scrimmages, practices and games

Two weeks ago, SJ had two scrimmages. His games (or scrimmages in this case) have been scheduled for 4:30. I work until 4:30, so I am lucky to see just a few minutes of the end of the game. I did make it to see the last three minutes. When I walked into the gym, he was on the court. I sat down in the bleachers and watched. He appeared to not know what was going on. It almost reminded me of when he was very small and played soccer. He was looking up at the ceiling more than paying attention to the action on the court. They didn't win the scrimmage, but I was proud that he was out there.


On the way home, I talked to SJ about my observation. He was complaining that no one passed the ball to him. I explained that it is hard to get a ball passed to you when you are no where near the net and you are looking at the ceiling. I suggested that he watch some YouTube videos on basketball to see how the players interact on the court. He didn't respond, but he is 13.


I didn't make the other scrimmage, since it was an away event. They lost again and SJ told me that he played "some" during the game. I was hopeful that he would get to play at the following week's game, but I wouldn't be surprised if he was just a bench warmer.


On Saturday, he had a two hour practice. Of course, he was complaining about going. "It is so early in the morning, Mom," said SJ. I told him he would be fine. He ate some pancakes and I dropped him off at the high school. My husband picked him up and I saw him when I got home from my hair appointment. He was all smiles. Apparently, the 8th graders scrimmaged the 9th graders and SJ had one heck of a three point shot. Later on, Bob confirmed that two of his friends, who are on the 9th grade team, said his shot was AMAZING. So awesome to hear.


This week, SJ had his first real game. On Monday, they had an away game. Neither I nor my husband could attend that game. They lost to the away team. SJ texted me on his bus ride back. It was a pretty sad text.

"I didn't have fun at the game."

"Because I didn't get to play in the game :("

Reading that text made my head fill up with multiple scenarios (none of them good). 1. He could be crying. 2. He could be yelling at the other players. 3. He could be yelling at Mr. Hooper, the coach. When SJ got home, I asked him about the game. He was crying as he was asking me to email Mr. Hooper to ask why he didn't put him in the game. I tried to explain to him that Mr. Hooper can only have 5 players on the court at once and some of those other players have been playing a LONG time. I told him to keep practicing and hopefully the practice will make him better. "When you are better, you will get more playing time," I told him. I asked him if he was crying on the bus. He said no (hopefully that is true) and he said the Mr. Hooper apologized to him between the 8th and 7th grade games.

Yesterday, he had his first home game. I arrived when there was a little less than 5 minutes remaining. He was on the bench, but he seemed fine. I could see he was trying to get Mr. Hooper's attention to be put it. They were down 20 some points, so it wouldn't have mattered if he put some of the weaker players in at that point. SJ got in with 60 seconds left. He seemed much more engaged than at the last game. He was running with purpose. I could hear Mr. Hooper giving him direction and SJ was following his directions. He did get the ball once. He passed it to Topher, but unfortunately Topher's shot did not make it. SJ was all smiles when he came out of the gym.

On the way home, I talked to him about the game. He told me what I had missed and that he had been trying to get Mr. Hooper to put him in. He didn't seem to care that he only played for 60 seconds. He only cared that he got to play some basketball.



fine line between friendliness and caution

Two weeks ago, SJ started going to his basketball practices. On the first day of practice, I wrote him a note so that he could ride the bus from the middle school to the high school. I told him repeatedly that is where he was to go, since that is what the schedule indicated.


Around 3:30, I decided to verify pick up time from Topher's mom. She said she thought it was 6:00. I thought that was odd, since Open Gym had been ending at 4:45. She indicated that the 8th graders had practice starting at 4:45. She said she would text her son and then get back to me.  Instead of hearing from her, I received a text from Topher. He told me that I had to get SJ at the one elementary schools. Now, I was very confused. Why was he at South when he should have been at the high school? He sent me an additional text saying that SJ was at South because he took the wrong bus and then got driven to South by high school students. What?!?


I was in full-blown panic mode now. I asked Topher where he was. He replied that he was at home. He said he tried to stop SJ from getting on the bus to the high school and let him know he should be taking his regular bus home. He apologized saying that the bus driver wouldn't let Topher get out of line to tell SJ.


Next, I called my husband to see what the heck was going on. He told me to calm down. He said SJ had called and told him he was getting a ride, but he assumed that was with parents. He said he was in the office at South and that he was leaving work to pick him up. I texted SJ to see if he was still in the office at South. He replied that he was with the secretary. He said he took the wrong bus.  I told him that my husband was coming for him. I asked him who drove him to South. He simply texted, "Some high school kids. I thought practice was at South." I questioned who the kids were. I thought maybe he perhaps knew them. "Just two nice senior high kids," he texted back.


Almost immediately after I received that reply from SJ, I got a missed call from Mr. Hooper, the coach. I called him back and he was very upset (rightly so) with SJ. He said he didn't know why he went to the high school. I confessed that it was probably my fault, since I told him repeatedly to go there. Then, Mr. Hooper apologized because he hadn't given me the most recent schedule. He was also concerned that SJ would have gotten in a car with strangers (he didn't know them) and asked for a ride. He told me he found out from the Athletic Director that SJ was at South. He said SJ had yelled at the AD for changing the schedule. I told him we would have a lot to talk to SJ about that evening.


I then sent the AD an email to apologize for SJ's behavior. I explained that SJ was on the Spectrum (I wasn't sure if he knew that fact) and a change in schedule will really throw him off. He was very kind in his response stating that he was just trying to calm SJ down. He was understanding and patient with the situation, which I was extremely thankful for.


I called my husband to see if he had retrieved SJ yet. He said he had. He had asked him about the ride to South and asked why he would have asked those unknown kids for a ride. SJ said, "Well, they didn't look like bullies and they had an extra seat in their car." My husband explained to him that he shouldn't get into cars with kids he doesn't know (even if they have an extra seat). He told him he should have stayed at the high school until his practice began. Hopefully, he was really listening to my husband.


Everything was fine this time, but that situation could have ended much differently. Thank goodness those high school boys were good people and took him to South. They could have dropped him off anywhere or done something so much worse if they were different people. We spend so much time encouraging SJ to be social and talk to people. We have to instill in him that not everyone is a nice person and to be friendly but cautious.

there is no crying in basketball...

