you're hurting me taking my blood!

Well, I finally took SJ to get his blood work yesterday. I had lost the prescription for a few weeks. After I found it, I was in no particular hurry to get it done. SJ HATES getting his blood work done. His specialist runs a battery of tests on his blood. He checks metal and mineral levels. He checks his gluten (Flour) and casein (milk) levels. He also checks his cholesterol and a few other things I can't decipher.

Usually, I take him to Children's Hospital. It is a great place, but it is a pretty far drive. Our local hospital had recently opened a satellite office nearby. I had just been there last week to get a sonogram on my thyroid and I asked if they did blood work. They gave me a list of things they can't draw. I checked the list yesterday and it appeared that they would be able to draw for each tests.

I had called in advance and talked to a super helpful lady. She assured me that they would be able to do the blood work. I told her that we would be there within an hour, but truly it was closer to 90 minutes. As soon as I told SJ that we were going to get his blood work done, he started throwing a fit! He started crying and asking not to go. "Can't we go tomorrow?" asked SJ. "No, they are not open," I lied. He always wants to put off anything non-preferred to another day.

We got there and I registered him. It took them quite a while to get the tubes labeled and ready. The tech came out twice to reassure us that she was almost done. Finally after waiting 42 minutes, we were called back. "Does he do okay with getting his blood work?" she asked. "As good as can be expected," I replied. She asked me to hold his arm still and she put the blue band around his arm. "You're hurting me," yelled SJ. She hadn't even put in the butterfly needle yet. "You're fine. She didn't even do anything yet," I told him.

I told him to look away, but of course he didn't listen. "Ow! You're hurting me," yelled SJ again. "Stop taking my blood," pleaded SJ. I told SJ to stay calm. "See, there is only one needle and 5 tubes. That is so much less than they usually take," I told him. When we go to Children's Hospital, they take about 13 test tubes. However, they are much skinnier. These tubes were fairly bigger and they took more blood. After the second tube was filled, he asked if she was done. "Not yet, honey. Three more to go," the tech said. She tried to talk to him to distract him, but he was having nothing to do with that. "Make her stop, Mom. It is hurting me," he cried. "It is almost over," I reassured him. At one point during tube four, SJ let out an ear piercing cry. "Stop yelling like that," I said. "You will scare the old people in the lobby."

Finally when she got to tube five, he was just whining. "Do you want to stop for a treat on the way home?" I asked him. "We could get a donut," I added. "It is not Sunday," said SJ. The tech gave him some stickers and told him he did a great job. "Sorry for his behavior," I said. "He is on the spectrum." SJ said, "My brother says I am autistic, but I am not." I said, "Yes, you are." He said, "No, I am not." She looked at me and said, "Don't worry about it. My son is on the spectrum too." Now I know why she was so patient. You have to be patient when you are raising a child on the spectrum. I told her good luck and she said the same to me. I will take any luck that I can get!

christmas day and all the trimmings

Well, the boys had woken up at 6:34 a.m. on Christmas morning.  They woke up my parents, Uncle Greg, my husband and I.  "It is Christmas.  It is Christmas.  Get up everyone," SJ shouted at the top of the stairs.  My mom had hurt her leg the night before, so she hobbled down the steps before the boys ran her down.  The rest of us made it downstairs a few minutes later. Bob was still pretty tired, so he said SJ could open all of his presents first.

SJ started opening.  He got a few Lego sets, a 1000 piece puzzle, and a calendar.  He went to open what he said was a "clothes box".  "Just clothes," he sighed.  Then, to his surprise it was three new plushies: Doug the dog from "Up", Bullseye from "Toy Story" and Dr. Doofenshmirtz from "Phineas & Ferb".  He continued to open his gifts.  He picked up a big box and shook it.  "Not more Legos," complained SJ.  He opened it up and saw that there was just a handful of Legos and a smaller wrapped box.  "Oh, Santa tried to trick me," said SJ with a smile.  He opened the small box and it was a new IPod.  "Finally, I got my IPod," he said out loud as if he had been waiting for one for years. 

Bob opened his presents.  He also got some Legos, a puzzle, Yahtzee Flash and a calendar.  We didn't see a smile until he opened his Domino Rally game.  Finally, I thought to myself.  Then, he opened his camera to use with his PS3.  This was another favorite of Bob's.  He opened the rest of his presents and seemed to melt away any tiredness that he had in him. 

We had the boys open their presents from my parents (a Helicopter and more Legos) and then the adults opened their presents.  We all had breakfast and then the boys started to play.  This went on for the remainder of the day until it was time to go to Isaac's house (my cousin's kid).  They were excited to go over there.

We stayed there for a few hours.  The boys love playing with Isaac.  We were playing Jeff Foxworthy's You Might Be a Redneck if...game.  SJ, Bob and Isaac were in hysterics as they were reading the questions to us.  After we left there, we headed over to my husband's cousin's house.  Bob always stays near us since he is so shy.  SJ, on the other hand, is the complete opposite.  He just goes from room to room chatting away to my husband's relatives that we only see occasionally.  So much for being socially awkward!  After a while, the boys played with the kids that were there and SJ did his best to keep their dog away from him.  My husband brought in the board game and SJ was entertaining the adults with the questions.  We stayed there for a couple of hours and then headed home. 

The boys fell asleep pretty quickly after we returned home.  A good day was had by all of us that day.  We hope you all had a wonderful holiday!

christmas eve festivities

Well, we had over both our immediate families for Christmas Eve.  As our guests arrived, the present piles got bigger and bigger.  We never open presents until after we eat.  We had the traditional spiral baked ham (I wanted to do a filet of beef, but it was WAY TOO EXPENSIVE!!!), coleslaw, green beans almondine, corn, mashed potatoes & gravy, rolls and salad.  The ham was a little overdone (SJ walked into the kitchen and asked my husband why we were making bacon-LOL!), but everything was still delicious. 

We always start with the youngest to begin the gift opening.  That is always SJ. SJ got some Lego's and a few gift cards.  As soon as he was done opening his presents, he took off to his room to build them.  After SJ, it was Bob's turn.  He also got some Lego's and gift cards too.  Then we moved on to our nephew, my sister, I, my brother-in-law, my husband, my sister-in-laws, my parents and then my sister-in-law's mother-in-law. 

SJ was upstairs for a while building his Lego's, while Bob was playing video games with our teenage nephew.  It was a lovely night for the adults.  We had great conversation, good food, good drinks and a lot of laughs.  When all of our guests left except our overnight guests (my parents and Uncle Greg), SJ told me that he was going to sleep in Bob's room.  He had already set up his sleeping bag and pillow in Bob's room.  Of course, he had his bin of plushies too!  The boys had put on their new Christmas pajamas (another yearly tradition) and I had them sprinkle the reindeer dust on the front walkway.  They went to bed around 10 p.m.  I told them not to go downstairs in the morning until they woke my husband and me up.  They aren't allowed to get us up before 6:30 a.m.  I thought since they went to bed so late they might have slept in until 8:00 a.m.  No such luck!  They were up at 6:34 a.m. 

christmas prep

Every year, we have a Christmas Eve party. It is always with my husband's family and sometimes my family comes too. This year both sides were coming. We had a lot to do to get ready. I had done most of my food shopping on Wednesday and Thursday. The boys were spared from that frustrating task. We had a 3/4 school day on Thursday. When the boys and I returned from school, my husband informed me that his brother Greg would be staying with us.

My parents were going to be spending the night as well on Christmas Eve, so I asked SJ if he would be willing to give up his bed for Uncle Greg. "But where will I sleep?" said SJ. "I don't know. Either in the playroom with Grammy and Pappy or in Bob's room," I replied. He couldn't decide then, so I told him that we could just decide on Christmas Eve night.

Christmas Eve eve I had the boys helping my husband and I clean up the house. I was actually happy that Greg was staying with us (not that I wouldn't normally be), since it was an even better reason to clean out SJ's room. I got all the small toys put away and then moved on to the bigger stuff. I stripped his bed and surprisingly not a single complaint was heard. I got the whole room dusted and vacuumed. (This is usually a very difficult task due to all the small treasures that he keeps around the room.)

After we had the boys' rooms done, we moved on to the remainder of the house. We managed to finish most of the house on Friday, except for the bathrooms (which always get done the day of the party). I had thrown all of SJ's plushies in a bin and they were sitting in the hall. "Where am I sleeping tonight?" asked SJ. "In your room," I said. "But what about my plushies?" he asked. "Just take a few in your room, but put them back in the bin when you wake up," I said. It hadn't occurred to me that he thought he wouldn't be able to sleep in his room that night.

Overall, I felt the boys were very helpful. I guess they know that Santa is coming and with him comes presents. Too bad Santa doesn't come every night!

portal north pole

So, the other day my mom had a message sent from Santa for each of the boys. It is on a sight called Portal North Pole. You type in some information about your child (or grandchild) and they get a personal message from Santa. He starts off by saying their name like "Hello Bob. I see you’re from Pennsylvania and you are 11 years old." He gives them something to work on (like being nicer to your brother) and tells them one thing he is bringing. Then, he has some elves check if they are on the Naughty or Nice list. After a few seconds, the green or red light turns on. Both boys were on the nice list.

You would think this would make them happy, right? WRONG!!! They were both upset. Bob was pouting and said to us, "I shouldn't have told Grammy that I wanted a big bucket of Legos. She must have told Santa that. I don't want that now. I want a camera for my PS3." I said, "You never said you wanted a camera for your PS3. How was Santa going to know that?" He went upstairs to pout some more. I know he sounds so spoiled. In all fairness to him, he truly couldn't decide what he wanted. We were just trying to guess at what to get him.

