a very chatty SJ

Yesterday, we went to the pool.  SJ was in a very chatty mood.  He had just gotten some new goggles the day before and was very excited about them.  He was asking every person that he knows if they liked his new goggles.  Then, he was showing some of his friends and their parents that he learned how to do a back flip in the water.  He would ask the kids if they could do a back flip.  He would then do one if they weren't sure what he was talking about.  After we were at the pool for about an hour, my friend pointed out that SJ was playing in the water with much older kids.  I don't have a problem with this.  However, I didn't know the kids and weren't sure if they even wanted a little kid playing with them.  After a little observation time, I saw that the kids were including SJ.  He was hanging on the one teenager's back and was helping them play "sharks".  He played with them for about 10 minutes and then swam over to the side where I was sitting.  He was talking to me about the game he was playing.  One of the big kids was a shark and they were "attacking" the shark.  Then out of nowhere, SJ said to me, "Mom, I'll be right back.  I have to go help the guys."  I don't know what he ate today for breakfast (actually I do...pancakes as usual), but he was a social butterfly today.  More pancakes for SJ, please!

summer speech therapy part 3

SJ had another speech therapy session yesterday.  We are in a rotation of different speech therapists each week.  So far, no reaction from SJ and they all have seemed very good.  When today's therapist came out to talk to me, she told me that SJ had a good session.  They worked on synonyms and antonyms in a crossword puzzle exercise.  She said he did very well, but there was a word bank for him to use.  He always does well when he has a word bank.  His second exercise didn't utilize a word bank, so he didn't do as well.  The therapist assisted him with some phonemic cues, which guided him to realize the correct answer.  The last exercise was making predictions.  SJ has a lot of trouble with predictions.  She needed to give him many prompts and assigned that exercise as homework.  I think many kids on the spectrum have difficulty making predictions.  I used to think maybe he didn't have an active imagination, so that is why he couldn't make predictions.  However, the older he gets, I realize that isn't the correct assumption.  I believe his thought process is so solidified in the concrete that he sometimes can't see into the unknown.  I am hoping with practice and maturity he won't be so literal.  I am hoping that his thought process can blossom and see all the options the world has to offer.

sj gets a trim...no social story needed

SJ got his hair cut today.  This is something that most moms may think is a mostly fuss-free event.  Until just 4 years ago, this was anything but fuss-free for us.  SJ used to flip out when we took him to get his haircut.  He has had to sit on my lap or his TSS's lap.  He has screamed and squirmed.  He didn't like the clippers (for the noise) and he didn't like the scissors (for the sensation of his hair being cut).  We used to have to promise him the world to get his hair cut.  We would leave with a ragged, crooked haircut.  The poor hairdresser would be so apologetic, but it was never her fault.  He couldn't sit still.  Eventually, I created a social story that showed him step-by-step what would happen at the hair salon.  The salon staff was so kind to let me come in and take pictures.  I used these pictures to make up his social story.  We would read him the story right before getting his haircut.  Now, years later he sits like any other kid.  We walked in and he told the stylist his name.  He even gave her these instructions, "Take a couple chops off the back, make it straight in the front and clean it up around the ears."  I had to laugh a little when she smiled and looked at me.  I said, "Just give him a clean boy's haircut with scissors."  As I was sitting there waiting, I watched him squirm a little.  She kept reminding him to sit up and he did.  I didn't have to explain to her that he has PDD.  He has gotten to the point where I don't have to tell every stranger that comes into contact with him what his diagnosis is.  Sometimes when you have a child on the spectrum, they struggle with the simplest of things.  When you are in the weeds, you never think it is going to get easier.  Here I am 6 years into SJ's diagnosis and I am thrilled that not everything is so difficult anymore.  Even if it is just a haircut, that is monumental progress for SJ. 

drive in movie theater=classic family fun

Last night we took the boys to their first drive-in movie.  We saw Cars 2 and it was great! (You can't go wrong with Pixar!)  The drive-in was packed.  There were probably at least 100 cars there.  We got there about an hour before the movie started.  We went with some friends, so the boys played wiffle ball with the kids until it got too dark.  They had a great time.  Some other random kids joined in and they played very nicely.  SJ did have a "moment" when his friend struck him out.  The dad was kind enough to let SJ advance to first (they were just playing for fun).  SJ ran to first and started to complain that "he hates striking out".  I told the dad, "Now you see why he isn't playing baseball this year."  Other than that one "moment" it was very pleasant.  When it got too dark to play, we made it back to our cars and got settled to watch the movie.  The boys and our friends' kids sat in chairs or on their blankets.  My husband and I sat in the back hatch of my vehicle.  It was a little chilly, so the kids covered themselves up with blankets.  It was surreal to be at a drive-in with my family.  I still remember seeing "Grease" at the drive-in when I was their age.  They showed the same promos to go to the concession stand as they did in my childhood (I guess some things never change).   The kids were mesmerized by the movie.  SJ only left his seat once to use the restroom.  He usually can't sit still for too long at the movies, but the drive-in really held his attention.  It was a great night.  We were just like any other family that was there.  I am glad they got to experience some "classic" fun!