When I returned home from work on Tuesday, the boys were outside playing basketball. This actually made me very happy. Bob sometimes has to beg SJ to play with him and it is usually soccer (Bob's favorite, not SJ's). They continued to play for another 15 minutes after I got home. When they came in for dinner, SJ was crying. I asked him what happened. I thought that he and Bob got into an argument (normal brother stuff). However, he was upset about basketball.


Apparently, he had wanted to sign up for basketball, but never told either my husband or myself about it. He was crying so hard. He was almost inconsolable. It took me more than 10 minutes to get the whole story from SJ. From what I gathered, there was Open Gym that day after school for those interested in basketball. He was to sign up a few weeks earlier, but he forgot to bring the forms home. He didn't go to Open Gym, because I didn't give him a permission slip (can't give a slip for something that you know nothing about).


I told him I would investigate this basketball situation later. My husband was out of town, I had a bad day at work and I had received not so great news about my dad's illness. The basketball situation was not high on my priority list.  After I ate dinner, I called my friend whose son plays basketball. She gave me some information, but I needed to talk to someone at the school. Problem was the school was closed until tomorrow morning.


First thing the next morning, I called his middle school and talked to the receptionist. She said sign ups were a few weeks earlier, but she wasn't sure if it was still too late to sign up. She gave me a name of the teacher in charge of the basketball program. I sent him an email explaining the situation. He got back to me right away. He said that they would love to him. He reminded me that he would need to get a school physical to play hoops and gave me the name of the 8th grade coach. He suggested that I email him and the school nurse.


I called the school nurse to ask about the forms. She said she would find SJ and have him bring them home. After I was done speaking to her, I emailed the 8th grade coach, Mr. Hooper. He emailed me back saying to get the forms from the nurse. He also added that he would love to have him on the team.  I asked him if he could attend the next Open Gym without the physical. He said he is welcome to attend the Open Gym sessions without the forms. He just needs them for the first day of practice. He reminded me that there would be two more Open Gym sessions. I thanked him and called my husband to give him the good news.


Yesterday after school, he stayed for the Open Gym session. I had Topher's mom ride him home, because I knew I would not make it. He seemed very happy when I got home. I asked him how practice went. He said, "Fun, but sweaty. I will need to take a water bottle to practice." That was a good sign. He is thinking ahead.


That night, Mr. Hooper sent me an email to see how SJ liked practice. That was so nice and thoughtful of him. I asked him how he did. He said he did well for not playing before. He also told me that the other kids did an excellent job making him feel welcome. "So glad to hear," I responded.


Before I went to bed, I went to talk to SJ for a few minutes. I reminded him that he is just to have fun and not to take it too serious. I also told him, "Remember, there is no crying in basketball." He said, "I know, Mom." Hopefully, he is matured enough now that he will adhere to that when he gets frustrated. Always hoping for that.

8th grade tutoring #6

This past Monday, SJ once again had his after school tutoring with Mrs. Banks. They started a new book. It was Toilet Paper Tigers by Gordon Korman.

Mrs. Banks said he did a good job, but he was very distracted by his cell phone. At one point, she had to take his cell phone away from him. I told her that was fine with me. "Take his phone anytime," I told her. She replied with a simple, "Lol. I will."

After she had the phone, she said he was much more focused. She told me that he seemed to like the book. It has a lot of humor and baseball terminology. It also is filled with literal meanings that he has to figure out. She said this book is much more complicated that the last novel.

Besides the phone distraction, I was glad to hear that he was able to pay attention and work on some more challenging skills. Maybe we need a cell phone jail for tutoring sessions. Just a thought.

trick or treat 2015

Last Saturday was Halloween. Even though the boys are teenagers, I still encourage them to go trick or treating. SJ wore his Johnny Cage costume (of course) and Bob decided to wear his horse head mask (don't ask...I don't get it). Bob had a soccer friend, Fisher, come over a couple of hours before trick or treating started. I asked Bob and SJ if they would like him to join them. They wanted him to stay, so I had him ask his mom if it was ok. She was fine with it, but he didn't have a costume. Fortunately, he was in his soccer clothes, so he was already kind of in a costume.


Bob's friend Dickie was coming up to our neighborhood to join the three boys. They started out in our neighborhood, which is fairly small. When they were done, I had my husband drive them over to another small neighborhood that is near ours. Dickie had to go home after that, since his dad was having a Halloween party at his house.


After they dropped off Dickie, they returned to our house to get Fisher's stuff. When they got to Fisher's neighborhood, the three boys decided to trick or treat for the third time in Fisher's neighborhood (yet another small neighborhood). When they returned home with my husband, they both had quite a haul. SJ doesn't eat chocolate, so he was willing to give Bob all of his Reese's cups.


We were invited to a bonfire, but both boys were too tired (and probably too sick from all the candy) to go. We stayed at home and watched old monster movies. What a great way to end Halloween night!


Before I sign off, we were also ding, dong, ditched by some of the neighbor kids. Fortunately, they only rang the bell and ran. The next day, we saw that they actually left us a bag of candy. That was the nicest ding, dong, ditch that I ever saw. Happy Halloween all!

Halloween Dance 2015

Two Fridays ago, SJ went to the Middle School Halloween Dance. It was optional to go in costume, but I was informed that most of the students would be in costume. That was a relief, since I knew SJ would definitely want to be in costume.












He was going as Johnny Cage from the Mortal Kombat video games. This is a pic I found of the character.

                                           

He had my husband take him to Wal-mart to look for costume pieces. He ended up with a gray hoodie (which we had to cut off the arms) and gray sweatpants. He paired those pieces with sunglasses, his weight lifting gloves and a t-shirt. He was not an exact copy, but it was close enough for a Halloween costume.

We talked to SJ about "dance behavior". We also tried to give some advice about talking to/dancing with girls (always what a teenager wants to hear from his "old" parents). He was ready to go, so we dropped him off at the Middle School. My husband and I only had a few hopes for the evening.

1. He would have fun.

2. He wouldn't be crying when we picked him up.

3. He would ask a girl to dance or at least talk to a girl.

4. If the girl declined his invitation, he wouldn't be too upset over it.

We went to a local restaurant with our friends (whose kids were also at the dance) and had good food and great conversation. We stayed at the restaurant so long that we almost closed the place. After we left, we got into the very long line of parents waiting to pick up their kiddos. I saw SJ from a distance and he seemed happy (yeah!).