It was the same with SJ. Every time we asked him what he wanted, he would say he didn't know. "I'll think about it next week," said SJ each time we asked. SJ got upset over the video too, but not for the same reason as Bob. Santa told him he was getting a Wii game (not sure if Santa really is). He went upstairs to cry in his room. When I went up to talk to him, I asked him why he was crying. He said, "I am not crying. I am sweating from my eyes." He said, "I don't just want a Wii game. I want some plushies, Legos and an IPod." I said, "When has Santa ever brought you only one gift?"  That seemed to calm him down a little.  Well, Santa is bringing plushies and Legos, but not an IPod. "Santa may not have time to change his list since it so close to Christmas," I told SJ. He continued to "sweat from his eyes".

Now, I thought the video from Santa was a great idea. I don't know why these two were so upset over it. So, if you have kids who aren't as "sensitive" as mine, maybe your kids will enjoy it. Good luck and happy holidays!

swoosh, swoosh, swoosh

On Saturday, my husband took SJ skiing at Hidden Valley Resort. In Pennsylvania, they have a ski program for kids in 4th and 5th grade. For a small fee, these kids get a few discount lift tickets at the various local ski resorts. My husband has always loved skiing, so he naturally would like the boys to ski with him.

Last year, we took both boys out of school for the day and took them skiing. We got them lessons. Bob opted to try snowboarding and SJ stuck with skiing. There was hardly anyone there, so they got a private lesson (although we had paid for a group lesson). SJ was giving the instructor some difficulty, but thankfully the instructor was super patient and determined. After their lesson was over, we spent a couple of hours on the bunny hill practicing what they learned.

After we took a break for lunch, we got them on one of the lifts and made our way down one of the green hills (beginner hills are labeled as green). Bob did not like the lifts AT ALL! He was so scared of falling off the chair and getting hit with the chair as he was attempting to get off. This seems reasonable to me, since these are my fears as well. Needless to say, Bob was not too keen to go up the lift again. He decided to stay at the bunny hill. SJ and my husband went up the lift a few times without us. Once SJ got a handle on the "French fries" (going straight) and the "pizza" (stopping yourself), he seemed to really enjoy it.

When it came time to sign the boys up for the ski program, SJ was super excited, but Bob opted to not sign up. My husband tried to talk him into it several times, but he is a stubborn little guy. A few months ago, my husband took SJ to get skis, rental boots, a helmet and other ski accessories. When we got a few snowflakes a couple of weeks ago, SJ was ready to go. Unfortunately, there wasn't enough snow in the mountains to ski.

This past weekend we did get more snow. SJ was ready to go again. My husband checked the ski report and they did have some snow at Hidden Valley. They were having an opening day special, so the lift tickets were reasonably priced. They left early in the morning. My husband said there weren’t many people there, so it was a great day for SJ to start skiing again. They didn't have all the trails open, but they had enough to satisfy SJ and my husband.

They did one or two runs on the bunny hill and then got on the lifts. SJ did such a great job. He had a little trouble getting off of the chair the first time, but after that he did much better. They started off with a few green hills. SJ was skiing so well that he would ski right up to the lift line. He fell at one point, so he called for my husband to help him up. As my husband was trying to help him up, he almost fell on SJ. SJ managed to get up and started skiing down the hill. When my husband caught up to him, he said that they should try that again. "I almost fell on you, SJ," my husband said. "Yeah, it was fun. Let's do that again," said SJ. "No, we aren't going to that again," said my husband.

They went up the lift again and this time SJ wanted to try a blue hill (medium difficulty). SJ did pretty well on it, but then they stayed on the green hills. My husband said the day was great except for the fact that it was so cold. After they skied for a few more hours, they came home. SJ was very excited to tell me about the trip, but he was also very tired. I am glad he has found something else that my husband and he can do together. What a great bonding day!

flashback to SJ in kindergarten

I work in our local kindergarten.  For the past 6 or so years, they have been playing The Polar Express at Christmas time.  The kids get to come to school dressed in their pajamas.  They get their ticket and watch the movie.  After the movie is over, they return to their rooms and have cocoa and treats.  They also receive a bell (just like in the movie). 

When SJ was in kindergarten, I thought he would be so excited to go to school on Polar Express Day.  (We had already seen the movie and he loved it.)  A few days before Polar Express Day, he started getting agitated about going to school.  My husband and I couldn't understand why he was so upset.  He eventually told us that he didn't want to go to school on Polar Express Day.

"Why?" we asked.  "I don't want to get on the train," said SJ.  "What train?" we asked.  "The Polar Express," he replied.  SJ thought that they were going to get on the train from the kindergarten and go to the North Pole.  Once we explained to him that he was just going to watch a movie, he was much more relaxed. 

Now, every year when they watch this movie, I remember SJ's thought.  That is the difference between a typical child and one with PDD.  The typical child doesn't always take things so literally, but children on the spectrum sometimes do.  I am happy to report that SJ can see more gray in situations now.  He is not a strictly black and white person   I am glad that is one area where he is breaking free of the autism world.

after school speech part 13

On Thursday, SJ had his weekly speech session.  He was pretty crabby about having "double speech", but I reminded him that he would be taking a break from speech during the holiday.  I decided that since we are having a vacation from school we will take a break from speech too.  He seemed pleased when he heard this news.

He wanted my husband to take him to speech, which was fine with me.  I am in the process of making the many dozens of cookies that I bake each Christmas season.  I was working on chewy chocolate peanut butter chip cookies and making truffles that night.  My husband said that his therapist said he had a good session.  She finished the testing, but she didn't have the calculations done yet.  She said she would have them done when he returned in the new year. 

They worked on Sequencing and Predicting Outcomes.  She said he had some trouble with the sequencing.  He wasn't given visual cues.  He was just given a situation, such as how do you wrap a birthday present.  (In all fairness to SJ, he has never wrapped a present a day in his life.  However, you get the example situation.)  She said she had to give him some prompts and then he was able to do the sequences. 

On the predicting outcomes worksheet, he did a little better.  The one that he had trouble with was this example:  Your mom put water in a big pan and turned the burner to high.  What happened next?  He could have answered that the water boiled or I added some ingredients.  He didn't know how to respond.  That could be my fault, since I don't usually involve the boys in my cooking.  I am always worried about the boys getting burned. 

So, SJ is speech free until January 5th.  I don't know how we are going to fill our Thursday evenings, but I bet I can find something for us to do!

i'm not going to grammy's

On Saturday evening, we had dinner reservations at the Grand Concourse. We were celebrating my sister-in-law's 50th birthday. The Grand Concourse is a very nice restaurant in Pittsburgh. Some people take children there, but it is more of an adult restaurant. Since we weren't taking the boys, they were going to spend the night at my parent's house.

An hour before we were to leave, I told SJ to go pack his things for the sleepover. He started whining and telling us that he didn't want to go. "I don't want to go to Grammy's. Maybe I will go next weekend," said SJ. As if this was an option! My husband said, "SJ, we are celebrating aunt DJ's birthday tonight. Not next weekend." A very teary SJ yells that he is not going. I said, "You have 5 minutes to go pack your things or I will pack them." He stormed off to the playroom, where he began to play some game on his Wii.

After 5 minutes, I went upstairs to again ask him to pack some things. "No, I am not going to Grammy's. Just get a babysitter, "said SJ. "We are not getting a babysitter. You are going to Grammy's," I said in a very frustrated voice. He wouldn't pack his things, so I packed them for him. I told him if he didn't pack his plushies then they would stay home. "They are staying here and so am I," he declared. "No, you are not. Go get your shoes on and get in the car," I told him. He stomped down the stairs crying the whole way.

When the rest of us got into the car, he was still complaining.  My husband told him to cut it out. He said Grammy and Pappy love him and they would feel said to know he was complaining about having a sleepover. "Next time you and Mom go out can you get a babysitter?" he asked. "Maybe we will SJ," my husband replied.

He continued to whine the whole way to my parents' house. "Can you come back for me after dinner?" SJ asked. "Depends on how late we are out. You don't want us to wake you," my husband said. "I just want you to come back," SJ said. "We'll see," I said. I knew there was no way we were coming back, but it calmed him down.

I told my mom that he was in a mood and she said he would be fine a few minutes after we left. I called her from the restaurant to see how he was. She said he was still complaining right after we left, so she put him in the corner (her tried and true punishment). She told him he could come out after he stopped complaining. She said he lasted about 5 minutes and then the complaining stopped. She told him she was going to get their dinner and asked if he wanted to come. He said, "No, I will stay with Pappy. I will take 2 hamburgers no pickle, medium fry and a Hi-C orange. You got it." She said, "Yes, I have your order." She and Bob left to get the food and there wasn't any more whining from SJ for the night.

He seemed quite fine when we picked him up the next day. I will remind him of this the next time he starts refusing to go somewhere. Do you think it will help? Doubtful, but I can try!

after school speech part 12

This week my very kind husband took SJ to speech. I had tons of cookies to bake for a cookie swap, so I appreciated the break. SJ's normal speech therapist was not there, so he had a substitute. He had this substitute therapist before and he was comfortable with her. The nice thing about SJ having a therapist that he hasn't had in a while is that they can see the vast improvements that he makes. She told my husband that she could hardly get a word in edgewise, since he was so talkative. (I love hearing that my PDD child is talkative. Only 6 years ago, he was constantly silent.) She finished up his testing and then she worked on more Why questions with him. She said he had a good session.