baseball games=social experience for all of us

Bob's baseball team had their playoffs today.  Our whole family went to the game.  Bob as a player, my husband as a coach, me as a photographer and SJ as equipment manager, bat boy and scorekeeper.  SJ was really on top of all of his jobs today.  Last year, he used to get very agitated when the other team scored or had a lead.  This year he didn't seem bothered by this as much.  When the other team had a 2 run lead today, I didn't hear any yelling or complaining from him.  He just adjusted the scoreboard.  After Bob's team won the first game, I did hear some yelling from SJ.  It was the good kind.  It was cheering.  He was clapping and yelling "good job" to the players.  I think that is the best sportsmanship yet that we have seen out of SJ.  Since Bob's team won, they were to play a championship game.  We stayed for the first two innings and then had to leave.  I felt bad that we left, but we had already had a previous commitment.  Bob's team ended up losing, but I felt it was a great baseball season.  I wish that Bob hadn't broken his wrist, because he was really coming into his own this year.  His batting was improving, his pitching was pretty good and he was more aware during his defensive time.  Bob had a great team.  The players meshed really well with each other and the coaches were encouraging to the players.  They were all so accepting of SJ.  They never seemed bothered by him and seemed to enjoy when he came to the games.  It was also great socialization for all of us.  SJ was able to be a part of the team without being an actual player.  When he was a player, he would get so upset when he got out or the other team scored.  Through Bob's team, SJ was learning that it is okay to lose some games.  He learned that sometimes you don't get a hit or you don't catch a ball. That is okay as long as they make their best effort.  Although this was a short season, it was a great experience for all of us. 

sitting for workbooks=mexican SJ bean

We just sat in the dining room to do SJ's workbook pages.  We needed to do 2 books today (context clues and main ideas) since we had to skip them yesterday.  First, he had to stop working to get dressed.  He had his pajamas on, but he wasn't in his clothes for the day.  I told him that he could work in his pajamas, but he was already half way up the stairs to his room.  After he came back down, I asked him if he was ready.  He said that he was and we started to read a paragraph from the context clue book.  I don't think we read more than 3 sentences and he had to stop to go to the bathroom.  I told him to go, but no more interruptions.  I told him we needed to do his work and he shouted that "he hates work".  I told him that I hated hearing him shout.  After his "bathroom break", we restarted the context clues book.  I know he has trouble sitting, but I couldn't believe how many times he got up or fidgeted in his chair.  After about 10 minutes, we had finished the first book.  He had some trouble with the context clues.  I tried to show him how to find the clues in the paragraph, but he was moving so much that I wasn't sure he was listening.  He did manage to do the last question on his own, so I guess he was listening.  He did a much better job with the main idea book.  He still was moving a lot in his chair, but he was able to do most of the main idea questions on his own.  Maybe I should invest in a wiggle seat for our house.  He has one at school and I don't think he likes it.  I can see why he needs it though.  I think he has a constant need to be in motion.

back to the ball fields...back to having fun!

Yesterday evening, the whole family made it to Bob's last regular baseball game.  My husband was coaching, SJ was back to being "equipment manager" and Bob was present but not playing (he said the wrist was still sore.)  The head coach was going to have him pitch, but I think Bob was nervous to reinjure himself.  It was a good game.  We tied the team 14-14.  Many kids got to pitch or catch that don't normally play those positions.  During the game, Bob was complaining a little that he was hot or didn't want to be there. His teammates were quick to point out that they were hot too and they were running and playing ball.  Around the 4th inning, I could tell that Bob had wished he had decided to play.  At the 5th inning, he asked to go get his glove so he could throw a ball with one of his teammates' brother.  By the end of the game, he said he felt his wrist would be fine to play in the playoff game tonight.  I will have to practice with him today, but it was nice to see the old Bob come back.  SJ had fun too at the game.  He was on the bench with the boys.  He was bouncing between the managing the equipment, overseeing the scoreboard and playing with kids that were at the game.  He even joined Bob's team on the field to have their little group talk.  Even if it is the end of the season, I am glad that we are back to our "typical" routine. 

