parents are allowed to take photos of their child with Santa when a photo is also purchased from photographer.

If you have a child with sensory issues, this is a wonderful chance to capture a special holiday moment!

picture day photos

Bob and SJ brought home their school pictures yesterday.  Bob wanted to know if he could get them retaken.  I looked at his carefully.  He had a nice smile and he was looking at the camera.  (His hair is not my favorite, but it was as good as it was going to look without getting a haircut!)  I told him his picture was fine and he didn't need to have it retaken.  SJ's picture was questionable.  He was looking off to the side (very common with kids on the spectrum) and his glasses had slid down on his face.  However, the big problem was that the picture seemed a little out of focus.  I wanted to get mad at the photographer, but I know how SJ is.  He probably was having a very difficult time sitting still.  The lights and the flash bother him.  I am not sure how many shots they took to get this photo as the end result.  My husband was out of town for the day, so I waited for him to see them this morning.  He had the same opinion that I did.  We started discussing if SJ should have it retaken.  SJ was absolutely against getting it retaken.  He kept saying "It's fine, Mom. It's fine."  When you decide to have the pictures retaken, you have to return the originals.  My big concern was that there is no guarantee that the next picture would be any better.  He agreed, so we are going to keep the original pictures.  After all, they are just school pictures.  Hopefully, he won't be too upset with this decision in future years, but we all have a picture of ourselves like this.  Maybe next year he will be a little stiller when he has it taken!

after school speech part 8

On Thursday, SJ had his weekly after school speech.  She gave me his new treatment plan.  This document contains his goals, impairments and limitations.  His new goals will help him increase his understanding and expression of spoken language, so that he can effectively engage in conversation.  He will also work on communicating his thoughts, feelings and ideas in an organized manner.
1. She will help him develop strategies to help him maintain eye contact.
2.  SJ will answer "Why" questions related to real-world situations.
3. SJ will use an organized sequence of thoughts to retell a story or 3-4 part sequence of events to answer "How" questions.  She will give his cues and prompts during his structured therapy activities.
4. SJ will identify specific names of people, places, time, and objects after given a 2-4 sentence passage.  She will use silent repetition and/or graphic/written cues during structured therapy activities.
5. SJ will gather details, through the use of graphic organizers, to formulate the main idea of a story.  She will use cues and prompts to assist him.
She would also like us to work with him at home.  She would like us to demonstrate knowledge of strategies and skills used during his therapy sessions to promote carryover at home.  We will do this by completing the homework she assigns him.   
His therapist said they again worked on the short news briefs.  He had to answer a Who, What, Where or When question.  She said that he seemed to have an easier time answering the question when she read the article to him.  She said when he read the article he seemed to struggle with answering the question.  Of course, he kept insisting that he read the questions, so he struggled through quite a few of them.  I was really glad she shared this with me.  SJ usually has to bring his reading book home on Thursdays to read his story at home. He normally has his reading comprehension test on Fridays.  SJ was "accidently" forgetting to bring his book home on Thursdays.  I asked SJ's teacher to give me a copy of his book to keep here.  This way there will not be any more cases of his forgetting to bring the book home on Thursdays.  Since we have the book here, I told my husband that one of us could read the story to him on Wednesdays.  Then, he could read it to us on Thursday.  I am hoping that this technique will help SJ comprehend the story more easily.  We will try this for the next few weeks and I am so hoping for positive results

trick or treat for me and one for my brudder

Monday night was our trick-or-treat night.  SJ was so excited.  He loves everything about Halloween, but this is probably what he loves the most!  He couldn't wait to get on his Waluigi costume.  I told him to wait until after dinner to put it on.  He gobbled up his food so fast and then he ran upstairs to get changed.  A yearly tradition in our house is to take pictures of the boys on the front porch in front of their pumpkins.  SJ gladly posed in front of his Luigi inspired pumpkin.  Eventhough Bob wasn't feeling 100%, I still had him put on his costume (a $5 sheet from Wal-mart, which he cut out two eye holes...he was "classic ghost".)  He did agree to pose for pictures with SJ, but asked if he could skip trick-or-treating and stay at home.  I assumed that our one neighbor boy would want to trick-or-treat with the boys and I was correct.  He ended up trick-or-treating with SJ.  My husband took the two boys around, while Bob and I stayed at home to pass out the candy.  We had also turned our basement into a "Haunted Basement".  (To view our Haunted Basement, click on this link:  http://youtu.be/qz9xKnIkVuI)  Bob was in charge of taking the trick-or-treaters through the basement.
Meanwhile, SJ and the neighbor boy were going from house to house.  If they didn't answer the doors immediately, SJ and the boy would knock on the doors very loudly.  They would yell "Trick-or-Treat".  SJ would then ask each neighbor for a piece of candy for his sick "brudder".  When my husband told me that SJ was doing that, it just touched my heart.  It was so sweet that SJ would think to ask for treats for his brother.  He did this without any prompting or cues from my husband.  He did it all on his own.  It is such a great feeling to see a child, who 4 years ago wouldn't even look into a non-family member's eyes, exhibit such a loving act. 
So for those of you who are just beginning to experience what Autism is, take heart in the fact that it can get better.  It can get easier.  It can even sometimes appear to be invisible.  SJ is living proof of that!