When he got in our car, he was answering all (too many for SJ's liking) of my questions. Yes, he asked a girl to dance. No, she didn't dance with him. Yes, they had snacks. No, he didn't have any since "we" forgot to give him money (he didn't tell us he needed any).

He did tell us that he spoke to one girl in particular at the end of the evening. He said she told him she liked his costume and they had some small talk. He seemed pleased that they had this nice little conversation. He then told us that he would really like to hold a girl's hand sometime. Awww, my heart started to melt when I heard that. Soon enough my son, soon enough.

8th grade tutoring #4 and #5

I am going to begin this entry with an apology. Sorry it has been almost one month since my last post.  It is not as if I had nothing to post, but life was just getting in the way. Moving on...






SJ had his weekly reading tutoring session with Mrs. Banks. She said he did really well at that session. She told me that they are almost finished with the book and would most likely finish it at their next session.




She said that she selected a book that was going to have harder skills to challenge SJ. I was happy to hear that. She does a great job selecting books that are just above his ability level and they are always entertaining to SJ. He doesn't complain too much if the book is enjoyable.




At the next session, they finished the book. She left a comprehension packet for me to look over. She said he began the session well, but he kept getting off topic. She told me that he wasn't really interested in discussing the book. Instead, he wanted to tell her about YouTube videos (SJ's favorite thing to talk about.) She wasn't really complaining about the video discussion, but she wanted me to know that he was a little difficult to keep focused. She reminded me that they would be starting a new book at their next session.

8th grade tutoring #3

This past Monday, SJ again had his weekly tutoring session with Mrs. Banks. She had texted me to let me know she would be arriving at our house at 3:45. I texted him and told him to open the garage door for her. He must not have seen my text (or ignored it), so she came to the front door when she arrived. My husband was home, so he let her in. 


As soon as their session started, she texted me to let me know that SJ lost his planner. SJ was probably in a tiss about this. This can be a big deal, since they use their planners for more than just writing down their homework assignments.  Any time they need to use the restroom during the school day, they need to have their teacher sign their planner to use it as a hall pass. Also, they use it on Fridays when they meet with their advisory group. (Advisory group is a small group of kids that meet with an assigned teacher. She/he goes over their grades and discusses other school related topics with them.) I texted Mrs. Banks and told her we would check his room when I returned home. She must have relayed that information to him, because she immediately texted back that he said it wasn't in his room. I replied that we would find it and told him to focus on tutoring.


She said that once he began to focus he did very well. She stated that he's finally really getting this book down pat. She noted that they are almost finished with the book and will probably complete it at the next session. She told me that they have been working on prepositions and prepositional phrases. She remarked that he is really understanding the preposition activities. She also has been having him work on writing sentences and finishing his thoughts. She did add that she had to scold him about his handwriting. She expressed that it is getting really tough to read (not a surprise to me) his handwriting.


Since the following Monday is Columbus Day, school will not be in session. My policy is a school day is a school day off, so no tutoring that day. She will be back to tutor him in two Mondays.


FYI-The planner was found the next day in his advisory teacher's room. (I had suggested that he might have left it there after advisory group was over...mom is always right!)

8th grade tutoring #2

Two Mondays ago, SJ had another tutoring session with Mrs. Banks. I was worried that he would be uncooperative for her. He had been complaining about a cold that he was suffering from over the weekend. She said she was pleased with how well he did considering that he was miserable from his cold and runny nose.


She said they finished three chapters. She mentioned that he is really understanding the literal meaning within the chapters. That is a huge improvement for him.


She told me she would be starting his session a little later the following Monday, since she will be having a faculty meeting after school. I told her that would be no problem for SJ. That would be more tv or computer time for him.  I just asked her to leave me the schedule, so I can remind SJ when his sessions would be starting later. She said she would bring that the next session.

middle school open house

Last Thursday was SJ's Open House at his middle school. Initially, I did not think I would be able to go. Bob had a scheduled junior varsity soccer game at the same time, so my husband was going to go to the Open House. Fortunately (not for Bob), his game got cancelled, so I was able to go. I was so excited to go since it is a brand new building. It is beautiful, state-of-the-art and air-conditioned!


When you attend these Open Houses, they are very different from the elementary schools. First, the student does not attend. Second, you follow your child's schedule as if it was a regular school day. The teacher explains the class in general. There is no individual discussions about your child. You get about 8 minutes in each class with a few minutes in between for travel time.


SJ's homeroom/first period is Communications with Mr. Turtle. Bob enjoyed this teacher last year, so I have a feeling SJ will as well. Second period is Social Studies with Mr. Eastwood. Bob had him in 7th grade and he was one of his favorite teachers. Third period is Science with Mr. Beeker. He and Mr. Eastwood seem to be so excited about the subject that they teach that they made me miss school (well, only for a second). Mr. Beeker conducted two quick experiments while we were in his room. Very exciting.


Fourth period is either Industrial Tech (shop class if you went to school before the Millennium) or Art. Both teachers, Mr. Wood and Mrs. Thomas, explained their classes in half the time that the full period teachers got. I am sure SJ will enjoy both of these classes. Fifth period is Computer Concepts with Mrs. Chip or Gym with Mrs. Cali. I only went to the Computer Concepts class, since Mrs. Cali was not in attendance. SJ had Mrs. Chip last year for Keyboarding, so he is already very comfortable with her. He also already had Mrs. Cali last year as well.


Sixth period is lunch for SJ. The cafeteria was so modern and clean looking. It reminded me of a cafeteria that you would see in a sitcom. Seventh period is Study Skills with Mrs. Cram. Since I thought SJ was the only student in her class (I later found out there is another 8th grader with him now), I could actually talk to her about SJ. She seemed very pleased with how he was working with her. She told me she has been doing some connect the dots puzzles that had a lot of numbers (more than 500). She said he really enjoyed them. When she asked me about his interest, I told her he loved puzzles, pointillism and comics. She was going to try to incorporate them in the Study Skills class. She also said he was working well with the other student. That was great to hear!