summer speech therapy part 2

SJ had his weekly speech therapy yesterday.  He had a really good session.  The therapist was working on synonyms, antonyms and word association.  She said that he was scoring about 60-65% on his own with the synonyms and antonyms.  With assistance, he was scoring around 85%.  He didn't do as well with the word association.  He was only able to score around 50%.  She sent him home with homework, which we will be working on this week.  I am going to make a game out of the homework.  I think I am going to put some subjects in a hat and see if he can name off 10-15 things associated with it.  If SJ thinks it is a game, I will have much more success in having him participate.  SJ hates "homework".  If I turn the homework into a game, we can use Bob as a contestant too.   Bob is a great help when we do things like this.  He has always been a terrific model for SJ.  Now, I just have to get some prizes.  I guess I will be making a run to Sheetz to get a Juicy Drop Pop (for SJ) and mini M & M's (for Bob).  It is definitely worth the little bit of money that these candies cost to not have to hear the deafening cries that thought of doing "homework" produces.  Wish me luck!

mom's revenge

As I told you yesterday, the boys regularly act poorly in public.  SJ's tantrums are his way to embarrass me.  Bob tends to be mouthy and argumentative in public.  The boys had spent the evening at my parents' house and then we met my mom for lunch the next day.  After lunch, I had to run a few errands.  We had to go to Wal-Mart for two errands.  First, SJ needed to have his new glasses tightened.  I don't know if the boys were tired or just wanted to go home.  Either way, all the good behavior we saw in the restaurant had disappeared.  Bob started to complain in the vision center.  He didn't want to be there and was being very impatient.  We weren't there long (maybe 15 minutes) and then headed to the grocery area.  I needed some deli meats.  We were waiting in line when the complaining started again.  Both boys were whining that they didn't want to be there.  Bob said, "I don't want to be here.  I am not having fun."  SJ added, "I just want to go home."  I told them both that I didn't want to be there either, but we had things to get.  I told them that every minute of every day is not supposed to be fun-packed (although it would be nice!).  I noticed that the other shoppers were listening to this conversation.  There were two ladies around my mom's age and a much older gentleman.  I asked the one lady, "Excuse me, Mam.  Are you having any fun here?"  She replied, "No.  As a matter of fact, I am not having fun."  I then asked the gentleman if he was having fun.  He simply shook his head.  I said to the boys, "See no one is having fun, but we all have things to get.  Life can't always be fun."  Just then, Bob comes over to me looking very red in the face.  He said with a partially closed mouth, "Mom, I can't believe you just embarrassed me like that."  I told him now he will know how I feel when he embarrasses me.  The third lady then said to me, "It gets better, honey."  I replied, "People keep telling me that and I am still waiting."  My hope is now that the boys know I will embarrass them if they can't control their public behavior.  I will heed that lady's advice and keep waiting for it to get better. 

embarrassing moments in my typical day

Bob had broken his wrist a little over a month ago.  Last Tuesday, he had the cast removed and was told not to use his wrist for sports for one week.  Yesterday, my husband and I decided that he could attend his team's second to last game.  He wouldn't play, but he could sit on the bench with his teammates.  My husband wasn't feeling well, so SJ stayed at home with his dad.  I took Bob up to the field.  As we drove the 7 miles to the field, Bob started crying and getting anxious in the car.  He has always been shy, but this behavior was very unexpected.  He knows all the kids on his team, as well as the team we were playing.  When we got to the field, I told him he needed to calm down and go sit on the bench.  I gave him 10 minutes to collect himself.  I left the car and started to talk to some of the other moms.  Everyone was asking where he was and I had to tell them that he was having a "moment" in the car.  After 10 minutes, I walked back to the car and he was still crying.  I called my husband to discuss what to do with Bob.  He told me that he had to go sit on the bench or he couldn't play any electronic games (Wii, PS3, DS, IPad or computer) until he could sit with his team.  I told Bob what his dad had said and gave him 5 more minutes to make a decision.  Meanwhile, my husband was having trouble with SJ at home.  Apparently, he said "beep" for a curse word.  A kid that he was playing with headed towards our house.  SJ thought he would be in trouble if the kid tattled, so he pushed him down.  I told my husband to make him apologize, but the boy had already gone home.  I told him that I would handle it when I got home.  I went to talk to Bob's coaches and they were very understanding.  I was still very embarrassed that my 10 year old was acting like this.  After Bob's additional 5 minutes, I asked him what decision he wanted to make.  Was he going to sit on the bench or lose the video game privilege until he would sit with his team?  He chose to lose his video games, so I drove home.  I tried to talk to him in the car about how all choices have consequences.  I told him that I felt he made a poor choice.  He then began to cry again and told me that it was all my fault.  "My fault," I asked him.  He said if I hadn't made him go to the field he wouldn't be in this situation.  He went on and on for a few minutes.  I had to tell him that he couldn't talk to me any more and that he would go straight to his room for the evening.  After he was headed to his room, I had to deal with SJ's situation.  I saw the neighbor boy and I had SJ apologize to him.  I told him that hitting or pushing is never acceptable.  The kid forgave him, but once again I had to eat another spoonful of embarrassment served up by one of my darling boys.  I should have told them both I was full and I didn't need any more embarrassing moments in my life. Oh well, I am a parent and I guess this as typical as it gets!

typical child is socially awkward...pdd child is not!

