summer begins...sorta

Summer officially began for the boys on June 9th. That meant that they could sleep in and begin their lazy days. I started a job that is not on their schedule. I didn't want them to be home alone, so I hired my dad, Pappy to the boys, to come hang out with them. He is to get them their lunch (I don't trust them to use the stove), drive SJ to Mrs. Banks' house for tutoring, get Bob to soccer practice and, most importantly, to get SJ to the pool.


Unfortunately, that first week of summer, the weather was acting more like fall. It was cold (high 60's and rainy). So much for Pappy taking SJ to the pool. He did make them lunch (with SJ and Bob showing how to turn the stove on) and made sure they did the few items that I assigned as their chores.


On Thursday, SJ went home with Pappy, since Bob had a soccer tournament that weekend. SJ is not a soccer fan.  He had a great time with my parents. He went out to lunch several times, out to dinner once, went bowling with Pappy and mini-golf with Grammy (my mom). I allowed him to take his PS3 with him, since my parents' backyard is tore up due to construction. My mom said he set it up in my old room and was using that room as a chill out room.


We returned from the soccer tournament on Sunday. It was still raining (SJ had hoped to go to the pool that day) when I met them at the mall to retrieve SJ. SJ had impatiently texted me several times on my way to the mall. I reminded him on the car ride home that I got there as quickly as I could and he needs to be more patient.


I asked him if he had fun with Grammy and Pappy and he chatted away about all the things that they did. So, even though he hasn't been to the pool much, he is still having a fun start to summer.

last day of 7th grade

SJ had his last day of seventh grade on June 8th. I couldn't believe yet another school year was finished. Normally, he would be returning to the junior high for eighth grade, but our district is closing the existing junior high building and constructing a sixth through eighth grade middle school. That is where he will be attending next year.


I have to be honest with you. I was very stressed about him going to junior high. Seventh and eighth grade are emotionally hard for all kids, but add in a PDD-NOS diagnosis and the difficulty multiplies. I was expecting a lot of teacher emails/phone calls about potentially bad behavior. I was pleasantly surprised that I never got any. Not a one. I was told during a parent/teacher conference that SJ could be grumpy about going to speech therapy and doing homework at home. Other than that, I only heard praises from all of his teachers.  His learning support teachers were so instrumental in his success. He had a lady (Mrs. Hazelnut) that co-taught in his reading and English class and a man (Mr. Timmers) who co-taught his math class and helped him during study skills. They were both wonderful (although SJ preferred Mr. Timmers). 


They had a half day on their last day. I kept wanted to send in something for these two wonderful teachers: a handwritten note, a gift card or a baked good. Time got away from me, though. I decided to write each of them an email (I know that it is not as personal, but better than nothing) to tell them how much my husband and I appreciated them. It was the least I could do.


The next day, I received a reply email from Mr. Timmers. It was one of the nicest emails that I ever received from any of SJ's teachers.


"You don't have to thank me. SJ was a huge part of his own success here at the junior high. He really came into his own here. I'm looking forward to working with him next year. He's going to do really well in 8th grade."


I am so proud of how far SJ has come. Sometimes, I think back to his diagnosis at 2 1/2. Would I have imagined SJ as the incredible young man that he is now? There were so many unknowns then. I wasn't sure if he would be able to function in traditional school. Would he always have to have someone with him to assist him? Would he have friends other than Bob? Would he be able to learn traditional school subjects and retain that knowledge? How would he fit into the social structure of school?


So, we are now 10+ years passed his diagnosis date. He is in traditional school. He is succeeding academically (all A's and 2 B's with a GPA of 3.79). He is in some co-taught classes, but this was his first year without a full-time aide. He has a few good friends (which is all any of us need). He was on Student Council, went to all three dances and performed awesomely at the Talent Show. He has exceeded my expectations by leaps and bounds.


If I look ahead 5 years to when he graduates high school, I look at his future with great optimism. I know he is going to continue to surprise us (in a good way) with his success. What a great year this was for him!

junior high talent show

As you know if you have been reading this blog, SJ was going to enter the Talent Show at his junior high. You also know that all of us, except SJ, were anxious and worried about his performance. Would he mumble the lyrics? Would he sing off key? Would he get laughed at by his peers?  That whole morning I was a ball of stress over SJ's performance.


I sent two of his teachers an email to see how he did. Unfortunately, they did not get back to me. (I am sure they were busy, but I was "dying".) This caused me more stress. I was hoping that one of them would videotape him, but I would have to wait and see. 


Around 3:30, I got an voicemail from Meryl's mom. She said, "I think SJ had a really good performance. Meryl said that everyone was clapping and he even had a standing O. I asked her if people were clapping for real or were they mocking him and she said they were clapping for real. Be proud and shed a few happy tears, because SJ did a great job."


That was one of the best voicemails that I got in my life. A short while later, I heard from Topher's and Willie's mom who said that SJ was awesome in the Talent Show. I immediately called my husband to relay the wonderful news. He was so happy that he was almost crying in elation.


My husband got home before I did and congratulated SJ on his incredible performance. SJ didn't want to talk about it much, but he did say that the "kids enjoyed it". I gave him a big hug and told him how proud we were of him. He said he didn't know if he would win (results were going to be announced on Monday morning). I reminded him that he won by just being courageous and trying.


That evening, I got an email from one of his teachers reiterating that SJ did an awesome job.  I put a post on social media since I could hardly contain my pride. I got many reply messages from parents who said their kids really enjoyed SJ's act. That gave me such pure happiness.


All the worry over judgmental teenagers was for not. I am sure there were still a few stinkers that can't focus on the positive, but I will only focus on the fact that my child with PDD-NOS got on a stage, sang his original lyrics, made students smile and stand up for him. That gives me hope that others like SJ can pursue their dreams regardless of potential bullies or mean spirited souls. SJ is a testament to the fact that just because you have a label, it doesn't mean your diagnosis is one size fits all. So proud of our awesome son!

after school speech 13

Two Tuesdays ago, my husband took SJ to his after school speech session. He told SJ's therapist about the upcoming Talent Show. She said she would address this during the session. Before they began to talk about the Talent Show, they continued to work on Idioms. This is always a favorite skill for SJ to work on. She said he did fairly well with the Idiom practice. She suggested to my husband that we continue to work on these at home with him. My husband told her that we would and he printed out the 25 most common idioms for us to practice at home.


Next, she asked him about the Talent Show. He told her what his act was (parody rap) and that he was a little nervous to perform. She asked him what made him nervous and he listed off four items:

• Forgetting the words
• Others may make fun of me
• Music will be loud
• I might mumble

Then, they discussed strategies for him to try to lessen his worry for each of the items. First, for forgetting the words, she suggested the following strategies:

• He can practice A LOT!
• He can practice by himself.
• He can practice in front of others.

Second, for the worry of others making fun of him, she told him to try:

• He can practice in front of others and ask them what they think.
• He can take advice from your audience when you practice.

Third, for the music possibly being too loud, she proposed:

• He could wear ear plugs to protect his ears and make the sounds quieter.
• He could ask the staff to make his music and microphone quieter when he performs.
• He could practice with loud music.

Last, for the mumbling of his speech, she recommended:

• He should speak clearly.
• He should speak loudly.
• He should take his time when talking.

I thought she gave him excellent strategies to ease his nervousness and possible stage fright. We had him practice in front of us and by himself many times before the Talent Show and we reminded him to reread his note cards several times. I hope these strategies work and he will get through the performance successfully.