stranger danger

On Wednesday, I took Bob to his soccer practice.  While I was there, my husband called me on the phone.  He told me that he couldn't find SJ and asked if I would call our one neighbor to see if he was there.  Initially, I was thinking I couldn't believe he didn't look for him.  Then, I remembered that SJ is 10 and we are trying to give him a little more independence. 

So, I told my husband that I would call my neighbor and he said he was going to see if he was near the new building site (a favorite place for him to explore).  My neighbor hadn't seen him, but was kind enough to go to her front yard and yell for him.

Now, the two of them are yelling for SJ while I am on the phone with my neighbor.  My heart is racing jumping to the worst of conclusions.  Finally after about 90 seconds, my neighbor spotted him and yelled for him to come to her house.  She then yelled to my husband that she spotted him.  I thanked her profusely and then called my husband on his cell.

I told him to remind him again that he needs to tell us when he is going to leave the house.  In the last week or so, he has just had this urge to take little walks.  Normally, this would be fine.  We live in a safe neighborhood and everyone knows SJ.  But I wasn't 100% sure SJ would know what to do if a bad stranger approached him. 

That is the thing with having a kid on the spectrum.  You drill into their heads:  eye contact, eye contact, eye contact and to try to be socially open.  We have talked to him about stranger danger, but it goes against all of the social practice drills. 

When my husband asked him about stranger danger, he didn't really understand.  He explained to him that some people are bad and they shouldn't be trusted.  He went over the scenarios of how to not trust an adult who is looking for a kid to help them with something (i.e.:  they can't find their dog).  My husband told him that the stranger will lie and SJ quickly said that he hates liars.  So, my husband told him that bad strangers sometimes will say that he or I have asked this stranger to drive him somewhere.  He instructed him to run to a neighbor's house and scream very loud if this happens. 

Even though he talked to him, I am still not sure he understands.  I will have to go over these situations again and I am going to ask his speech therapist for some strategies for helping a child on the spectrum understand this life lesson.