We were invited to our friends' pig roast this weekend.  We went last year too and we had a great time.  As soon as we got there, Bob decided that he was going to sit and pout for almost an hour.  As you know if you have been reading this blog, Bob is my typical child.  He is normally shy, but this behavior was worse than he usually acts.  No matter what my husband or I said to him, he just sat there in a chair in the sun.  He is so stubborn!  As I was getting frustrated with Bob for sitting like a lump, I saw SJ running through the yard.  He was playing with kids that we didn't know.  He was laughing and joining in with the wiffle ball game.  He was not playing, but he was being a "coach".  How is it possible that a child with PDD (usually known for being socially awkward) is very social but his typical brother is not?  That has always been a mystery to me.  After the first hour, Bob did soften when a few of his good friends arrived.  The rest of evening was pleasant for all of us.  Bob was playing with his friends.  SJ was taking hay rides or chasing the tractor.  My husband and I were able to socialize with adult (always a bonus!)  It was a great evening.  When it started to get dark and was time to go, I had to pry the boys from old and new friends.  SJ was being chased by a "crazy boy" all night (his words not mine).  He told me this while he was laughing.  Maybe next time, Bob will follow his brother's lead and realize it is much easier to join in the fun than sit by himself.

friends+us=great eating out experience

After the Lego fest on Friday, we went out to dinner with our friends.  I believe this was the first time in a long time that the boys went out to a "real" restaurant with people who weren't related.  There were 12 of us in our dinner party (6 adults and 6 kids).   Bob and SJ sat at the end of the table with the two other boys.  They did surprisingly well.  I was constantly using my peripheral vision to check on them, but they were acting just as the other two boys were acting.  They were laughing, telling jokes and doing magic tricks to pass the time.  They were occasionally a little loud but the restaurant was loud and none of the other diners seemed to notice.  When the food came, all the kids continued to socialize while they ate.  I was able to relax when they were fully engaged in their eating.  I was amazed to enjoy my dinner with other adults and be able to socialize too.  I was so glad that we had this evening with our friends.  Their kids are so wonderful with SJ.  They don't treat him like a kid on the spectrum.  He is just their friend and I love that about these kids.  I am so thankful for all the friends that we have!  Years from now I probably won't remember what we ate, but I will always remember this feeling of being accepted as a "normal" family. 

legofest

We took the boys to Legofest yesterday.  We went with two other families that have kids the same age as Bob and SJ.  I always worry when I take the boys some place where it is very crowded.  I can get panicked if I lose a visual of the boys.  SJ makes me even more nervous than Bob, because he sometimes wanders off.  As you can imagine, Legofest is very popular and very crowded.  There were people everywhere.  I stayed with one boy while my husband was with the other one.  I lost visual only a few times, so my stress was not warranted.  The boys had a great time.  They had a climbing wall, monochromatic build areas, mystery mural (where you could build one small section of the mural), life-size Lego figures (for photo ops), Lego video games, Lego board games, giant group builds, creation nation (where you built a small green square that would fit in a giant United States Lego map), a store (of course!) and Lego races.  The race area was SJ's favorite.  You can build a car and race it against other kids.  He loved it!  The biggest car he built was his "12 wheeler".  It surprisingly stayed together.  Bob and our friends' kids seemed to enjoy the monochromatic build areas the best.  They made cups, trophies and pyramids.  A few years ago, I probably would have passed up this opportunity to attend this event.  I would have been too worried about the crowd and the noise.  I am so glad that SJ has progressed as far as he has and we can now go to these events.  It is good for him, Bob and our whole family. 

brand new box of chalk+boys=great imagination

We have a blacktop driveway.  This is the perfect medium for chalking.  I heard some complaints from the neighbor kids as well as my own that we were out of chalk.  When I went to Wal-Mart last night, I bought the biggest box they had.  It is a beautiful day today, so the boys have been outside all morning.  First, they were on a neighbor's swing set.  Then, they were playing with water guns.  After lunch, SJ needed a "friend break", so he came in while the boys were still playing.  He needs to be by himself occasionally to calm himself.  After his "break" was over, he discovered the new box of chalk.  He immediately began to draw a track that filled up the driveway.  He told me that he was going to test it out with his bike.  He decided that he needed to make a few minor modifications.  A few minutes later, Bob and a neighbor boy joined him.  They added to the track so that multiple people can race.  At first, this irritated SJ that Bob was changing his track.  He started yelling at Bob, so I had to go outside and talk to all of them.  I told SJ to stop yelling.  I also told him that it was okay that the track was changed some and I told Bob to be patient and kind to his brother.  They started to play nicely again.  When I went out to check on them again, I had some more neighbor boys playing with Bob and SJ.  Now, they were all chalking or racing.  They are adding buildings and a pit stop.  I love watching the boys use their imaginations!  That is the best $5 I spent all summer!

