trouble at lunch

Last week, the lunch monitor at SJ's school told me that SJ was having a hard time at lunch. I asked her what was going on. She told me that he was saying mean things to the girls that sit near him. He was also holding up his lunch box in front of his face, so that he wouldn't have to see the girls. I asked her why he was sitting next to a girl anyway. I thought he sat next to a boy.

Apparently, they were sitting boy-girl-boy-girl. I asked her if he could sit next to a boy, but she said it wasn't her decision. (I am sure there was a good reason for that decision.) I told her that I would talk to him and inform him of a consequence if I heard of this behavior again.

I don't know why SJ doesn't like girls. He is at the age now where he should be starting to show a beginning interest in girls romantically. He is somewhat behind developmentally, but the described behavior seems too developmentally behind. I asked him what was going on at lunch. "I hate sitting next to girls," he whined. "Why?" I asked him. "Their voices sound like dying cows," he responded. "What?!? Dying cows! That is mean, SJ. Mommy is a girl and my voice doesn't sound like that," I told him. "You don't count, Mom. You're an old girl," said SJ. Old girl, indeed!

I told him that his behavior towards the girls is inappropriate and unacceptable. I told him he was being mean and hurting the girls' feelings. I asked, "Would you like it if the girls said you sounded like a dying cow?" He didn't respond. "I don't want people hurting your feelings and I don't want you to hurt other people's feelings, especially the girls," I told him. "If the lunch monitor tells me you are being mean again, I will take you IPod for the night."

The next day I told the lunch monitor what his consequence would be if he misbehaved again. When I saw her at the end of the day, I asked her how his behavior was at lunch. "Much better since they are now not sitting boy-girl-boy-girl,” she said. "Well, if he starts misbehaving again, remind him that he will lose the IPod," I asked her. I am relieved that he can now sit next to a boy, but I am hopeful that he will remember his consequence for being mean.

after school speech part 19

SJ met his new speech therapist on Thursday.  She told my husband that she wasn't exactly sure where Miss J. left off.  My husband told me to call her during the week and tell her what Miss J. had been working on.  The new therapist worked on a comprehension story.  SJ had to cut out coordinating pictures that went with the story to assist him in the retelling.  The story was about a boy who loved thunderstorms.  One night, he had a dream that there was a thunderstorm, but it wasn't raining.  He jumped to look out the window and there were marshmallows falling instead of rain.  His mom called him to wake up.  When he sat up in his bed, he heard real raindrops.  He realized that it would have been great if it was raining marshmallows since he was hungry.  After he retold the story, SJ also had to answer questions about the story.  SJ did well with this exercise.  He only missed one question.

Next, she worked on Identifying Causes of Events.  This is an exercise that Miss J. used each week.  SJ answered most of the situations with reasonable responses.  For example:  Natalie worked all day in the yard raking and planting flowers.  Why?  The expected answer was that it is spring or she wanted her yard to look nice.  SJ answered that she had chores to do.  Not exactly the same, but definitely reasonable. 

Last, she worked on practicing greetings.  SJ doesn't really need help with this.  He is remarkably social for a child on the spectrum.  This is something I will express to her when I talk to her this week.  Considering the change in therapists and practice exercises, SJ has a very good session.

i flunked my test mom!

On Wednesday, SJ was pretty upset at the end of the day. "I flunked my test, Mom," said SJ. "What test?" I asked. "My PSSA practice test," replied SJ. I sighed in relief. I know everyone thinks the PSSA's are important (and they are for funding), but it doesn't affect SJ's grades. "That is okay, buddy. It doesn't matter if you do badly on that," I assured him. "It does matter," he whines.

I explained to him that it does matter somewhat, but it doesn't affect his grades. I told him to try his best and his teacher would understand if he doesn't get a terrific score.

These PSSA tests gauge the students to see how well they comprehend the general material. The students may have to read a story and answer some comprehension questions. SJ has trouble with comprehension. Not necessarily because he doesn't comprehend, but because he tends to rush through the passage and the questions. When he rushes, he misses many of the questions. His aides at school and I agree that he would do much better if he took his time. 

They might also have to answer a writing prompt. That is the area that troubles SJ the most. He HATES writing! He always says that he doesn't know what to write and he gets extremely flustered. He still hasn't figured out if he read the passage more carefully he would be able to pull out key points for his writing section.