After speech, my husband and SJ went to McDonald's for dinner. After they finished that, they made two stops to get things for Christmas. He was smart to get him fed first. SJ is notoriously difficult to take shopping if he is hungry. When they returned, I had finished my 11 dozen cookies. SJ told me that he had a different therapist and where they went to shop. He was in a good mood. I was glad that he wasn't nearly as difficult for my husband as he was for me the week before. Only one more session before Christmas break.

after school speech part 11

My, oh my, angry SJ was back on Thursday!  When I told him it was a speech day, he started sobbing on the way home from school.  As soon as we got home, he ran into the house and right up to the playroom.  I told him not to get involved in anything long, because we were leaving in 10 minutes.  Did he listen to me?  Of course not!  He started playing Mario Cart Wii.  When it was time to go, he started yelling that he wasn't going.  "Maybe tomorrow," he yelled down the stairs.  I yelled back, "No, speech isn't tomorrow.  Speech is today.  Now let's go!"  He stomped down the stairs to the main floor and then down the stairs into the basement.  I reminded him to get his coat on.  He yelled that he wasn't cold.  (I guess 30 degrees isn't cold to SJ!)  "Too bad,” I said. "Put your coat on!"  More stomping and then I heard the car door slam. 

Then he proceeded to cry and whine for 10 minutes of the 30 minute drive.  Give me strength, I thought.  Thank goodness for the IPad.  He started playing a game on it, which settled him down.  We were two minutes late (pretty normal for us) and he ran right in.  He said, "Where is she?"  I said, "She will be out soon."  He asked to go to the bathroom, so I told him to go.  She came out to the reception area 30 seconds later and asked where SJ was.  "Bathroom," I replied.  She said she was going to try to finish the testing after he came out of the bathroom.

When his session was done, she said he completed most of the test.  He only has two more questions to complete.  She said she would be out next week, so her substitute will finish the testing.  He has had this sub before and he likes her.  She assigned him some Why questions for homework.  I have already asked him a couple.  He seemed to answer them easily, but maybe I just picked easy questions.  Hopefully next week there will be a lot less crying, whining and yelling!

thanksgiving and all the festivities

Well, I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving!  We ended up with 17 for dinner on turkey day.  My husband and I brined two 13 1/2 lb turkeys, mashed 10 lbs of potatoes, made two 13X9 casseroles of sausage brioche stuffing, made 4 cups of gravy, a veggie tray, hot pepper jelly appetizer and 3 different kinds of cookies (iced sugar, chocolate chip and mint/dark chocolate chip).  The boys weren't very much help on turkey day, but they did manage to keep the house tidy until the guests arrived.

While we were putting on the finishing touches, the boys along with my cousin, her boyfriend, my niece and nephews played an impromptu game of soccer.  It was a little muddy outside, but none of the kids (young and old) seemed to mind.  It was so nice to hear the sounds of them playing outside.  I was surprised at how well SJ played with the other kids.  No crying over not winning and no yelling.  All I heard was his laughter.  We called them in to eat and we all found a spot somewhere in our house to eat all the yummy food.  (Other foods were provided by my mom, my sisters and my sister-in-law.) 

After dinner, SJ, my parents, my cousin and my young niece and nephews sat down to play Tripoly.  SJ had never played before, but he seemed to quite enjoy it.  They played that game for about an hour.  The kids then moved on to video games, which left it quiet on the first floor for adult conversation. 

On Friday, we met another cousin of mine for bowling at Funfest.  Her son is only three and had never been bowling.  At first, I decided that we were all going to bowl.  That was my husband, Bob, SJ, my cousin, her son and I.  SJ was getting very agitated, since he had to wait so long between turns.  An additional irritant for him was the fact that he wasn't getting any strikes or spares.  Fortunately, he finally got a spare in the 7th frame.  When it was time to play the next game, we opted to just have the kids bowl.  This made SJ much happier (Bob and Felix too!)  After our two games were finished, we went over to the arcade and each boy had 10 tokens.  They all enjoyed the arcade! 

We went over to McDonalds for lunch.  Boy, can that Felix eat!  He almost ate more than my boys and he is at least 6 years younger.  The boys enjoyed eating lunch with Felix.  It was nice to get a chance to spend some time with my cousin too!  After McDonalds, we went home for a while.  We were expected for dinner at my mom's later that evening.  When we got to my mom's house, my aunt from Va. was there with most of her family, my cousin and her son (Isaac), my cousin and her boyfriend (from Ca.), my sister's family and my mom.  We spent some time hanging out before dinner and then headed to my other aunt's house for the actual dinner.  We all went over there.  My other cousin and her husband were there too.  The kids ate their dinner in the living room while the adults ate in the dining room.  We all had a great time taking pictures and talking. 

My sister's boys wanted to spend the night at our house, so my cousin and her boyfriend drove them back to our house.  All four boys were able to play for about an hour and then it was time for bed.  They all slept in Bob's room, but SJ opted to sleep in our room.  He had been sleeping on the couch and he wasn't getting a good night's rest.  Bob, the boys, my cousin and her boyfriend and I got up early (7:00 a.m.) to watch Bob play indoor soccer.  (I usually don't take SJ since the noise is too much for him inside the arena.)  Bob's team won 5-2!  Yeah!  After soccer, I took my nephews back to my mom's house.  My sister's family was leaving around 10 a.m.  Bob and I drove home shortly after my sister left. 

My husband and I had dinner plans that evening, so the boys had to go back to my mom's house.  SJ wanted nothing to do with it.  He wasn't going over to Grammy's.  I wasn't going to argue with him, so I told him to get in the car.  They stayed at my parents for a few hours while we enjoyed an adult dinner out.  Shout out to Rivertown Inn in Verona, Pa.  Yummy!  After dinner, we picked them up and headed home. 

On Sunday, I just wanted a day of rest for all of us.  My husband decided to do some Christmas shopping, the boys played in the house (and later at a neighbors) while I caught up on some Tivo'd shows.  Holidays can be exhausting, but the time with family makes it all worthwhile! (If I repeat that a few times, I will really start to believe it!)

out of town guests for the holiday

My cousin and her boyfriend are coming out to stay with us the Thanksgiving holiday. She is in grad school out of state and she lives in California. (It is much cheaper and closer for her to travel to us than head back to California.) I spent the entire day cleaning our house for them and the 17 others that are coming for dinner. SJ is giving up his room for my cousin. I started the morning by stripping his bed. He HATES when I strip his bed!  Every time I wash his sheets, I have to hear the initial 10 minutes of yelling "Why did you take the sheets off of my bed?" I don't even acknowledge it anymore. I simply told him that she was staying in there and guests need clean sheets. He finally calmed down and continued to play. I, however, continued to clean.


A few hours later, my husband and I started to tackle the room itself. What a mess! He has Lego sets and random toys set up in such a way that it forms a track. That is fine for him, but anyone else will break their neck trying to walk through his room. My husband got most of the sets moved to his shelves (I tend to break them and can't rebuild them) while I dusted the room and remade the bed.


Meanwhile, SJ decided he was going to sleep in our unfinished basement.  He took all of his plushies (somewhere around 20), his pillows and his blanket into the basement. There is a section of carpet down there and my husband added a heating vent, but it is still chilly in there. He kept telling us that he was going to sleep there, but I had my doubts. After my cousin and her boyfriend arrive, he proceeded to tell them that is where he was sleeping. I shook my head and mouthed to them that he will probably end up on the couch. After 3 minutes of being in his "new bedroom", he came upstairs with his plushies, his pillows and his blanket. "I am going to sleep on the couch," he said. I smiled at our guests and said, "I knew you would."


I am glad that he isn't so inflexible that he was able to give up his room. He is learning the social niceties that make guest welcome. That is one of the many things that I am thankful for this holiday!

bowling and lots of errands

I took SJ to his bowling league on Saturday. He prefers to go with Daddy, but my husband was doing some painting in our house. SJ was a little crabby at first. He wasn't bowling as well as he usually does. He was getting a lot of splits and he would get mad when he couldn't pick up the spares. It wasn't a full blown tantrum, but I could see it building. Then someone offered him pizza. SJ LOVES PIZZA, but he isn't supposed to have dairy. (His specialist believes that it isn't good for some kids on the spectrum.) I allow him to have a slice of pizza at school every other week. He had pizza at school on Friday, so he was already at his dairy limit. I told the mom that offered it thank you, but SJ can't have any. I explained to her about the dairy limitations. SJ was so mad at me that I wouldn't let him have a slice. This anger added to the building rage that he was accumulating from not getting spares. I thought he was going to blow, but I couldn't give in about the pizza. Finally, he got a spare. I was able to see the anger melt away from him. Thank goodness that was over! For the remainder of the game, he was in a fairly good mood. I bought him some tokens and he played a few games.

After bowling, we went through the drive through for McDonald's. SJ now orders two hamburgers without pickles, medium fries and a small Hi-C orange. Normally, I don't get any food. However, I knew we would be stopping a few more times, so I would be starving by the time I got home. I ordered myself a southern fried chicken sandwich. So delicious, but I would be paying for it later. We went to "the Circle Store" (Target) to get a few things. An hour and more than a few dollars later, we were headed to the grocery store.

