On Monday, SJ's aide informed me of some very unacceptable behavior that SJ had early in the school day. Apparently, Maria (a girl in his class) made the most horrible mistake of inviting him to her party. (Obviously, I am being sarcastic. I think it is wonderful any time he is invited to a classmate's birthday party.) When Maria gave him the invitation, he shouted at her that he didn't want to go to a girl's party. "Girls are stupid and I don't like girls," continued SJ.
Thankfully, SJ's teacher and aide told him there would be a consequence. He was to lose his recess. His aide wasn't sure if the punishment was enforced, so I decided to punish him at home. He lost electronics and I made him write Maria an apology.
He was sobbing and crying the whole time. I explained to him that his behavior was unacceptable. I asked him, "How would you feel if one of the boys acted like that when you invited them to your party?" I added, "Would you think he was being a nice person?" SJ cried and said that he wouldn't like that. "Then, don't act that way to someone else," I told him. I told him he simply needs to say thank you and bring the invitation home. If he doesn't want to go, we will just call to say he can't make it.
I asked him to go get a piece of paper to write the apology note. He stomped into the library and then returned to the kitchen. "I don't know what to say," he whined. "You need to apologize for being unjustly angry and for hurting her feelings," I told him. I helped him write the letter and told him that he needed to give it to her in the morning.
After he was done with the apology, I told him we were going to practice how to react the next time he gets an invitation from a girl. (Although, I wouldn't think this would happen any time soon and I wouldn't blame the girls.) I got down on my knees (to be at a girl's height) and pretended to hand SJ an invitation. "SJ, would you like to come to my party?" I asked. He just stared at me. I prompted him to say thank you and to tell the girl that he would have to check with me. We practiced this scenario several times.
Tuesday, SJ was to give the apology to Maria. I had a feeling he wouldn't. When I saw Maria in the hall, I asked her if he had given her anything. "No," she said. When I saw his aide, I asked her if she saw the note. She said she hadn't. I told her he may have thrown it away. I said I would check his folder to see if it was still there, but I was 90% sure he had thrown it away. If he did, he would be rewriting the apology.
Sure enough, that little stinker had thrown it away. I immediately made him rewrite it and told him he would lose electronics for 2 days if he threw it away again. Fortunately for SJ, he finally gave her the note Wednesday morning.
I just don't understand why he reacts like that to girls. I have a sneaky suspicion that he is starting to develop feelings for girls and doesn't know how to process them. If any of you have a better understanding to his reaction, your input would be extremely welcome.
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