canned peaches=sad boys

It is a rainy day here, so no pool today.  SJ and Bob were playing all morning.  They were bouncing between PS3, plushy play and building card dominoes.  Breakfast was so quiet that I almost forgot they were here.  I wish I could say the same for lunch.  I made a standard lunch in our house.  I had made fries for both boys with fish sticks for SJ and chicken fries for Bob.  So what was the trigger today?  Unbelievably it was 2 ounces of canned peaches for each boy.  You would have thought I put poison in their bowls.  Almost immediately, I heard cries and complaints.  SJ kept telling me that he was not eating "applesauce".  I told him multiple times that it was peaches, but he was so upset he couldn't hear me.  Bob was just as bad.  He didn't cry, but the complaining was almost worse.  After about 10 minutes, SJ finished the peaches and said they weren't "horrible".  Bob was still at his seat stating that he "simply can't eat those peaches".  I told him that he was eating them or no electronics for the remainder of the afternoon.  Bob is very stubborn, but he does love his electronics.  He finally gave in and ate the peaches.  He was practically choking on them with all the drama he could muster.  He gave me such a look when he was done.  I guess I was supposed to feel bad for making them eat the peaches.  I just smiled at him and said, "I love you too."  Today the great food battle was won by Mom.  It is about time that I won one!

four square at the pool

We have been going to our local pool for the last four summers.  SJ and Bob love it there.  Of course, they love to swim, but they also love to play Four Square.  For those of you who are not familiar with this game, there is box with 4 squares.  You stand in a box and the King (best box) starts by bouncing the ball into one of the other 3 squares.  That person has to bounce it into another box and so on.  If you can't bounce it into another box, you're out.  Bob has been good at this game for the last few years.  SJ almost always gets out and then gets mad.  Some of the kids know he is not so great at this game and they will spike the ball into his square.  It is almost impossible to bounce it back into another square when it is spiked.  When he goes over to the park with Bob, I don't worry so much for SJ.  I know that Bob will look out for SJ.  Today, SJ decided to go over to park without Bob.  I sat on my towel and observed from a distance.  I thought it was going well, but I couldn't hear what they were saying.  After a few minutes, I walked a little closer to the park so that I could hear what the boys were saying.  The boys were playing normally and there were a few older boys.  The older boys tend to play much rougher than the kids that are SJ's age and younger.  To my surprise, the boys were being very kind to SJ.  When he got out, he would simply say "Dang it!" and get back in line.  One time a boy did spike the ball into his square and SJ just said that was cheating.  The boy said it was allowed and they continued to play.  No tantrum, no yelling, no crying was heard.  All I heard was the laughter of the boys playing.  The best sound I heard was SJ's laughter.  For those few moments, SJ was just another typical boy playing Four Square.  I will be thinking about those few moments for years!

summer speech therapy

Today, SJ had speech therapy at his new summer time.  I have it scheduled so that it doesn't interfere with his pool time.  He goes once a week for 1/2 hour.  He doesn't like going.  There always is grumbling, but once he is there he seems fine.  We had a different therapist today.  This change doesn't throw him off anymore.  I used to have to do much preparation explaining when a change like this occurred.  SJ has been going to speech for such a long time (since he was 2 1/2) that he is old hat at it.  He has been working on antonyms, synonyms and conversational speech.  He has a lot of trouble with antonyms, but he can do alright with synonyms with some phonemic clues.  I wanted the speech therapists to work on the antonym/synonym skill.  I think this will help him with his comprehension difficulties that he has had in school.  The therapist told me that he did struggle with the antonyms, but did fairly well with the synonyms.  She did have to give him a few clues.  She also said he did well with his conversational speech.  This made me very happy considering she was a new therapist for him.  He had some trouble remembering to follow the "Give Me 5" rules.  He knows them, but he doesn't always want to follow them.  The rules are:  1. Eyes on the person talking, 2. Ears listening, 3. Body still, 4. Hands free and 5. Mouth quiet.  Number 5 is the one that SJ has the most trouble with.  He doesn't like to be told to be quiet or to be hushed.  Even though he had some difficulties with the exercises she did with him, he did a good job today. 