SJ wanted nothing to do with the grocery store, but I explained that we needed to get things for our Thanksgiving dinner. He wasn't getting out of the car (or so he said!). I told him if he was good he could get some gum. He was mostly well behaved in the store, so I got him a pack of gum. We had one more stop. We were donating some old toys to Goodwill. SJ was able to stay in the car while I unloaded our beloved toys to the donation center.

After we got home, SJ said that he was done. I asked him, "Done with what?" He said, "Stores." Little did he know we were going to have to head out in the evening to go to Lowe's. Cue the crying, yelling, refusing to go attitude. My husband bribed him with donuts and all the drama went away. I know we shouldn't bribe, but sometimes you just have to get a kid a donut to get what you need. Does that make us bad parents or just typical parents?

after school speech part 10

SJ had his after school speech session yesterday.  He was giving me a pretty hard time about going, but I told him he had to go.  He seemed fine once we got there.  Although his therapist told my husband the testing would begin after Thanksgiving, she started it during yesterday's session.  She said he was very cooperative.  The testing took the whole session, but they completed half of it.  The testing was on Problem Solving, Inferences and Predicting.  She said he had problems with the Predicting, but she was still pleased that he worked hard.  She said she should be able to finish the test the week after Thanksgiving. 

On our way home, I was in a bit of a hurry.  Half way to our house, I noticed a police officer behind me.  "Oh crap,” I said.  "What is wrong, Mom?" asked SJ.  "I have to pull over.  A police officer needs to talk to me," I replied.  The officer approached my car as I pulled out my driver's license, proof of insurance and registration.

"Do you know why I pulled you over?" he asked.  "I guess I was speeding," I replied.  "Do you know how fast you were going?" he asked.  "Maybe 55 mph," I said.  He said, "You were going 60 mph.  It is 40 mph here."  I said, "Sorry, I thought it was 50 mph."  He said, "Well, I am going to have to give you a citation."  I asked, "Can't you just me a warning?  I am a really nice person."  He smiled and walked back to his car.

As he was writing up my ticket, SJ asked me a question.  "Mom, is he going to arrest you?" SJ asked.  "No, he is not going to arrest me."  SJ asked, "Are you a criminal Mom?"  I answered, "I am not a criminal, but I did break a rule.  When you break a rule, you have to pay a consequence.  My consequence is that I will have to pay a fine."

The officer returned to my window.  He explained the citation to me and told me he liked my comment about being a nice person.  He told me I could go to the magistrate to fight the ticket.  I told him that it would be hard for me to get there.  He assured me that they would work around my schedule.  Maybe I will.  Maybe I will be lucky and he won't be able to come.  Maybe I have a little luck left in me!  Wish me luck!

bob's birthday sleepover

Bob did not want a party this year.  He is turning 11 tomorrow, so he told me he is too old for parties. (Can you imagine thinking that 11 is old?)  He just wanted to have a few boys over for a sleepover.  He invited 2 boys from his grade and 2 from SJ's grade (all good friends of his).  To his good fortune, all 4 boys were able to attend.  The boys started arriving between 6 and 7 last night.  After all the boys arrived, they started playing in the basement.  One of the boys brought his IPod Touch, so he plugged it into our sound system.  They were having a great time dancing to the music.  They were also doing typical boy things like wrestling, throwing balls at each other, playing darts and playing knee hockey. 

After a short while, the boys ate the pizza (SJ was in his glory...such a treat to have pizza!) and then we sang to Bob.  He didn't want a cake.  He wanted a cookie cake from our local grocery store.  The boys had their slice of cookie cake and then Bob opened his presents.  My husband thought the boys should watch a movie, so he put on Son of Flubber. Of course, none of the boys had ever heard of it.  He kept assuring them that it was funny.  Since they are preteens, they kept acting like an old black and white movie couldn't be funny.  He started fast forwarding to the funny scenes.  SJ was laughing, but the other boys were trying hard not to laugh.  Eventually, they gave in and were laughing as much as SJ.  After that activity, they were back down in the basement.  The music was playing full blast and then they started to leap over the hockey nets.  They thought it would be a good idea to make videos of themselves doing this.  (I guess they could have been making videos of worse things.) 

Around 9 p.m., we had the boys come upstairs to watch a movie (they chose Despicable Me).  SJ was so excited.  He was offering popcorn to the boys and he would occasionally dance when the "minions" did something funny in the movie.  After that movie was over, they all got their pajamas on and got their sleeping bags ready.  We gave them a "midnight" snack (it was actually 10:30) and they selected another movie.  This time they chose Alvin and the Chipmunks the Squeakel.  A couple of the boys passed out shortly before it was over.  When it ended at 12:15 a.m., I told the boys it was time to go to sleep.  Not one of the boys who were still awake fought me and they were all out by 12:30 a.m. 

They slowly started waking up between 7:30 and 8:00.  I had my husband run out to get donuts and bacon.  While they were eating breakfast, one of the boys asked me why SJ was acting crazy during the first movie.  I told him matter-of-factly that it was because he had Autism.  I asked him if he knew what that was.  He said he did know someone with it.  He then asked me if that is why he can't have cheese (we made an exception with the pizza for the party).  I said, "Yes.  When he eats too much dairy, he has a hard time controlling himself." He said, "Okay" and then shrugged his shoulders.  I am glad he asked why SJ acts like that sometimes.  I would hate for one of Bob's friends to just think SJ is weird.

After breakfast, they had about an hour to play before their parents picked them up.  After the last one left, Bob, SJ, my husband and I were exhausted.  We were exhausted from all the fun the boys had and that is a great reason to be tired.  Happy Birthday Bob!

after school speech 9

On Thursday, SJ had his after school speech.  We were a little late, so SJ's session was not quite the normal 30 minutes.  His therapist worked on the short news briefs with him again.  They did Where, Who and When questions.  She told my husband that he did fairly well with this.  She told my husband that she would be testing him to see where his levels are at.  It may take more than one session, so she is going to wait until after Thanksgiving to begin the testing.  I always look forward to the test results.  Usually, there is improvement, so it is good to see where he is at.  She told my husband that SJ's conversation skills were improving too!  Yeah!  There is only one more session until the holiday.  SJ will be excited when he figures out that there will not be therapy on Thanksgiving Day.

parent teacher conference

This was parent-teacher conference week at our school.  I had SJ's meeting first.  I was a little nervous to go see Mr. Gold, but my worries were unwarranted.  He was full of positive remarks about SJ.  He said he had a rough start to the year (this is normal for him...transitioning to a new classroom is hard for him).  He said that in the last 6 weeks SJ has been working very well.  He is complaining less and staying on task.  He doesn't generally like to be partnered up with other students.  Mr. Gold told me that just a few days ago he once again attempted to partner him up with a fellow student.  He was expecting SJ's normal grumbling, but to his surprise SJ complied without a grumble.  He worked very nicely with the student as well.  Mr. Gold also was happy to report of SJ's social strides.  He was engaging the students more and happily playing with them at recess.  I had received SJ's report card the week before.  He had 3 A's and 3 B's.  I was satisfied with his grades, but I wasn't sure if any of his grades were adapted.  Teachers sometimes adapt grades for students like SJ, who have disorders that impede their learning abilities.  I asked Mr. Gold about this at the conference.  To my pleasant surprise, he told me that none of his grades were adapted.  I was thrilled with that!  I am not sure if it is the extra speech, the supplements, us working with him or his maturity, but he is changing for the better.  That is one conference that I will remember for a long time!

autism friendly santa

We are a little beyond this, but this is such an awesome concept that I needed to share it.  I received this flyer at work and wished this had been available for us years ago. 

There are many kids on the spectrum who are sensitive to lights, noise and long lines.  ABOARD (Advisory Board on Autism and Related Disorders) has partnered with two local malls to provide an "Autism Friendly Santa" time.  The mall will be closed to the public so that the children with autism spectrum disorders and related disorders may have the opportunity to meet Santa in a less stimulating environment.  They will dim the lights, no music will be playing and no waiting in lines.  The "Autism Friendly Santa" will be quiet (no Ho Ho Ho's) and the photographer understands that they might need to catch candid moments with Santa if a posed picture isn't possible. 

The first session is at Monroeville Mall, Monroeville Pa. 15146 on Sunday, November 13, 2011.  It will be held from 9:30 a.m.-11:30 a.m.  Photos will be taken by Cherry Hill (standard photo package rates apply).  The second session is at Ross Park Mall, Pittsburgh, Pa. 15237 on Sunday, November 20, 2011.  It will be held from 6:00 p.m.-8:00 p.m.  Photos will be taken by Noerr (standard photo package rates apply).

These events are open to all with disabilities and their siblings.  Photo packages can be purchased directly from the photographer at an additional cost.   Parents are allowed to take photos of their child with Santa when a photo is also purchased from photographer.