SJ's last two periods of the day of actual classes are both co-taught classes. I love the co-taught classes. To begin with, they are smaller. With the extra teacher on hand, the students gets a much more individualized experience. That is hugely beneficial to students who struggle. In eighth period, SJ has Pre-Algebra with both Mr.Timmers (learning support teacher) and Mrs. Gent. Bob had Mrs. Gent for both Algebra 1 and 2, so I am very familiar with her. SJ had Mr. Timmers (love him) last year for general math. Mrs. Gent asked me about Bob and told me that the boys are very different. She said she has enjoyed having him in class so far this year. Glad to hear!  Ninth period is English that is co-taught by Mrs. Hazelnut (learning support teacher) and Mrs. Trundle. Bob never had Mrs. Trundle, but I knew her from working with her children in kindergarten. SJ had Mrs. Hazelnut last year in his co-taught Reading and English classes. She is very bubbly, but can be stern and keeps the students focused. Mrs. Trundle told me that SJ has been keeping her on her toes. She forgot to put something on the board the other day and he was the first one to point it out. She said he is very conscientious!

At the end of the day during tenth period, SJ has a study hall for this nine weeks. During other nine weeks, he will have electives. He is scheduled for either TV Media, Competitive Edge (gym class) or Computer Programming.

8th grade tutoring #1

Two Mondays ago, SJ had his first after school tutoring session as an eighth grader. Mrs. Banks got to our house at 3:30 to begin their session. My husband was out of town, so he was responsible for letting her in. I was a little concerned that he would forget, but luckily he did not. Mrs. Banks reported that he was ready for her when she got there.


They continued reading "The Wayside School is Falling Down". Mrs. Banks said that SJ did a great job. She told me that he ate his snack while they read a couple of chapters.  After they finished their reading, they worked on tricky puzzle that went along with the story. She said he was very cooperative.


I thanked her for giving me such a nice report. I am hoping that he will continue to be cooperative as the year goes on.

first day of eighth grade

Last Tuesday was SJ's and Bob's first day of school. Bob moved up to the high school, which has ninth through twelfth grades.  Normally, SJ would have stayed in the junior high for eighth grade, but our district was building a brand new middle school. That building will now be home to our sixth through eighth graders. Bob was a little jealous that SJ was getting to go to such a nice, new school (with air conditioning to boot!), but SJ will only be there for one year.


When my husband took him to orientation, he did have one fairly noticeable meltdown. He got very upset over the fact that he was assigned to Bus Group 2 instead of Bus Group 1. Why would this simple fact make SJ lose it in the middle of the orientation? Your guess is as good as ours. My husband was embarrassed that our 13 year old would burst into tears over a 5 minute wait between bus groups. When these situations happen, it is like a bomb goes off in SJ. They are not reasonable or rational and they are never fun. This is when his uniqueness (and not the positive uniqueness) becomes a flashing light in a dark hall.


My husband dropped SJ off at home and joined me at Bob's Spirit Night. He told me all about the tantrum and how frustrating it was. When I returned home with Bob, I told SJ that his behavior was unacceptable. I also told him that I would take his phone for a week the next time he had a meltdown like that. Hopefully, that is enough to keep his emotions in check.


Usually first days are tough for SJ. This year, we didn't have any of last year's anxieties over SJ going to school. He wouldn't be riding a bus for the first time, he wouldn't be using a locker for the first time and he wouldn't have to change clothes for gym for the first time. My husband said he seemed fairly relaxed that morning when he walked to the bus stop (this was the first year I missed it, since I have a full time job now).  I was a little concerned about the lunch situation, but that can be stressful for all kids.  And I was especially worried that he would tantrum again over being in Bus Group 2.


When he got home, my husband asked him how his day went. His only comment was that he was the only student in Study Skills (a guided study hall). I asked my husband if he mentioned the Bus Group or lunch. "No, he only was upset that he was the only kid in study skills and has it in the sixth grade wing," said my husband.   I got home an hour later. I questioned SJ about lunch. He was excited about who he was sitting with, so that was a bonus. Should I ask about bus group? Nah, I better just let it end on a good note.

summer speech session #9

Last Tuesday, SJ had his bi-weekly speech therapy session. At the beginning of his session, I told his therapist that we were going to have to move his sessions to a night other than Tuesday (Bob has soccer games on Tuesday nights). While he was in his session, I asked the receptionist about the change of days. She said they didn't have anything open at the present time, but she would let me know when an open slot occurred.


When SJ was finished, his therapist said they continued working on the testing. She said that took most of his session's time. It is focusing on social interactions with others. She feels that he needs more of the conversational speech training and social interaction training, so that is what his new therapist will work on going forward. I agree with her 100%. She also said that he chatted with her about his friend, Brennan, moving away. He told her he was sad that he had to move away (we were all sad about that).


I told her his next session will be his last Tuesday. I hope he gets a new night slot soon, but SJ will enjoy his slight "vacation" from speech for the time being.

summer reading session #11

Last Tuesday, SJ was very grumpy when my dad had to wake him to get ready for his reading session with Mrs. Banks.  He woke him 45 minutes before he had to be there (9:15 a.m.), but SJ was not happy with having to get up "so early". I guess he is really becoming a teenager!  (He is going to be in for all sorts of trouble when he has to start getting up at 6 for the school bus.)


Mrs. Banks told me that SJ was furious with my dad and was complaining about him a lot at the start of their session.  She said once she got him to stop complaining about "Pap" he was very attentive. She said he is starting to really enjoy the silliness of the book. She was impressed that he was even pointing out the impossible parts of the story to her. SJ said they read about three chapters during the session. 


She also told me that she gave SJ a suggestion to avoid fighting with my dad the next Tuesday.  She told him to set the alarm on his phone and then his grandfather wouldn't have to bother him to wake him up. Wonder if he will listen to her and try her suggestion? I guess we will have to wait until tomorrow to find out.

summer speech session #8

Also on last Tuesday, SJ had his bi-weekly speech therapy session. I had my dad tell him to be ready to go as soon as I got home from work. SJ was arguing with my dad and I (over text messages) that he didn't have speech this week. I informed that indeed he did and he would need to be ready to go at 5:30.  He was more than a little crabby on the route from our house to speech therapy. I reminded him that there would be McDonald's waiting for him when his session was over. That softened his mood slightly.