lunch out with grammy

Bob and SJ spent the night at Grammy and Pappy's house.  They do this occasionally, so that my husband and I can have a date night.  I met the boys and my mom at Eat n Park for lunch.  Eating out is always stressful for me.  I am never sure what kind of behavior SJ is going to exhibit.  Like any child, the older he has gotten the better the behavior is.  Or maybe I am just more prepared for his behaviors.  He brought his new Sonic plushy and Mario and Luigi.  Bob and SJ were playing with the plushies.  I thought they were a little loud at times, but the other diners didn't seem to notice.  I had asked the waitress to bring out their food as soon as it was ready.  I learned this lesson a long time ago.  When SJ is hungry, he tends to get loud and very impatient.  She brought out their food first and all went well.  They were still talking to us, but the food kept them busy.  My mom's and my food arrived a few minutes later.  When it was time for the check, the waitress brought out their Smiley cookies and SJ was very happy!  On a scale of 1-10 (one being a failure and 10 being a success), I would say this was a solid 8.  I will take that score any day!

great fictional book!

I just finished reading House Rules by Jodi Picoult.  SJ's teacher was reading it and suggested it to me.  I have read a few of Jodi Picoult's books and I am a fan.  This book has a main character named Jacob, who is diagnosed with Aspergers.  His social skills tutor dies and he is considered a suspect in her death.  What I found so interesting about the book was his relationship with his mother and typical brother.  The mother was similar to me in many ways.  She went out of her way to find therapies, diets, schools, etc. to help her son.  Although SJ is not "typical", I try so hard to integrate him in the typical world.  The brother was similar to Bob in many ways too.  Bob can get very frustrated with SJ's "quirks".  He doesn't know why SJ gets so mad when he loses, as he says "acts like a 2 year old".  He doesn't understand why he echoes so much dialogue from favorite shows or books.  I really felt for this fictional family and especially Jacob.  I know SJ is different than him, but Jacob was trying his best to fit into the typical world.  I believe that is something that SJ struggles with everyday too.

supplement situation

For several years, SJ has been on a supplement regimen.  Everyday he gets zinc, D3, magnesium, calcium, fish oil, coramega and therabiotic.  It is a struggle every day to get him to take them.  He cries and yells that he hates the supplements.  I know he hates them, but they are helping him.  Last summer, we took him off of the supplements to see what would happen.  He didn't regress, but his behaviors were hard to control.  We put him back on after a month and his behaviors improved.  Needless to say, we won't be taking him off of them again anytime soon.  Today's meltdown occurred due to the addition of a Zyrtec tablet.  I usually give him the liquid, but they were out of it when I went shopping.  He started crying and then yelling that he has to take too many pills.  I told him that it was the same medicine as the liquid, but he wouldn't hear it.  His crying turned into sobbing and the yelling got worse.  In his anger, he pushed his supplements aside and spilled the zinc all over the counter.  That was it for me and my patience.  I made him go to the corner and told him never to do that again.  It was 7:23 in the morning and I had already had enough.  After his time out, he said he didn't like the little pill (Zyrtec).  It tastes "yucky" when he chews it.  We told him he wasn't supposed to chew it.  He should just swallow it.  No wonder he didn't like it.  It probably tastes horrible.  When I ran out to the store a little later, I bought the liquid Zyrtec.  There is no sense in making an already tense daily routine any harder.  It may make SJ's and our day a little smoother!

past to present

I found a journal that I started writing in when SJ was first diagnosed with PDD.  I was so upset about the diagnosis that I wanted to get those feelings out.  I was practically a zombie for the first month.  There are not many entries in it.  I thought it was getting a little depressing, so I decided to stop writing in it.  Here is an excerpt from the first entry.

"December 12, 2004:  We received the diagnosis for SJ on November 24th (the day before Thanksgiving).  To say the least, we were both in a fog.  I was partially in denial and I still am hoping for a misdiagnosis.  We both believe he is on the mild end of the spectrum and hope with therapy he will get a lot better.  SJ has been in speech therapy through Early Intervention for a few months now.  That therapy is helping tons.  We are using some sign language, some songs and magnetic pictures.  These methods have helped SJ communicate simple words to us, such as what he wants to eat or drink.  He has been imitating some gestures when we play "When Your Happy and You Know It."  I have also been trying to get SJ to imitate me in the mirror and identify his body parts (eyes, nose, mouth, etc.)."

