i hate my life/why me?

On Wednesday, SJ was having a bad day.  Okay to him it was a HORRIBLE day.  In fact, it was an "I hate my life" day.  Every once in a while, SJ will say that he hates his life if I ask him to do too many non-preferred activities.  After my husband finished up work for the day, we ate our dinner.  Dinner was pork chops on the grill and baked potatoes.  SJ does not particularly care for meat and he really does not like pork.  When I placed the plate in front of him, he started huffing and puffing. 

"Pork?  Why do I have to eat pork?" he asked.  "Because that is what we are having tonight," I replied.  More huffing and puffing followed with some very large alligator tears.  "But I hate pork chops and I really hate baked potatoes," he added.  "You can hate them, but you are still eating them," I told him.  "Why me?  Why is my life so terrible?" he mumbled. 

I did what I always do.  I "planned ignored" him.  I have found that if I give the unpleasant behavior no attention that it stops much quicker.  He eventually settled down and ate the pork and potato.  After dinner, Bob and SJ were back to their electronics.  After a period that I felt was too long (about an hour), I told them to go outside to play.  Neither boy wanted to go outside, but they needed some outside time. 

I wasn't aware that my husband had begun some work in the garage.  The boys were outside whining and complaining about the fact that they didn't want to be outside.  My husband was having difficulty with his home improvement project and the whining was not helping his concentration.  When I went outside, I heard him yelling at the boys to stop. 

My husband doesn't yell often, but when he does it is for a reason.  The boys kept up their complaining, so my husband took away their electronics until the next evening.  Bob was so mad, since he felt that SJ was doing the majority of complaining.  SJ looked like a deflated balloon.  He was sitting on one of Bob's soccer balls and he was sobbing uncontrollably.

"I hate my life.  I hate my life.  I hate my life," he repeated over and over again.  For a few seconds, I felt badly that I had sent them outside.  If I had known my husband was working out there, I would have left them in the house.  But I reminded myself that I was not the one that was frustrating my husband.  It was the boys.  I told SJ to stop saying that.  I reminded him that he has a great life, but he was being punished for not listening.

They stayed outside until it got dark and then they moped into the house.  SJ was still crying, but very softly to himself.  I told him and Bob that they should apologize to their dad.  I told them they should not complain about playing outside and if they do it again they will know what their punishment will be. 

Bob is stubborn, so he didn't feel he needed to apologize.  SJ is smart (and not stubborn), so he apologized to my husband.  My husband shortened the punishment and only took away his electronics for the evening.  I hope both the boys learned something from this episode.  Complaining will get you in trouble, crying is not effective in this house and apologies can help a tense situation.