His therapist told me she was going to do some testing on him for most of the session. She said it had been quite some time since anyone had tested him. I told her that would be fine and reminded her that he may want to tell her about our vacation.


When he came out, she told me that he did very well. She said she only got through a portion of the testing, since SJ was so excited to tell her about his vacation adventures. Initially, he was monopolizing the conversation, but then he remembered to include her. He would ask her, "Have you ever zip lined?" after he was talking about doing that. He also asked her if she has been to the beach and if she liked it. She was very happy that she didn't have to give him a lot of prompts to have him engage her in the conversation. That is definitely progress!

summer reading session #10

Last Tuesday, SJ was back at Mrs. Banks' house for his reading tutoring session. She started a new book with him. It is "Wayside School is Falling Down" by Louis Sachar.


Mrs. Banks said that he was really interested in discussing the book and, of course, our vacation. She told me this is a sequel to a book read in 6th grade reading class.


She noted that he was having some difficulty with understanding some of the humorous concepts such as "There are dead rats living in the basement." She said he didn't understand that sentence at all. She further added that she had to explain it in detail for him to grasp the concept.


I told her that I know that is a tough concept for him to understand. She agreed and said that is why she decided to use this book in the summer since she would have more time to teach him these non-literal concepts.


When I returned home from work, I asked SJ about his reading session. He said, "It was fine. That is a funny book." I am glad he is enjoying it despite some of the troubles he is having with the comprehension. Hopefully, next week it will be a little easier for him.

heading to the beach, baby!

Last Friday night (very early in the a.m.), we began our journey to Myrtle Beach. We drove to our first destination, Pinehurst, N.C. That part of the road trip took about 9 1/2 hours. We stopped a few times for bathroom breaks and for snacks, but it is still a LONG drive. After we arrived at Pinehurst, we checked into our very nice hotel room and relaxed. The boys (SJ, Bob and Bob's friend, Rico) binge watched some "South Park" and then went to enjoy the hotel's pool.  We went out to a pizza place for dinner and just hung out in the hotel for the evening.


Saturday morning, we woke up and had a yummy breakfast in the hotel before continuing our journey to Myrtle Beach. We drove for another 2 1/2 hours to our destination of Ocean Lakes Campground in South Myrtle. Our house wasn't ready yet, so we drove to the beach. After quickly changing into our suits, we all were in the ocean (even me). The water was lovely. It was warm, yet refreshing. We stayed in the water for almost two hours and then I got a phone call that our house was ready. We drove our car the half mile to our vacation house. It was a three bedroom beach house on stilts. It was nice, but it needed some TLC. 

After unpacking, my husband and the boys hung out at the house while I went to Walmart for groceries and supplies. When I returned, we went back to the beach for another 90 minutes. The water was still warm and the sand had cooled down a little. For dinner that night, we chose to eat at Meet 'n Eat, the snack shop at the campground. Everyone was happy with that plan. After dinner, we went back to the beach house and the boys started a puzzle. That was enough for our first day.

Sunday was another beautiful day. While everyone else was sleeping, I took a long walk before it got too hot out. I made breakfast for everyone when I returned. The boys slept fairly late, but they were exhausted from all the driving. After the boys woke up and ate, we went down to the beach. The water was just as nice as the day before, so we played in the surf for hours. That evening, we went out to dinner at the River City Café. It is a great dive place to eat (burgers, chicken, salads) and you can write on anything and everything. It was still hot out after dinner, so we went back to the beach. That evening, the waves were huge, which the boys immensely enjoyed.

Monday was our Wonder Works day. What a great day!  We got the Adrenaline Pack, so we could enjoy the science center as well as the zip line and rope course that were right next to it outside. We did the science center first. The boys loved it. We did many of the exhibits (including the Bed of Nails), the inside rope course and played laser tag. When we got outside, we had a little wait until the zip line and rope course opened. There were these bubble roller balls that you could get in on the lake. The boys wanted to try them, so we let them. They had a blast in them and my husband and I enjoyed a refreshment while we waited for them.  Next, we went over to the zip line area. I couldn't believe that Bob was going to attempt this (he is afraid of heights), but he surprisingly did. SJ and I did the zip line while Bob, Rico and my husband did the rope course. The zip line was awesome and everyone (but me) loved the rope course too. 

                

On our way back to the house, we stopped at McDonald's drive thru for a late lunch. After the boys rested in the house, we again went back down to the ocean. The water was still great. Since we had such a big day, we decided to just make dinner at the house. The boys wanted to go to the arcade on the campground, so they spent their time and a little money doing what they do best: being video game zombies.

Tuesday was our day at Myrtle Waves. This is a local waterpark. Again, Bob surprised us by doing many of the scary water slides. I was so proud of him. Rico is a good influence. We let Rico and Bob walk around by themselves while SJ, my husband and I did our own thing. It a little crowded, but not so crowded that SJ complained much. Everyone had a great day at the waterpark. 

              

That night, we decided to go to our first of three miniature golf courses. We went to Mt. Atlanticus (this is a favorite of the boys). Rico really liked it and we only had to speak to SJ a few times when he got upset about losing a hole.  After mini golf, we again ate at Meet 'n Eat and then the boys went back to the arcade. They are getting older now, so we let the three of them walk back to the house without us.

Wednesday was a low key day. We started our day by going to the beach. Rico and Bob were tired, so they stayed at the house while SJ, my husband and I went to the beach. After we returned to the house, Bob decided he wanted to go mini-golfing again. I took him and Rico to Gilligan's Island Mini-Golf. It was so hot while we golfing that I thought we were going to pass out. We stopped at a souvenir shop after mini-golf to browse and to cool off. Rico did buy a few things while we were there. While we were golfing, SJ was enjoying the indoor skate park at the campground. He told us they had a "warped wall" there where he and some of the other boys were trying to run up it. We tried to go out to dinner that night to Drunken Jacks, but the wait was way too long. Instead, we went to Chick-Fil-A and got take out. The boys were happy about that. That evening, they again went to the arcade. They came home with a ton of tickets!