If you have a child with sensory issues, this is a wonderful chance to capture a special holiday moment!

picture day photos

Bob and SJ brought home their school pictures yesterday.  Bob wanted to know if he could get them retaken.  I looked at his carefully.  He had a nice smile and he was looking at the camera.  (His hair is not my favorite, but it was as good as it was going to look without getting a haircut!)  I told him his picture was fine and he didn't need to have it retaken.  SJ's picture was questionable.  He was looking off to the side (very common with kids on the spectrum) and his glasses had slid down on his face.  However, the big problem was that the picture seemed a little out of focus.  I wanted to get mad at the photographer, but I know how SJ is.  He probably was having a very difficult time sitting still.  The lights and the flash bother him.  I am not sure how many shots they took to get this photo as the end result.  My husband was out of town for the day, so I waited for him to see them this morning.  He had the same opinion that I did.  We started discussing if SJ should have it retaken.  SJ was absolutely against getting it retaken.  He kept saying "It's fine, Mom. It's fine."  When you decide to have the pictures retaken, you have to return the originals.  My big concern was that there is no guarantee that the next picture would be any better.  He agreed, so we are going to keep the original pictures.  After all, they are just school pictures.  Hopefully, he won't be too upset with this decision in future years, but we all have a picture of ourselves like this.  Maybe next year he will be a little stiller when he has it taken!

after school speech part 8

On Thursday, SJ had his weekly after school speech.  She gave me his new treatment plan.  This document contains his goals, impairments and limitations.  His new goals will help him increase his understanding and expression of spoken language, so that he can effectively engage in conversation.  He will also work on communicating his thoughts, feelings and ideas in an organized manner.
1. She will help him develop strategies to help him maintain eye contact.
2.  SJ will answer "Why" questions related to real-world situations.
3. SJ will use an organized sequence of thoughts to retell a story or 3-4 part sequence of events to answer "How" questions.  She will give his cues and prompts during his structured therapy activities.
4. SJ will identify specific names of people, places, time, and objects after given a 2-4 sentence passage.  She will use silent repetition and/or graphic/written cues during structured therapy activities.
5. SJ will gather details, through the use of graphic organizers, to formulate the main idea of a story.  She will use cues and prompts to assist him.
She would also like us to work with him at home.  She would like us to demonstrate knowledge of strategies and skills used during his therapy sessions to promote carryover at home.  We will do this by completing the homework she assigns him.   
His therapist said they again worked on the short news briefs.  He had to answer a Who, What, Where or When question.  She said that he seemed to have an easier time answering the question when she read the article to him.  She said when he read the article he seemed to struggle with answering the question.  Of course, he kept insisting that he read the questions, so he struggled through quite a few of them.  I was really glad she shared this with me.  SJ usually has to bring his reading book home on Thursdays to read his story at home. He normally has his reading comprehension test on Fridays.  SJ was "accidently" forgetting to bring his book home on Thursdays.  I asked SJ's teacher to give me a copy of his book to keep here.  This way there will not be any more cases of his forgetting to bring the book home on Thursdays.  Since we have the book here, I told my husband that one of us could read the story to him on Wednesdays.  Then, he could read it to us on Thursday.  I am hoping that this technique will help SJ comprehend the story more easily.  We will try this for the next few weeks and I am so hoping for positive results

trick or treat for me and one for my brudder

Monday night was our trick-or-treat night.  SJ was so excited.  He loves everything about Halloween, but this is probably what he loves the most!  He couldn't wait to get on his Waluigi costume.  I told him to wait until after dinner to put it on.  He gobbled up his food so fast and then he ran upstairs to get changed.  A yearly tradition in our house is to take pictures of the boys on the front porch in front of their pumpkins.  SJ gladly posed in front of his Luigi inspired pumpkin.  Eventhough Bob wasn't feeling 100%, I still had him put on his costume (a $5 sheet from Wal-mart, which he cut out two eye holes...he was "classic ghost".)  He did agree to pose for pictures with SJ, but asked if he could skip trick-or-treating and stay at home.  I assumed that our one neighbor boy would want to trick-or-treat with the boys and I was correct.  He ended up trick-or-treating with SJ.  My husband took the two boys around, while Bob and I stayed at home to pass out the candy.  We had also turned our basement into a "Haunted Basement".  (To view our Haunted Basement, click on this link:  http://youtu.be/qz9xKnIkVuI)  Bob was in charge of taking the trick-or-treaters through the basement.
Meanwhile, SJ and the neighbor boy were going from house to house.  If they didn't answer the doors immediately, SJ and the boy would knock on the doors very loudly.  They would yell "Trick-or-Treat".  SJ would then ask each neighbor for a piece of candy for his sick "brudder".  When my husband told me that SJ was doing that, it just touched my heart.  It was so sweet that SJ would think to ask for treats for his brother.  He did this without any prompting or cues from my husband.  He did it all on his own.  It is such a great feeling to see a child, who 4 years ago wouldn't even look into a non-family member's eyes, exhibit such a loving act. 
So for those of you who are just beginning to experience what Autism is, take heart in the fact that it can get better.  It can get easier.  It can even sometimes appear to be invisible.  SJ is living proof of that!

halloween celebrating at school

Bob and SJ's school had their Halloween celebration on Friday.  I was a party parent for SJ's room with another student's mom.  We had small pumpkins for them to decorate and Ghost Bowling for them to play.  She had arrived a little earlier than I and gratefully had most of them in their costumes.  We passed out the pumpkins for them to begin decorating.  A few minutes later, other classrooms began parading through SJ's room (including Bob's).  Bob was dressed up a "classic ghost", which is just a white sheet with holes for his eyes thrown over his head.  SJ was dressed up as Waluigi (from the Mario Bros. series).  SJ's class tagged on to another 4th grade class and joined the parade. 

While the kids were parading, the other mother and I busied ourselves with passing out their Halloween treats.  They arrived back in the room a few minutes later.  Some kids were eating, some were decorating the pumpkins, some were just socializing and some were playing the Ghost Bowling. 

What was so amazing to me was that SJ proceeded to introduce me to each and every classmate.  He also told them what my Halloween costume was going to be (Velma Dinkley).  SJ has made such strides socially in the last year.  I am not sure if it is from the extra speech therapy or that he is simply maturing.  Whatever it is, I will take it!  I thoroughly enjoyed seeing all the kids in their costumes and having fun, but I really enjoyed seeing SJ blend in with the rest of his typical classmates!

after school speech part 7

On Thursday, my husband took SJ to his after school speech.  His therapist was focusing on answering What, Where, Who and When questions.  She would have SJ read a very short news report.  Then, she would have him answer the question.

For example:  New Coffee Shop Opens
                  The Coffee Pot is now open on Main Street.  They have great coffee.
                  "Just don't ask for food," says owner Lola Mibbs.  "If you want food, don't come here.  We only sell coffee.  I'm not kidding!"
                  WHAT is not for sale at The Coffee Pot?

After SJ answered the question, he was able to add a touch to his jack-o-lantern cutout (huge reward for him since he loves Halloween!).  She told my husband that he did okay with this activity.  This is an area of struggle for him, so that was to be expected.  I liked that the news reports were short (long reading tasks are very stressful for SJ) and that he got to complete a part of the jack-o-lantern with each answer.  His therapist is doing such a nice job with him.  My husband told her how grateful we are that she is making such progress with SJ. 

After speech, SJ had his McDonald's and went out costume shopping with my husband.  SJ was set, but Daddy needed some help.  They came home with some Halloween treats, a Shaggy costume for my husband and a very happy SJ!

day at the pumpkin farm

Bob had a soccer game today.  We don't always take SJ to the away games.  They are kind of far away and the coach needs them to be there 45 minutes early.  There isn't much for SJ to do, so my husband and I have been taking turns staying home with SJ.  It was my turn to stay home with SJ, so I took him to Renshaw Farms.  This is a local farm that is about 15 miles from our house. 

We needed to get a bunch of mini pumpkins for SJ's Halloween party at school.  I am one of the party moms for his class.  We are going to have the kids decorate the mini pumpkins as a craft.  SJ had to select 19 mini pumpkins.  They had a nice selection and they were very reasonably priced (3 for $1).  After we paid for the mini pumpkins, we walked them to our car. 

We walked back and SJ posed in most of the photo cutout displays.  He said some of them were for "little" kids, so he skipped them.  Then, he discovered the hay bale climbing area.  He climbed all the way to top and yelled "I am king of the world!"  Sometimes, he is so funny!   There was a pond that had a bridge walkway.  He went out on it several times.  He really seemed to enjoy that, but he was making me a little nervous.  I was afraid he was going to fall into the pond.

After he was done with the pond and play area, we bought a wristband that got us a hayride, admittance into the hay maze and petting zoo.  We did the hay maze first.  He LOVED it!  He kept running down the paths saying "I hope this is not a trap!"  We finally made it out of the maze after a few minutes.  We went to look at the animals in the petting zoo.  They had pigs, mules, mini horses, cows and rabbits.  Every once in a while, SJ would say that something smelled bad.  I looked at him and said, "Of course it smells, we are on a farm." 

When we finished looking at the animals, we got on the hayride.  The tractor took us out to the pumpkin field.  They still had plenty of pumpkins.  I had SJ pick out a pumpkin for himself and Bob.  While we were waiting for the tractor to take us back, SJ was posing for more pictures.  He would stop and put one foot up on the pumpkin.  It was as if he discovered something amazing.  The pumpkins he picked were fairly heavy, but I was able to tote them back to pay for them.  I thought the farm staff would weigh them, but they eyeballed them for size.  SJ had selected two $6 pumpkins (another bargain!).