Santa had brought SJ some comprehension practice books for Christmas. We haven't done them in a while, but I guess it is time to pull them out again. Perhaps if he gets comfortable at home doing the comprehension questions, he won't be so agitated when he is presented with them at school. (In a perfect world, this would actually happen, but we know my world is not perfect!)

bath time for SJ

SJ was due for a bath tonight.  He still likes taking bathtubs, which is fine with me.  I yelled from the living room, "SJ, I am going to start your tub water."  He said, "It better be hot!"  "And what is going to happen if it isn't?" I replied.  "I am going to be so mad," said SJ.  My husband and I started laughing.  It better be hot indeed. 

SJ loves taking baths.  He can soak in the tub for a half an hour sometimes.  Bob doesn't take baths anymore.  He said he is too old for that, so he only showers.  Their preference doesn't matter to me as long as they come out cleaner than when they went in. 

After about 15 minutes, SJ started whining that he was tired.  I asked him if he was finished.  He said, "Actually, no.  I didn't wash my hair."  SJ was pretty sick on Saturday night (vomiting at 1:00 a.m.) and he has been pretty drained since then.  I decided to help him wash his hair and got him out of the tub.  I told him to dry off and get his pj's on.  "If you are tired, you can go to bed," I told him.  But he must not have been too tired, because I can hear him playing the Wii right now.  That stinker!

after school speech part 18

Well, it was our last session with SJ's current speech therapist.  She is taking another job, so SJ is going to be assigned to another therapist.  I am very excited for her life change, but I am sad to see her go.  She was such a great speech therapist.  We have been very lucky with speech therapists, occupational therapists and TSS's (except for the one whose name indicated she had a pleasant personality, but that was not the case!).  SJ should be fine with the new therapist.  I don't anticipate any drama.

The current therapist worked on Problem Solving and Identifying Cause and Effect.  She said that SJ did very well with the problem solving exercises.  She had SJ read a story and then she reread it to him.  SJ then had to answer questions about the Main Idea and Details and Problem Solving questions.  She reported that he did very well with this activity.  She had to give him a few prompts, but overall she seemed pleasantly surprised with his ability. 

Next, she worked on the Cause and Effect situations. She has been working on this for a few weeks now.  There were 16 situations and he only had difficulty with 4 of them.  That is great for SJ.  An example:  Ellen is buying a new refrigerator.  Why?  She wanted him to respond with the old refrigerator stopped working or she wants a different one.  SJ answered that Ellen is selling her old one.  Not the perfect answer, but it is a plausible effect.  The ones that he had trouble with will be his homework for the week. 

Miss J, if you are reading this entry, SJ will continue to work hard and use the strategies that you have taught him.  Good luck to you and you will be missed and always remembered!

the consequence of always wanting to be first

Every day when we get to the boys' school, SJ jumps out of the car first and runs into the building.  There is no rush, since we are usually first to arrive.  Every day I tell him not to run.  Every day!  He just always wants to be first at everything.  Today was no different than any other day.  Unfortunately on this day, SJ hit a patch of icy pavement on the sidewalk.  Before I could even hit the automatic locks on my car, I heard him crying.   

I walked over to where he was laying on the sidewalk.  "Are you alright?" I asked him.  "I hate the slippery sidewalk!" he cried.  I looked at him to see if he was injured.  He had ripped his pants and scraped his knee.  Right next to him on the ground was his new IPod, which he just got at Christmas.  "Oh no, my IPod," he cried.  I looked at it quickly and the screen appeared to be cracked. 

I felt sick inside.  The IPods aren't cheap.  I was hoping my husband had bought the insurance, since SJ is prone to not being so careful with electronic gadgets.  "You shouldn't have been running.  Now, your screen is cracked," I said to SJ.  "If you had been walking, you may not have dropped your IPod," I added.  (But who am I kidding.)  SJ said, "It is not cracked.  It is just scratched."  He was wrong.  It is definitely cracked. 

I called my husband and told him what happened.  He told me that he hadn't bought the insurance (oh crap!), but maybe Apple can fix the screen.  I told SJ that if Daddy can't get the screen fixed by Apple that he may have to use some of his allowance money to get a new one.  "What?  You've got to be kidding me!!!" yelled SJ.  "Maybe next time you won't be in such a hurry to be the first one in the building," I told him.  Hopefully this situation will teach him that.  Not likely, but I will keep wishing.

making valentines for the day of love

Today was SJ's and Bob's Valentine's Day parties at school.  When I picked them up from school yesterday, I told them that we had to work on their boxes and their valentines.  "I hate Valentine's Day!"  declared SJ.  "Why do we have to have a party for that?" he asked.  "Why are you complaining?"  I asked him.  "You get to have treats and not do work at the end of the day," I told him.  "But it is a girl's holiday," said SJ.  "And I hate girls!" he said.  "Don't say you hate girls, SJ.  I am a girl and you don't hate me," I said.  "You don't count as a girl.  You are Mom," said SJ.  "One of these days in the very near future you will like girls.  Until then, you need to be nice to all your classmates and make the valentines," I told him.