On Thursday, the boys were "bored" with the beach, so we drove up to Myrtle and did a little go-carting (well, the boys and my husband did). I went to the Hollywood Wax Museum instead. The boys liked the go-carting, but it was so hot there. Bob and Rico decided to do some mini-golfing, which was also at the go-cart place. SJ and my husband continued to go-cart. As long as everyone was doing something that they enjoy, I was happy. We went out to dinner that night at a place called Sticky Fingers. It was very good. Rico got a burger, the boys got chicken finger meals and my husband and I got bbq. After dinner, we stopped at two shops to do some more souvenir shopping. Everyone got something and Rico bought tons of stuff for his family (a very generous kid). That evening, the boys went to the arcade and then we joined in the go-cart parade. So much fun!

Friday was our last full day in Myrtle. They were calling for rain in the afternoon, so we decided to hit the beach first thing. The water was considerably colder that last day, but still enjoyable for us. Bob and I sat on the shore while my husband, Rico and SJ were swimming in the water. At one point, I thought I saw a shark's fin. There had been many shark attacks in Outer Banks, NC, so it was alarming to even think there were sharks near my family. Bob pointed out that it was a dolphin, so I relaxed. It was actually 3 dolphins and they were about 100 feet further out than the swimmers. Very cool!  After two hours, we decided to leave the beach. The boys wanted to do one more mini-golf course. We went to Cancun Lagoon, which had half of the golf course inside the "temple". It was a very fun mini-golf course, so I am glad they suggested it. On our way back to the house, the boys decided that we should go to the arcade one last time. They played the last $20 worth of tokens and cashed in their massive amount of tickets. SJ had the least (4,000ish), Bob had around 6,000 and Rico had the most at over 8,000. They took a long time to decide on their prize choices. When we started back to the house in the golf cart, it started to pour. And by pour, I mean it was a torrential downpour. We were soaked! The rain eventually stopped, so we did the golf cart parade one last time. What a wonderful week we had. It was so nice to get away and to try some things that we had never tried before. Goodbye Myrtle!

summer speech session #7

The Tuesday before we left for the beach SJ had his speech therapy session.  SJ had spent a few days with my parents while Bob was away at a soccer camp. I had my parents meet me at the therapy site. SJ was in a fairly good mood when he arrived. Before they started their session, I quickly told his therapist that we would be leaving for the beach in a few days as a source for conversational speech work. 


When he came out of his session, he was still in a good mood. She said he was very chatty about going on vacation. They spent some of the therapy time talking about things he was planning on doing at the beach and he told her that his friend was probably not going to make it due to an ear infection. He was pretty bummed about that. 


After they were done talking about vacation, they worked on a Figurative Language & Exclusion activity.  She had him read a story. When he was done, he needed to identify the main idea, specific details, emotions and idioms. She told me she chose this activity since SJ loves idioms. She said he did well with finding the idioms and emotions, but he was struggling some with telling her the main idea. She will continue to work on this with him.  Here is an example of one of the stories:

                          

There were four stories that they worked on. He had the same struggles with each story. This will have to be a concept that she will be addressing at additional sessions. She told me to tell him to have a great time on vacation and was looking forward to hearing his stories when he returned.

summer reading session #9

This Tuesday SJ had his weekly tutoring session with Mrs. Banks.  They began the session by reviewing Chapters 7-9, since SJ wasn't paying much attention to the book at the last session. After they reviewed those chapters, they read from Chapter 10 to the end of the book. 

Mrs. Banks said he did very well today. She said he was happy and seemed well rested. (I encouraged him to go to bed before midnight Monday night.)  She said they finished the comprehension questions without a problem. She hoped that SJ would tell me all about it when I got home from work. (He happily did.) She told me that she felt SJ really enjoyed the book.  So glad to hear that!

Then, she reminded me that SJ will have two weeks off while she is vacationing at the beach. (We will also be at the beach one of those weeks.) When she returns, she said she would have a new book for SJ to start reading with her.  Hopefully, he will like it as much as "Lawn Boy".

summer speech session #6

SJ had missed two speech sessions in June. My husband was supposed to take him to his sessions, but he was out-of-town on business. I wasn't able to take him either, since I wouldn't have been home from work in time to transport him to speech. I had to call to cancel those first two appointments.

Last Tuesday, my husband was out-of-town again, but luckily I made it home in time to get SJ to speech. Before she took him back, I told her about the talent show, his end of the year grades, our upcoming trip to our friends' lake house and how summer was going in general.

She thanked me for the information and took him back for his session. When he came out, she said he did very well. She said they talked for a while about the events of the end of the school year. She said he was very chatty (sometimes too chatty) and had to remind him occasionally to let her take a turn in the conversation.

Since they spent most of their session catching up, they didn't get to any additional speech work. She seemed okay with that, because having SJ practice his conversational speech is a necessary skill in his social development.

I apologized again for the cancelled appointments and told her we would see her in two weeks.

summer reading session #8

Two weeks ago, SJ again had tutoring with Mrs. Banks. Apparently, he was very tired that morning. My dad had a lot of trouble waking him to get ready to go to Mrs. Banks' house. He was very irritated with "Pappy" that morning.

Mrs. Banks said when SJ arrived at her house he was very antsy.  He told her that he was irritated with my dad for waking him up to come to tutoring. After a few minutes, she was able to get him to settle down enough to read. She told me that he wasn't interested in sitting in a chair at all and she had to repeatedly remind him to put his cell phone away.

With his irritation and non-cooperation, she felt that he missed some of the major parts of the chapters that they were reading (Chapters 7-9). She told me not to worry. She planned on reviewing those chapters at their next session.

I felt horrible that he was so difficult for her. I apologized and told her I would talk to him. She seemed unfazed by his behavior. She has already raised three teenagers and is a sixth grade teacher. She told me not to worry about it. Bless her!

summer reading session #7

At SJ's next tutoring session, they continued to read more of "Lawn Boy". Mrs. Banks texted me after the session and told me that he did well during their session. However, she did note that he was extra fidgety and was full of jokes from YouTube videos.

Even with all of his fidgeting, she said he is still understood the story. She said they read a few more chapters and she had him answer comprehension questions that came from Chapters 4-6.