I get mixed emotions when I looked back at this journal.  I remember feeling so sad that SJ wasn't going to "normal".  I hate that term now.  Who really is normal?  I remember mourning the childhood I thought he lost.  I was wrong.  He didn't lose that childhood.  It just came at a slightly slower pace.  After the fog wore off, I realized that SJ was the same kid that I loved before the diagnosis.  We just had a name for the behaviors now.  He has come so far from that initial diagnosis and that brings me so much joy!  Seven years later, I have a boy that wants to play with others, his brother and his parents.  I have a happy boy with an infectious smile!  It has been a bumpy path to this present, but I wouldn't change a minute of it!

sleep running SJ

Every once in a while, SJ will sleep run.  I would say sleepwalk, but he appears to be running from something.  When it occurs, he seems very agitated.  We assume that he is having a nightmare.  He will run downstairs and try to open doors.  This concerns me, because I am not sure if he will accidentally leave the house.  Fortunately, my husband and I are usually still up when this happens.  My big worry is that we will be so exhausted from our day that we will not hear him.  So far, we have always heard him.  One of us will then steer him back to bed.  Last night, he had three episodes of this sleep running before he was able to remain in his bed.  I asked him this morning if he had a bad dream last night.  He gave me his typical response of "I don't know".  I wish I knew what was upsetting him, so that we could talk about it with the next day.  The good news is that even after three of these episodes he still is his happy self the next day.  Maybe one of these days he will outgrow this behavior.  Until then, I will sleep lightly!

trampoline=happy boys

We bought a trampoline for the boys about 4 years ago.  We thought the trampoline would help with SJ's sensory difficulties.  He has weak muscles in his fingertips.  Fine motor coordination is challenging for him.  He has been going to Occupational Therapy for years to help with this.  We spent the better part of the evening assembling the trampoline (we take it down for the winter months).  SJ was helping place the springs and spring covers.  He was very anxious to get on the trampoline.  After we thought we were most of the way done, my husband realized that we needed to spin the whole thing.  SJ was not too happy about this delay.  Eventually, my husband corrected the problem.  SJ was the first kid on the trampoline.  He was so happy!  He was laughing and jumping.  After a couple minutes, Bob got his turn.  This rotation of boys went on for about 30 minutes.  There is no better sound than kids laughing and having fun.  Who knew that a trampoline would bring that much joy?

teaching SJ to not be a poor sport

Last night, SJ, Bob and a neighbor boy were having races in our backyard.  Most of the time, Bob won.  He is older than both SJ and the neighbor boy.  Occasionally, SJ won.  SJ was coping well most of the times that he lost.  After about 20 minutes of losing, he was getting frustrated.  When SJ gets frustrated at losing, we see several behaviors.  He starts to shout at Bob.  He may say that it is not fair or it was all Bob's fault.  He may even declare that he has won when clearly he did not.  He may also pick up the toy and throw it.  We have been trying to work on stopping this behavior.  We tell him that he is being a poor sport.  We tell him that he can't yell at other kids (even if it is his brother) and he definitely can't throw things.  We tell him that kids won't want to play with him if he acts like this.  This is why he is currently not playing any team sports, like baseball or soccer.  My husband and I have been trying to recognize these behaviors and stop them before he gets too mad.  We pull him aside and take him inside to stand in the corner.  He hates this punishment, but it does seem to be effective.  Sometimes, the simple threat of standing in the corner is enough to stop his yelling.  The problem is that after his punishment is over he will choose to go upstairs to be by himself.  That is defeating the purpose of him playing with Bob and other kids.  I wish there was an easier way to get him to remain calm when he loses.  I guess we will just have to keep at it.  Practice makes tolerance!

summer workbooks=unhappy SJ

Every summer, I have the boys do summer workbooks.  I usually have them do the Summer Bridge books, which are books that are designed to bridge the gaps between the grade the child finished and the one they will be entering the following year.  They are a great refresher for the kids.  They cover all the subjects that they learned throughout the year.  SJ doesn't really like doing any kind of schoolwork over the summer, but I like to keep him working on skills that he struggles with.  His biggest struggle is comprehension.  His teacher had suggested some workbooks that Scholastic offered.  They focus on different areas of comprehension.  I ordered three:  Main Idea, Inferences and Context Clues.  Monday through Fridays, we will do a page from each book.  Today was the first day of our summer break.  I pulled out the Main Idea workbook.  SJ started to cry.  He said, "But it is summer, Mom!  I don't want to do schoolwork!"  I explained to him that he needs to do a page a day.  I told him he was having trouble with this part of reading at school, and the workbooks will help him be an excellent reader in fourth grade.  I also explained that we could not do anything fun until this was done.  As he read his paragraph, tears were dripping on the page.  I used a ruler under each sentence, so that he would only focus on one sentence at a time.  When he was done reading, he had to answer the questions on the page.  This produced more tears, but eventually he finished.  I had to help him some, but we got through it.  I am hoping with each passing day that there will be less tears and less assistance from me.  More importantly, I am hoping that he realizes that reading can be fascinating when we focus on the details.