Finally, we went into the building to play a few games.  They had a duck pond game and spin art.  SJ did both.  He got some cute Halloween toys and made a beautiful spin art picture.  As we were walking back to our car, I was a little sad that Bob couldn't be there.  It was a lovely way to spend an autumn day!

after school speech part 6

On Thursday, SJ was back at speech again.  His therapist told me she was going to be setting new goals for SJ.  She wanted to know if I had anything specific that he needed to work on.  I asked her if I could think about it and let her know next week.  She said that was fine and took SJ back.  While SJ was at his appointment, I ran to get his McDonald's.  As I was sitting in the drive through line, I realized I should have told her to work on his reading comprehension.  I know she is not a reading specialist, but I thought she could have him read a paragraph or two.  After he reads them to her, she could ask him a few questions about the content.  Plus, I thought she could work on his "mumbling" while he reads.  He does that when he doesn't want to read.  He also sometimes sounds robotic when he reads.  I thought she could maybe work that into his goals.  When I returned to pick him up, I told her about those suggestions.  She said she would try to work them in.  She then told me about the work he had done in his appointment.  They worked on Sequencing.  She said he did fairly well, but he had some difficulty with some of the situations.  He would know how they would begin and end, but may forget some middle steps.  For example:  Tell me how you make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.  He knew there was peanut butter and jelly on the bread, but he neglected to say you need to use a knife to spread it.  She showed him a paper that had sequencing cue words.  They were First, Then, Next and Last.  After she told him to use the cue words, he did a little better.  She complimented him on his conversation skills, which is always nice to hear.  Overall, it was a good session. 

a conversation with a typical kid

Yesterday morning, SJ approached a six grader.  He has known this boy for many years, but he doesn't generally talk to him.  He walked up to him and started this conversation.

SJ:  Hey, Brian.  How is Mr. Black? (Brian's teacher)
Brian:  He is good.  How is Mr. Gold? (SJ's teacher)
SJ:  He is good.  This is what we are going to do today, Brian.  I have Book Fair, Language Arts, Lunch, Math, Recess and Special.  What is going on in Mr. Black's class today?
Brian:  I don't know, SJ. 
SJ:  Are you playing basketball again Brian?
Brian:  Yes, I am.  Are you playing basketball SJ?
SJ:  No.  (Then, he looked at me.) Sorry, sorry, sorry.  I meant to say yes.  I am playing basketball.  (This is still up for discussion, but he thinks he is playing.)
Brian:  Do you like basketball?
SJ:  Yes, Brian.  I do.  I do like basketball.

I asked Brian to tell SJ how he feels when he does well at basketball and how he feels when his team loses.  (Brian did and their conversation continued for another minute or so.)  This is a big problem for SJ.  The last time he played basketball he would get infuriated when the other team scored.  He would cry and yell.  That is why we are still discussing whether he will play basketball or not. Whether SJ plays basketball or not, I am glad that he is still trying to fit into the typical world.  It is nice to know there are typical kids out there who are patient and accepting of kids with PDD.  Thanks Brian!  You made my day!

it's time to bowl!

Last year, SJ joined a bowling league at Funfest.  It is great!  For $8, you get 3 games of bowling and rental shoes.  They pair you up with other kids.  Sometimes SJ bowls with the same kids and sometimes he bowls by himself.  Every time you get a strike or spare, you get a token.  The tokens are for the arcade that is in the same building.  SJ has a great time bowling.  The league runs several times a year, but SJ skips the summer session (it would take away from his swimming time!).  He started bowling again a few weeks ago.  He is partnered with a second grade kid.  SJ still uses the bumpers, but he tends to score anywhere from 85-105.  (That is better than me!)  SJ prefers to go with my husband.  I tried to offer to take him the last two weeks.  He said, "No thanks, Mom.  I will go with Dad."  After he bowls his games, they head over to the arcade and play some games.  Then, they usually go to the "Circle Store" (Target) and go to McDonald's for lunch.  This has become a Saturday routine for SJ.  Even though I am slightly jealous that he doesn't want me to go, it is sweet that my husband and SJ get to spend this special time together.  As a bonus, I get to spend some time with Bob or get some stuff done around the house.  I am glad that SJ has found something that is somewhat like a sport that gives him routine, a little exercise and a lot of socialization!

say cheese!

SJ and Bob had school pictures today.  I knew this was going to be a trying morning, so I gave the boys the option of choosing their shirts the night before.  The rule in our house is that the boys have to wear a collared shirt for pictures.  (It is really my husband's rule.  I think kids should like they look on a regular day.  This is where we differ.  He feels they look sloppy in t-shirts and he wants them to look nice.  It is very important to my husband, so I support his decision on the type of shirt they wear for pictures.)  Bob had picked out his Shawn White button down collared shirt.  SJ was very resistant to select his shirt.  I pulled out four "golf" or Polo shirts out of his closet.  When they woke up, SJ was very crabby and didn't want to wear any of the shirts I had pulled out.  My husband went into his room and was calmly helping SJ decide which one to wear.  Bob was also crabby about wearing the shirt he had selected.  He wanted to shove it in his backpack and only put it on for his picture.  I told him, "Daddy will have a fit if he sees you put that shirt in your backpack."  He shrugged me off and as I predicted my husband was not happy that Bob wasn't wearing the shirt.  I told him Bob's plan and he firmly told Bob to put on the collared shirt.  SJ came downstairs a few minutes later with his yellow Polo shirt on.  When I picked them up at school at the end of the day, I asked the boys how the pictures went.  Bob said the photographer made him smile big (which he hates he added).  SJ said, "It was great, Mom."  We will see how great these photos are when I get them in a few weeks.  I am just hoping for some kind of smile on both boys and that Bob's hair (very Justin Bieberish) isn't in his eyes.  Here's hoping!

after school speech part 5

On Thursday, SJ had his speech session.  It was a fairly warm day, so SJ wasn't so thrilled to be going to speech.  We went home for a few minutes and then dropped off Bob's at a neighbor's house.  After about five minutes of complaining, SJ settled down and just started talking to me.  This is my favorite part of the after school speech.  Since the DS's are broken and no one has an IPod (yet!), they are more inclined to talk to me.  If Bob is in the car, SJ tends to talk to him.  I have come to treasure our alone time in the car.  He doesn't talk about anything significant, but the fact that he is conversing (instead of repeating dialogue from something he has watched) is mind-blowing to me.  He tells me about his special (art, gym, etc.).  He tells me about his teacher or classmates.  He tells me about recess.
Now if you are the parent of a typical child, you probably think "What is the big deal?"   But to the mother of child with PDD (or Asperger's or Autism), this is something that isn't a natural occurrence in your child's development.  I would have killed for this simple act a few years ago.  To get him to say anything was such a chore and now it is coming out of him so easily.  We had to practice, practice, practice!  If you are a parent of a child on the spectrum, keep at it.  Keep chipping away at the bubble that holds them in the Autism world.  Hopefully, you will be having one of these moments with your child.
When we got to the therapy place, there was a young child there.  SJ asked his mom what his name was.  She told him and then he replied, "I'm SJ."  The boy was much younger than SJ, so they both independently played.  Then, a sibling came in who is Bob's age.  SJ walked right up to him and said, "Sorry, Bob is not here today."  The kid replied, "That is okay."  Then SJ started to ask him some questions about the DS game that he was playing.  The kid kindly replied.  This went on until his therapist came out for him.  It made me so proud to see SJ trying to interact with both of these children.  Sure, he talked slowly and the words didn't naturally seem to fall from his lips.  It was still nice to see that he keeps trying to be social.
SJ had a good session with his therapist.  They again worked on making and explaining inferences.  She had him look at a picture of a situation.  There were some questions under the picture.  SJ did well with the "What" questions, but again had some trouble with the "How" questions.  His therapist had to prompt him a few times, but eventually he was able to answer the questions.  "How" questions are hard for SJ, since they are much more abstract.  He tends to do better when the solution would be more concrete.  Even though he had some difficulty, she felt he did well.  We will keep practicing the "How" questions at home and hopefully he will require less prompts. 

captain SJpants

SJ always has had trouble with comprehension.  We received his PSSA results from last year.  It was not surprising to us, but we are trying to find ways to help SJ comprehend more easily.  My husband had the idea of taking turns reading books with him each night.  The problem is we need to find books that he is interested in.  SJ loves the Sunday comics and comic books, so my husband asked Bob if we some books like that in our library.  Bob brought out a superhero book and a Captain Underpants book.  SJ said he would like to read the Captain Underpants book.  So for the last week, my husband and SJ have been taking turns reading from this book. 
When SJ got home from his bowling league yesterday, he ran upstairs.  I thought he was going to get his plushies or put on his Halloween costume.  To my surprise, he came downstairs in only a Superman cape and his underwear.  He was so proud of himself.  It was funny, but since he is 9 I told him he needed to put on clothes.  He looked so sad as he walked up the stairs.  I said, "Well, you can show Daddy before you get dressed."  He immediately smiled and ran into the living room.  "Nice Captain Underpants," said my husband.  "Now, go get dressed," he told SJ.  SJ happily ran upstairs to get dressed. 
I walked into the living room and told my husband that I felt bad that I couldn't let him stay in that outfit.  He is 9, however, and he needs to act appropriately.  It was nice to see him get something out of the reading practice.  Hopefully, he will continue to read and stay clothed!

the autism monster is sighted!