She said SJ was comprehending the concept of making money in the story, but he declared that he really doesn't want to work to get money as the boy in the story is doing. I wasn't the least bit surprised by that comment. Both Bob and SJ are fairly lazy.  Boys!

summer reading session #6

A few weeks ago, SJ started his summer reading sessions with Mrs. Banks. He is supposed to do the sessions at her house. She asked if she could come to our house, since she was dog sitting some extra dogs at her house (SJ is semi-afraid of big dogs). I told her that would be fine and I told my dad that she would be arriving around 10:00 AM.  They were beginning a new book. It is called "Lawn Boy" by Gary Paulsen. 

The story is about a 12 year old boy who decides to use his Grandpa's riding tractor to earn some extra money cutting neighbors' lawns. The boy's business grows and he learns about capitalism in a very funny way.

Mrs. Banks said he started out the session a little crabby. She said he stomped down our basement stairs while muttering something about "Why do I have to have tutoring?" and then just looked at her and said "Let's do this." 

She said he did a great job after that. She said they had very insightful discussions about the book. She told me that he would be learning about the stock market next week in the book. She also had him write answers to the questions that she had in the comprehension pack.

I am glad he worked hard for her. I had to remind him to go to bed a little earlier the next Monday night so he wouldn't be so tired and crabby. I needed good luck getting a teenager to go to bed early on a summer evening. 

summer begins...sorta

Summer officially began for the boys on June 9th. That meant that they could sleep in and begin their lazy days. I started a job that is not on their schedule. I didn't want them to be home alone, so I hired my dad, Pappy to the boys, to come hang out with them. He is to get them their lunch (I don't trust them to use the stove), drive SJ to Mrs. Banks' house for tutoring, get Bob to soccer practice and, most importantly, to get SJ to the pool.


Unfortunately, that first week of summer, the weather was acting more like fall. It was cold (high 60's and rainy). So much for Pappy taking SJ to the pool. He did make them lunch (with SJ and Bob showing how to turn the stove on) and made sure they did the few items that I assigned as their chores.


On Thursday, SJ went home with Pappy, since Bob had a soccer tournament that weekend. SJ is not a soccer fan.  He had a great time with my parents. He went out to lunch several times, out to dinner once, went bowling with Pappy and mini-golf with Grammy (my mom). I allowed him to take his PS3 with him, since my parents' backyard is tore up due to construction. My mom said he set it up in my old room and was using that room as a chill out room.


We returned from the soccer tournament on Sunday. It was still raining (SJ had hoped to go to the pool that day) when I met them at the mall to retrieve SJ. SJ had impatiently texted me several times on my way to the mall. I reminded him on the car ride home that I got there as quickly as I could and he needs to be more patient.


I asked him if he had fun with Grammy and Pappy and he chatted away about all the things that they did. So, even though he hasn't been to the pool much, he is still having a fun start to summer.

last day of 7th grade

SJ had his last day of seventh grade on June 8th. I couldn't believe yet another school year was finished. Normally, he would be returning to the junior high for eighth grade, but our district is closing the existing junior high building and constructing a sixth through eighth grade middle school. That is where he will be attending next year.


I have to be honest with you. I was very stressed about him going to junior high. Seventh and eighth grade are emotionally hard for all kids, but add in a PDD-NOS diagnosis and the difficulty multiplies. I was expecting a lot of teacher emails/phone calls about potentially bad behavior. I was pleasantly surprised that I never got any. Not a one. I was told during a parent/teacher conference that SJ could be grumpy about going to speech therapy and doing homework at home. Other than that, I only heard praises from all of his teachers.  His learning support teachers were so instrumental in his success. He had a lady (Mrs. Hazelnut) that co-taught in his reading and English class and a man (Mr. Timmers) who co-taught his math class and helped him during study skills. They were both wonderful (although SJ preferred Mr. Timmers). 


They had a half day on their last day. I kept wanted to send in something for these two wonderful teachers: a handwritten note, a gift card or a baked good. Time got away from me, though. I decided to write each of them an email (I know that it is not as personal, but better than nothing) to tell them how much my husband and I appreciated them. It was the least I could do.


The next day, I received a reply email from Mr. Timmers. It was one of the nicest emails that I ever received from any of SJ's teachers.


"You don't have to thank me. SJ was a huge part of his own success here at the junior high. He really came into his own here. I'm looking forward to working with him next year. He's going to do really well in 8th grade."


I am so proud of how far SJ has come. Sometimes, I think back to his diagnosis at 2 1/2. Would I have imagined SJ as the incredible young man that he is now? There were so many unknowns then. I wasn't sure if he would be able to function in traditional school. Would he always have to have someone with him to assist him? Would he have friends other than Bob? Would he be able to learn traditional school subjects and retain that knowledge? How would he fit into the social structure of school?


So, we are now 10+ years passed his diagnosis date. He is in traditional school. He is succeeding academically (all A's and 2 B's with a GPA of 3.79). He is in some co-taught classes, but this was his first year without a full-time aide. He has a few good friends (which is all any of us need). He was on Student Council, went to all three dances and performed awesomely at the Talent Show. He has exceeded my expectations by leaps and bounds.


If I look ahead 5 years to when he graduates high school, I look at his future with great optimism. I know he is going to continue to surprise us (in a good way) with his success. What a great year this was for him!

junior high talent show

As you know if you have been reading this blog, SJ was going to enter the Talent Show at his junior high. You also know that all of us, except SJ, were anxious and worried about his performance. Would he mumble the lyrics? Would he sing off key? Would he get laughed at by his peers?  That whole morning I was a ball of stress over SJ's performance.


I sent two of his teachers an email to see how he did. Unfortunately, they did not get back to me. (I am sure they were busy, but I was "dying".) This caused me more stress. I was hoping that one of them would videotape him, but I would have to wait and see. 


Around 3:30, I got an voicemail from Meryl's mom. She said, "I think SJ had a really good performance. Meryl said that everyone was clapping and he even had a standing O. I asked her if people were clapping for real or were they mocking him and she said they were clapping for real. Be proud and shed a few happy tears, because SJ did a great job."


That was one of the best voicemails that I got in my life. A short while later, I heard from Topher's and Willie's mom who said that SJ was awesome in the Talent Show. I immediately called my husband to relay the wonderful news. He was so happy that he was almost crying in elation.