I had cut out some construction paper hearts and made stickers for the boys to place on their valentines.  Bob didn't want to use the hearts.  I had him use some blank business cards instead.  SJ's hearts were yellow, so I told him he could draw Charlie Brown's black zigzagged line on them.  I helped him put the stickers on the other side. 

"Um, Mom.  Can you do me a solid and write their names on them?" asked SJ.  "Why can't you write them?"  I asked him.  "It is too much work for me.  I will get so tired," he whined.  I had a very long day at work and wasn't up to forcing him to do this task.  So I agreed to write the names on the back sides of the hearts.  When I wasn't sure how to spell a name, SJ would look it up in last year's yearbook to spell it for me. (Several of the kids have the same first name, however, they are all spelled differently!)

Both boys finished their boxes on their own.  Bob found some pictures online that he liked.  He printed them and used them as decorations on the top of his box.  SJ decided to do a Pac-Man design on his.  He used some of his many markers to make the grid, the ghosts and Pac-Man himself.  Overall, I was very pleased with the end result. 

When I picked them up at the end of the day,they had their boxes stuffed with all the valentines that they had received along with many treats and candies.  Bob only eats certain chocolate candy and SJ doesn't eat chocolate at all.  He tends to favor fruity candies, such as Skittles, Starburst, lollipops and fruit snacks.  I always thought it was odd that they were both so particular about their candy likes.  Oh well, that is just more candy for my husband and I. 

the return of the chapped goatee

Every winter, SJ "grows" his chapped goatee. He has an unconscious habit of licking his dry lips and then he drags his arm across his face. We have been seeing him do this painful habit for at least 8 years. My husband and I try to remind him not to lick his lips and to not wipe his mouth with his arm, but he continues to do it. The result is a raw, red skin that resembles a goatee.

When people tell me about SJ's face, I always say that he must be trying to grow his goatee again. Last year, we were able to convince him to use Blistex. It took a lot of prodding. He was convinced that it was "lipstick". We decided not to refer to it as chap stick, since that too closely sounds like "lipstick". We just call it his lip medicine.

When the goatee started to appear this year, we found that the Blistex wasn't as effective as it was last year. My husband found a new chap stick brand. It is Carmex. SJ seems to like it and it does a slightly better job than Blistex. (Of course, SJ has to remember to apply it or even that won't be effective.)

So, if you see your child "growing" his own chapped goatee, try Carmex. Or the best solution would be to get your kid to stop licking and wiping his lips. If you have any tricks on that, I could use them. I am all out of ideas to get SJ to stop doing this (we have tried everything short of tying his arms down!).

after school speech part 17

On Thursday, I took SJ to his weekly speech session. (He would have rather had my husband take him, but I wanted to go over his test results with his therapist.) She had given him the TOPS3 test (Test of Problem Solving). He was shown a picture and he had to answer various questions. He was under the benchmark in all of the categories, but he especially struggled with inferences and predictions. (None of this was a surprise to me!) I told her that I assumed that those would have been his areas of deficit. Now we know what we have to work on.

As a special needs mom, I always want to know the truth about where his weaknesses are. I don't want things sugar coated for us. I can't help him (or get him help) if I don't know exactly where he stands. I am glad she was able to share his test results with me.

This week she continued to work on Problems and Solutions with SJ. She did a worksheet with him that showed him a picture of an old man and he looked ill. It had a caption that said "Loren's grandpa felt dizzy when he came out of the store. Loren told him to sit down and rest, but then he got sicker." SJ had to answer "What is the problem?" He answered that Grandpa is sick. His therapist asked him who the story was about. He answered Loren and her grandpa. He then had to give his therapist five ways that Loren could solve the problem. He came up with the first one easily. He said she could make him feel better. This was very vague, so his therapist prompted him with a How prompt. SJ answered that she could get him medicine.

SJ was still having trouble, so his therapist told him to think about how he would want someone to help him. He then answered that she could take him to the hospital, she could call 911 and she could call her parents. I thought that was a good strategy that the therapist used. It seemed to have helped SJ to try to put himself in grandpa's shoes.

She also did a worksheet without pictures. He needed to tell his therapist what the problem was in each situation. He had some difficulty identifying the problems in a few of the situations. An example: There is a student sitting in your desk and he will not leave. He needed to answer that the problem is that he cannot take his assigned seat in the classroom. She said that when she prompted SJ with "It's a problem because..." he was able to answer the situation a little more easily. We will be working on these situations this week for homework.