autism walk is for families

We had a great time at the Autism Walk today.  Bob was a little mopey.  He was tired, but I think sometimes he acts a little jealous of SJ.  Obviously, he doesn't want to have PDD.  I think he feels that SJ gets more attention from everyone due to the PDD.  When SJ was diagnosed 7 years ago, he would get mad that the TSS (therapeutic staff support) wasn't there for him.  We were fortunate and had a great TSS.  She would try to include Bob as much as she could, but she was there to work with SJ.  He also feels that I give SJ much more slack. (That used to be true a lot of time I am ashamed to say.)  I have been trying to work on giving each child their fair share of my attention.  Today, I was seeing some of that behavior from Bob.  We tried to get him to join SJ in the bounce house.  We tried to get him to decorate a Smiley Cookie.  We tried to get him to color a wooden puzzle piece.  Finally, we went by a booth that had a bubble machine.  The bubble machine caught both boys' attention.  It was so nice to see both boys smiling and enjoying themselves.  Then, we passed a booth that had a pitching game.  SJ got in line and I thought Bob wasn't going to participate.  When he saw how much fun SJ was having, he got in line and pitched very well!  We then had a snack and began the walk.  When we were walking, I was looking out for other families like ours.  I could see the kids with Autism, but I could also see the siblings who were walking.  I hope they enjoyed their day as much as Bob finally did.  That is the thing with Autism, Aspergers or PDD-NOS.  It affects the whole family, not just the child with the diagnosis. 

autism walk prep

This was our 4th year to go to the walk.  The first two years we went as a part of our school group.  Last year and this year, we were on our own as a family.  We love going to the walk, but I tend to get stressed out getting ready for it.  As usual, we were preparing our t-shirts at the last minute.  My husband and I were trying to put transfer paper decals on the shirts.  They weren't turning out the way that we were expecting.  We were using green t-shirts.  We thought they would have white letters with black borders.  Unfortunately, they were clear letters with black borders.  Then, they weren't sticking to the t-shirts very well.  My husband kept complaining that we should have had them professionally done.  I told him that I was trying to save some money and do them ourselves.    Between the shirts, the decals and all the aggravation, we probably didn't save any money.   Sometimes it is better to spend a little extra money and save yourself the stress.

last day blues

Today was Bob and SJ's last day of school.  They both had to be pried out of bed and were very crabby all morning.  When we got to school, the boys were very restless.  They wouldn't stop picking on each other.  I am sure Bob was just tired from staying up too late, but SJ knew his routine was going to be thrown off.  First of all, it was only a half day.  Since it was a half day, they had to serve lunch early.  He is always conscientious of the clock.  He knows exactly when his specials and daily routines are going to occur.  It bothered him that they were eating at 11 instead of 12.  When I picked him up at the end of the half day, he was upset.  His aide told me that he was mad about not getting a sticker on his report card.  His teacher had put stickers by all of his A's.  He happened to get a B in Science, so he didn't get a sticker in that column.  He complained about that for about 10 minutes.  I was trying to reason with him in the car.  I told him that I was so proud of all of his grades.  I told him a B in Science is a great grade, but he couldn't get over the lack of the sticker.  After we returned home, he was anxious to go to the pool.  I thought the pool wasn't going to open until 4:00, so I told him that we would not be able to go.  SJ started to whine again.  I told him that he needed to stop whining or I was going to take a few of his plushies.  This was enough to get him to calm down.  He went outside to play with Bob, so I decided to call the pool to find out their hours for today.  They told me they were already open.  I told SJ and Bob that the pool was open and SJ yelled yes.  He was so excited that he ran in the house and got on his bathing suit.  I was thrilled that the anticipation of going to pool drained him of his last day of school blues!

What if SJ was in charge?

There are only a few days left of the school year.  Bob and SJ had cleaned out their desks and brought home workbooks and school papers.  I was going through the papers when I found a report that SJ wrote.  I thought it was pretty funny and so him.  I am going to share it with you.

If I Were In Charge Of The World by SJ

If I were in charge of the world

I'd go to the pool everyday,

Cancel chores,

And wash the bike every Saturday.

If I were in charge of the world

There'd be no school for 1,000 years,

No adult swim,

And no mowing the lawn.

If I were in charge of the world

You wouldn't go to school,

You wouldn't go to speech after school every Friday,

You wouldn't go eat dinner with adults,

Or go get my eyes checked.

I was thrilled that he was putting in writing his likes and dislikes.  He just wants to be a kid who rides his bike and swims.  All this adult stuff is holding him back.  What a shame to be so stifled at 9.  Poor SJ!