Yesterday, I decided to put away SJ's tank tops.  He loves them, but considering it is October it is time for them to be put away.  I made sure that I did this while SJ was at his bowling league.  When it was time to get dressed this morning, I heard the toe curling screaming coming from upstairs.  I wasn't 100% sure it was due to the disappearance of the tank tops, but I had a pretty good idea.  "Where are my tank tops?" yelled SJ.  "I have no tops to wear!" he added.  Now, I left about 15 short sleeve t-shirts in his drawer.  Plus, there is numerous short sleeve and long sleeve shirts in his closet.  After 10 minutes of crying and screaming, my husband went upstairs to try to talk to him.  He tried to pretend to wrestle with him.  He tried to get him to laugh, but there was nothing at that moment that was going to get SJ to be happy (except maybe a tank top).  He told him he had 5 minutes to get dressed in some kind of shirt or he was taking 5 plushies.  SJ didn't care.  He continued to yell about the disappearance of his tank tops.  "Why did you give them away, Mom?" he sobbed.  "I didn't give them away.  I put them away for next year," I told him.  After his 5 minute chance was over, my husband told him to go stand in the corner.  SJ did, but he continued to cry.  When his time out was over, I heard my husband ask him what season it is.  SJ answered correctly, so my husband told him that we only wear tank tops in spring and summer.  Eventually, he calmed down and put on a short sleeve soccer shirt.  (He did have to change his shorts to monochromatically match his shirt selection.)  The Autism Monster went back under the bed or in his closet.  Hopefully, he will stay there for a long time.  My guess though is he will reappear when the shorts have to be put away!

after school speech part 4

On Thursday, SJ again had speech therapy.  My friend wasn't able to watch Bob, so I had decided to go straight there from school.  I thought we would have plenty of time to stop for dinner before his therapy session started.  The boys had other plans apparently.  We were a few minutes into our drive when SJ and Bob started complaining about how thirsty they were.  They were moaning and complaining as if they were in the middle of a desert.  I turned down a road that leads to our house.  I told them when we got home they had 2 minutes to get a drink.  (Selfishly, I had to use the restroom, so it was a necessary detour for me too.)  After their drinks and my bathroom break, we were back in the car en route to speech therapy. 

Due to the detour, I was rushing to get there on time.  Fortunately, we made it with about 10 minutes to spare.  I decided to get SJ his Happy Meal.  He is a very quick eater (like me), so I knew he would be done before his session started.  When I pulled up to the window to order, SJ asked if he could place his order.  I pulled up so that the order window was close to his passenger window.  "Hamburger Happy Meal, no pickle, with a Hi-C Orange.  And, a large fry for my brudder."  Too funny! 

When his speech therapy session was done, she said he had done very well.  They worked on Cause and Effect.  She said he completed the worksheet easily.  She also said he was able to hold a conversation up to six turns.  That is huge progress for him!  I had tried to work on some of the "How" scenarios (his speech homework) with him this week.  She said he had showed some improvement with that task too.  Besides the small detour, it was another successful speech day!

do you really want me to read 12 pages?

SJ usually doesn't have much homework.  His teacher allots plenty of time during the day for the students to complete it.  Occasionally, he brings home his reading book.  He is to read the story out loud to us.  SJ hates reading.  He has a lot of trouble with comprehension.  He misses many of the details of the story (an unfortunate problem for many children with PDD).  Last year, we let him take turns with us reading pages.  We decided this year that he can read all of the pages himself.  When I went through his backpack, he neglected to bring home his reading book.  It wouldn't have been such a big deal, but he needed to complete one page from his grammar workbook.  You needed the story to answer the questions.  If he was a typical student, he may have remembered the details from the story and would have been able to answer them without the book.  SJ is not a typical student, so I started to panic.  I tried to find the book on our school's website, but it wasn't there.  I tried to find it directly on the publisher's site.  There were some books, but not the series that our school uses.  I decided to drive back to school in the hopes that someone was still there.  Fortunately for me, there was tutoring after school.  I was able to borrow the book from another 4th grade teacher.  SJ was on the trampoline when I pulled into our driveway.  I showed him the book and he started to flip out.  He got off the trampoline and began to demand that I take the book back.  I told him I wasn't taking it back and we needed to complete his work.  He was crying so hard when he came in the house.  I sat down in the dining room with him to begin his reading.  He kept yelling that he could not read 12 pages "all by himself".  "I need to read it with a parent," he yelled.  I told him that I was there and he could read it to me.  After 20 minutes, we had only gotten through 2 pages.  My husband came and sat with us.  He joked with SJ telling him that he wasn't going to die from reading a few pages.  "It is not a few.  It is 12," yelled SJ.  My husband showed him a book that he had recently read.  He showed him how many pages it had (about 400) and he didn't cry when he read it.  He told SJ that they would focus on one word at a time.  He told SJ not to worry about how many pages there were in the story.  He kept telling him that he wanted to hear what interesting things were going to happen.  After 45 more minutes, SJ finally finished the story and the questions.  My husband said, "See you read 12 pages on your own and you are fine."  I know we are going to have many more days like this one, but hopefully the crying periods will get much shorter.  I would be fine with that.

after school speech part 3

On Thursday, SJ had his afterschool speech session.  We went home for a few minutes before we made the drive to the therapy center.  He seemed to enjoy having the small break at home, so he could have a snack and grab some plushies for the drive out.  He was in a great mood when his therapist greeted him in the lobby.  They were working on Cause and Effect.  The therapist began by showing SJ pictures that gave him a situation, such as a mom giving her kid a new toy.  He had to choose between a sad kid and a happy kid.  He did very well with this exercise.  Next, she had him do a worksheet that used words and pictures.  The first sentence was "Grandma forgot to water her plants."  Underneath the sentence were two pictures.  There was a picture of healthy plants and one of dead plants.  He had to circle what would happen when Grandma didn't water her plants.  He did very well with this exercise too.  The third worksheet he did gave a picture and then asked a question.  There was a picture of a boy adding chocolate powder to a glass of milk.  He had to verbalize what effect that would have.  Again, he did well with this exercise.  The last of the Cause and Effect worksheets was more difficult for him.  This worksheet gave the ending effect and SJ had to decide what the cause would be.  There were no picture cues to assist him.  The first one was Tara opened the refrigerator door.  “Ick!  Something sure smells,” she thought.  “Dad must have forgotten to clean out all the leftovers from last week."  It had a blank cause section and it said the effect was that something in the refrigerator smelled bad.  SJ had trouble deciding that Dad should have cleaned out the refrigerator.  His therapist needed to prompt him to look at the sentence to deduce the cause.  Since he had trouble with this exercise, we are to practice this for homework.  On a different positive note, she told me that SJ was chatting away with his old Occupational Therapist while he was waiting for me to pick him up.  He hasn't been her patient in a few years, but it was nice to hear that he was comfortable conversing with her.  I am glad that he had a good session!

is it too early to wear your halloween costume, even if it is September?

After speech last week, we stopped at Target.  After SJ decided on his toy purchase, he had an immediate need to look at the Halloween costumes.  He LOVES Halloween (I do too, so I guess he gets that from me!)!  He started to look through the racks of kid's costumes.  He found some Mario Bros. costumes.  He started to decide between Mario, Toad or Waluigi.  I told him we had to see which one came in his size first.  Obviously if the costumes were too small, that costume would be eliminated.  They didn't have a Mario in his size, but they did have Toad and Waluigi.  He chose Waluigi.  I know it is early to buy a Halloween costume, but I learned my lesson from last year.  Last year, I waited until 2 weeks before Halloween to look for costumes and his size was hard to find.  He was so excited over the new costume!  It was $20, which was not a bad price for a costume.  He wanted to open it in car, but I told him to not put it on until we got home.  He did, however, where the hat that came with it on the ride home.  I kept laughing to myself as I saw his reflection in the rear view mirror.  As soon as we pulled in the garage, he ran upstairs to his room to put it on.  Thank goodness, it fit.  His smile was so big!  He was so happy.  Every day last week, he wore that costume in the house.  I told him he couldn't wear it outside.  I am afraid it will get ruined before he gets to wear it to school for their Halloween party.  So I calculated how much it is costing me per wear so far.  It is about $3 a wear as of this week.  By the time Halloween rolls around, it will probably by about $0.25 a wear.  Maybe it is too early to wear your Halloween costume, but seeing his happy face makes all that logic go right out the window!

is it worth ALL of my allowance money?

After speech on Thursday, we stopped at "The Circle Store" (or Target).  I had a few things to get and SJ wanted to use some of his allowance money.  SJ never really wants anything.  I am not exaggerating.  When we see something we think he will like, we will ask him if he wants to get it.  He usually responds with "I don't know" or "Maybe next time".  He is so hard to buy for!  Recently, he has shown an interest in the K'NEX Mario track system.  He was looking at a set that was $24.99, but then Bob saw a bigger set that was $49.99.  It had two motorized carts (one for Mario and one for Luigi), lots of track and some obstacles.  Bob kept telling SJ that it was the "best value" (something my mom always is saying...she is a bargain shopper).  SJ kept looking at it, but was unsure if he wanted to use all of his money.  He walked away a few times, but he kept coming back to look at it.  After 20 minutes of this back and forth dance, he finally decided to get it.  As soon as we got home, the two of them started building it.  Within 30 minutes, I could hear the carts running.  I could also hear the sweet sound of my boys laughing and playing like brothers.  I would say it was definitely worth it!

after school speech part 2

SJ had "outside" speech after school today.  I am happy to report that there was minimal complaining about going.  He did say that he wished it was on Fridays.  After I told him that wasn't possible, he really didn't complain again.  We stopped at McDonald's for his regular order (hamburger Happy Meal, no pickle, with a Hi-C orange).  Bob only wanted water, which was fine with me.  We arrived at speech a few minutes early, so SJ ate his food in the car before he went in.  When his therapist came out, I told her he was in a better mood and he quietly walked back with her.  After his appointment was over, she told me that he had a very good session.  They continued to go over synonyms.  She said he did very well with that activity.  They also went over a worksheet that was on inferring feelings.  There were three statements and SJ had to decide what feeling matched up with the statement.

For example:   _________You can sit with me.                                        a. shy
                       _________Quit spraying me with water!                             b. nice
                       _________I don't want to sing in front of the family.     c. annoyed

She said he was able to match up the correct feelings with the statements easily.  I was pretty impressed with that.  She said he did struggle to orally describe what some of the feelings were.  He had trouble with annoyed, nervous, guilty, embarrassed, frustrated, alarmed, puzzled and moody.  She assigned us to go over these feelings and have SJ try to remember a time when he experienced these feelings.  Annoyed and frustrated should be easy, but moody, alarmed and puzzled will be a little more challenging. 

I am glad that SJ was not as agitated about going to speech again this week.  It makes everyone's job a little easier when he accepts something that is frustrating to him.  I guess I have one feeling example out of the way!

are you ready for a rumble?

The more typical SJ becomes the more "boy like" behavior I am seeing.  It especially comes out when he spends time with Bob.  Bob is a typical older brother.  He likes to tease SJ.  When SJ was more stuck in the autism world, he didn't seem to care what Bob was saying.  Now that he is in our world more than his parallel autism world he is much more aware of what Bob is saying.  Bob will take his things or tell him things that are not true.  He does all of this to get a reaction out of SJ.  Bob is just doing what all brothers do, so it is hard for me to constantly be on him for this.  If a reaction is what Bob wants, that is exactly what he is getting now.  
Two days ago, Bob was teasing him about a video game that they were playing.  SJ couldn't take it anymore, so they began to fight at the top of our stairs.  SJ is fairly strong and the boys are practically the same size.  (SJ is actually a little taller and slightly heavier.)  SJ pushed Bob into our banister and then Bob pushed SJ into our linen closet door.  We broke up the fight and sent each of them to their rooms.  I was so upset about this fight, but my husband assured me that this is "normal" boy behavior.  We had a talk with them and told them neither one of them should be touching each other in anger. 
We had another incident yesterday.  They were jumping on the trampoline and Bob threw SJ's Crocs on the trampoline.  Why would this bother, SJ?  Who knows!  He started yelling at Bob to take his Crocs off of the trampoline.  Bob wouldn't.  He kept saying he wanted to see how high they would bounce.  Well, SJ was so mad he couldn't see straight.  He pushed Bob off the trampoline and he hit his nose on the metal frame.  Bob came into the house crying and Mom and Dad referee had to step in.  We sent SJ to his room and checked out Bob's nose.  It wasn't swollen or red.  We told him to put some ice on it, but he refused.  He is very stubborn!  (He gets this from me and my father)  We told him SJ shouldn't have hurt him, but he shouldn't be touching his stuff.  When SJ was allowed to come out of his room, we had a talk with him about why it is not acceptable to hit someone just because they touched his things.  He has a quick temper and we are trying to find strategies to help him defuse his temper.  (A trait passed onto to SJ from my husband's mother.) 
I will say that the nice thing about brothers is they move on quickly after the fight is over.  Maybe an hour after the trampoline rumble, they were outside tossing a ball back and forth.  I would much rather play referee for two "typical" acting boys then watch my two sons play in two different worlds.

i am not going to speech today!!!!

After school, SJ had his first "outside" speech appointment today.  Outside speech is the same speech that we attend in the summer.  SJ has "inside" speech at school.  It was a beautiful day and there were tons of kids outside playing.  I dropped off Bob at a neighbor's house.  As we drove away, SJ burst into tears.  He started telling me to turn around.  He wanted to go home for "just a couple of minutes".  I knew if we went home A.  We would be late and B. He wouldn't want to get back in the car.  I continued to drive to the speech place while SJ continued to cry and yell.  SJ was yelling that it was not fair.  He didn't want to have speech twice in the same day.  I asked him if he saw his speech therapist at school today and he just replied that he did not know.  I kept trying to calm him down while we were headed to speech.  He was having none of it.  When we arrived, he didn't want to get out of the car.  He said, "I am not going in.  It is not fair.  No speech on Thursdays.  Cancel it, Mom.  Please cancel it."  I told him to dry his eyes and we were going in.  After a moment or so, SJ got out of the car.  We entered the building and SJ hid under a chair.  Fortunately, no one else was in the waiting room.  Otherwise, I would have been extremely embarrassed.  His therapist came out and he said to her, "I don't like speech on Thursdays!"  She told him they had a little work to do and then they would play a game.  I told her sorry.  She smiled at me and said it was okay.  Thirty minutes later, he came out in a totally different disposition.  He was no longer sad.  In fact, he was quite happy.  I unlocked the car so that he could get in.  She told me that he settled down after a few minutes.  They worked on synonyms.  He did very well on that and she seemed pleased.  They also worked on sequencing. He did fairly well describing what happened when he was shown visuals.  He had some trouble when he had to describe what was happening when the middle step was eliminated.  She gave us a worksheet on this, which will be his homework.  I spoke to his school speech therapist today and sure enough he did have "inside" speech Thursday morning.  She said he did fine with her that morning.  I told her this story and she said she couldn't switch days.  I will just tell SJ that he will get both speech sessions out of the way in one day.  Maybe that will satisfy him?  Hopefully, it will.

samurai sj

On Monday, it was Labor Day.  We didn't have school and we didn't have any plans.  I was looking forward to a do nothing day, except for some minor housework.  We did our normal breakfast thing (pancakes) and I was deciding what chore I was going to tackle first.  Then, I heard small feet running down the stairs.  It was SJ.  He ran into the kitchen in his samurai costume.  He was practicing some kicks and yelling "high ya".  He had on a red bandana wrapped around his forehead and a white karate uniform.  We have several friends who kids practice Tae Kwon Do.  He appeared to be doing his version of his friends' exercises.  I tried not to laugh as he was in the zone.  Then, he set up his plushies as if they were his students.  He began to "instruct" his students.  It was quite a show to watch.  He wore that costume most of the day.  I didn't mind, since we weren't leaving the house.  My parents came over for dinner and he was still wearing the costume at dinner.  My parents are so used to SJ and his costumes that they didn't even react to it.  It was some comic relief to an otherwise boring day!

Labor Day weekend...lots of fun and parties

We had a lot going on this Labor Day weekend.  The boys were invited to swim in a neighbor's pool (lots of fun for both SJ and Bob) and we attended a few parties.  On Sunday, we went over my mom's house to visit with my out of town relatives.  My aunt's youngest son, Scooter, is only a few years older than the boys.  We went over to spend some time with him, his brother and my aunt and uncle before heading to the first Labor Day party.  The boys really enjoy spending time with my cousins.  After a couple of hours, we went over to Isaac's house (his mom is my cousin) for the party.  My aunt was having a surprise party for her youngest son at Isaac's house.  The boys enjoyed being in on the surprise; however Scooter didn't seem too surprised when he got there.  The boys were having a great time playing hide and seek and video games with Scooter and Isaac.  After dinner, we all sung to Scooter.  In the past, singing to the birthday person can be problematic for SJ.  He will scream at people to "shut up" or to "be quiet", since he is very sensitive to the loudness of the singing.  We have had to "whisper sing", which is usually enough to not upset SJ.  Surprisingly, he didn't yell.  He did plug his ears with his fingers, but sang along with everyone else.  Great progress for SJ!  The boys got their treat bags from Scooter and continued to play with him and Isaac until it was time to go.
We had a second picnic to go to in our neighborhood.  It had started to rain.  SJ didn't want to walk up to our neighbor's house in the rain, but I told him to put on his rain jacket.  We got our dessert and walked up to the neighbor's house.  There were a lot of people there and there was a band.  I thought the live band would bother SJ's ears.  He surprised me once again!  He was sitting in the garage with his ears plugged.  He was smiling and dancing in his chair.  That is what is so puzzling about Autism.  Sometimes, I think SJ will be extremely agitated in a situation.  Then, he is completely fine.  Other times, he is bothered over the smallest of things.  I am glad that this day he surprised me in a good way! 

one more pool day before Labor Day

Yesterday, it was very hot and very humid where we live.  This weather is only welcome when you want to hang out at the pool.  All four of us went to our local pool yesterday afternoon.  The water was perfect!  It was just cool enough to be refreshing.  There weren't too many people there, but enough of SJ and Bob's friends to keep them occupied.  My husband got right in with the boys.  They loved this.  They were "attacking" their dad in the water.  I eventually got in the water too.  Since it was possibly the last day, I even got my hair wet (this was a BIG deal to the boys!).  SJ spent most of his time in the pool.  Bob bounced between the pool and playing in the park with friends.  SJ decided to join Bob and the kids for "kickboard baseball".  They use kickboards for bases and the bat.  It was going okay for a while, but then SJ started to get upset over being out.  My husband and I saw him crying, so he went to see what was happening.  Bob was trying to pull SJ off of a base (since he was out) and SJ was yelling he was safe (he wasn't).  My husband talked to SJ and he seemed to calm down after a few minutes.  SJ decided to leave the boys and continue swimming.  I asked my husband what happened and he told me Bob was embarrassed by SJ's behavior.  Fortunately, the other boys didn't seem to notice or care.  I know it is hard for Bob sometimes to have a brother on the spectrum.  We try to reassure him that even if SJ was typical he would still do things to embarrass him.  I remind myself that Bob is just a kid and it is hard position for him to be in.  As he gets older, I hope that he will appreciate what SJ has to offer and forget the negative traits that he possesses.  Other than the small meltdown during the kickboard baseball game, the day was lovely.  Bob joined us in the pool for the remainder of our time there.  They were playing together in the water even after my husband and I had gotten out.  Tantrum aside, it was a great family summer day!