My husband got home before I did and congratulated SJ on his incredible performance. SJ didn't want to talk about it much, but he did say that the "kids enjoyed it". I gave him a big hug and told him how proud we were of him. He said he didn't know if he would win (results were going to be announced on Monday morning). I reminded him that he won by just being courageous and trying.


That evening, I got an email from one of his teachers reiterating that SJ did an awesome job.  I put a post on social media since I could hardly contain my pride. I got many reply messages from parents who said their kids really enjoyed SJ's act. That gave me such pure happiness.


All the worry over judgmental teenagers was for not. I am sure there were still a few stinkers that can't focus on the positive, but I will only focus on the fact that my child with PDD-NOS got on a stage, sang his original lyrics, made students smile and stand up for him. That gives me hope that others like SJ can pursue their dreams regardless of potential bullies or mean spirited souls. SJ is a testament to the fact that just because you have a label, it doesn't mean your diagnosis is one size fits all. So proud of our awesome son!

after school speech 13

Two Tuesdays ago, my husband took SJ to his after school speech session. He told SJ's therapist about the upcoming Talent Show. She said she would address this during the session. Before they began to talk about the Talent Show, they continued to work on Idioms. This is always a favorite skill for SJ to work on. She said he did fairly well with the Idiom practice. She suggested to my husband that we continue to work on these at home with him. My husband told her that we would and he printed out the 25 most common idioms for us to practice at home.


Next, she asked him about the Talent Show. He told her what his act was (parody rap) and that he was a little nervous to perform. She asked him what made him nervous and he listed off four items:

• Forgetting the words
• Others may make fun of me
• Music will be loud
• I might mumble

Then, they discussed strategies for him to try to lessen his worry for each of the items. First, for forgetting the words, she suggested the following strategies:

• He can practice A LOT!
• He can practice by himself.
• He can practice in front of others.

Second, for the worry of others making fun of him, she told him to try:

• He can practice in front of others and ask them what they think.
• He can take advice from your audience when you practice.

Third, for the music possibly being too loud, she proposed:

• He could wear ear plugs to protect his ears and make the sounds quieter.
• He could ask the staff to make his music and microphone quieter when he performs.
• He could practice with loud music.

Last, for the mumbling of his speech, she recommended:

• He should speak clearly.
• He should speak loudly.
• He should take his time when talking.

I thought she gave him excellent strategies to ease his nervousness and possible stage fright. We had him practice in front of us and by himself many times before the Talent Show and we reminded him to reread his note cards several times. I hope these strategies work and he will get through the performance successfully.

a lose, lose situation

Ok, this is going to be a long one. I apologize in advance. Apparently, there is a Talent Show at Bob and SJ's junior high. SJ just told us about it a couple of weeks ago. He was going to do a puppet show with his one friend, but Bob strongly suggested that would be "way too young" for a seventh grader to do. I was still concerned that SJ was going to do that act. What Bob said must have resonated with SJ, since he is now not doing the puppet show. I thought we were done with this topic after that, but I was wrong.


A week ago, SJ announced to us at dinner that he was going to be singing at the Talent Show. Singing? I think we were all in shock. Yes, we hear SJ sing from time to time in his room, but he has never expressed any interest in singing in public.  He had to stay after school last Thursday to tryout. What if he is awful? If he was awful, then the teacher would say something hopefully. I thought maybe he would be cut and that would be the end of it, but I was still wrong.


SJ came home and said the kids told him that he was great. However, the next day, Bob told my husband that a nice, kind friend of his (who was at the audition), said SJ did not do such a great job. Bob was worried that the kids would pick on SJ and additionally pick on him. Then, Bob proceeded to tell my husband that some of the students have been teasing him about SJ. He said that he thinks most of them don't know that SJ has Autism and they just think he is "weird" (this breaks my heart to even type this).  He said that SJ walks through the halls and makes weird faces and does some gross behaviors (we were aware that he had been occasionally doing these behaviors) a lot. My husband told Bob he would talk to him about the behaviors, but Bob said he never listens. 


Bob then began his campaign to discourage SJ from participating in the Talent Show. Bob was getting very upset just thinking about SJ performing and getting made fun of. He kept telling him that most of the kids who are performing have "actual talents". SJ wasn't listening to Bob at all. Bob then went to my husband and I with his concerns. While I appreciate him thinking of his brother, some of the dialogue he was using was making my role as SJ's mom hard to hear. He was being a frustrated teenager, so I tried to not take it personally (a hard feat). I also felt so bad for Bob. It must be so difficult to have a brother that is different and easily picked on. Bob is very shy and just wants to blend in. Having SJ for a brother makes that very hard for him.


My husband and I talked that evening. I thought maybe we should discourage SJ from doing the show. Bob did have some valid points. Most of the kids performing have been taking lessons for years, such as the dancers and the musical acts. We decided to contact the teacher in charge to see how his performance was. I sent her an email yesterday morning and she called me on her break. She said he wasn't too bad, except that he mumbled during his tryout. She said he wasn't the worse, but no where near the top acts. We had a fairly long discussion about what to do and I also told her what Bob had said about the mean kids.  I thought maybe he should not do it and told her to tell him he needs more practice. I also told her to mention that maybe he should wait until next year. 


She went to see him during his study hall and he was not happy with anything she said to him. He was still insisting that he was going to perform. She emailed me back to tell me what happened and I promptly called my husband. We were going to discuss it with him at home. I thought SJ would be in a very bad mood at the end of the school day, but he was surprisingly happy. Problem solved?  Not even close.


When I talked to him about it that evening, he was still insisting that he was performing. He got visibly upset and said he worked really hard on it. My husband asked him to sing it for us, but he didn't want to. He reminded him that if he can't sing in front of us that it would be very difficult to sing in front of 300 students. He told him if he didn't practice he definitely wouldn't be performing in the Talent Show.  SJ then started to practice in his room. An hour later, my husband and I went to listen to his song. Surprisingly, it was a funny parody song. More surprisingly, he wasn't too bad (unless it was just my parenting ears). My husband was almost in tears listening to SJ. Now, what to do?


This morning, I again sent the teacher in charge an email. I told her that maybe he can do it if he practices each night. Bob is not going to like to hear this news. If he is still that upset about it, I will probably let him skip school that day. This is a hard time in both of their lives. That is why I feel that I am in a lose-lose situation. If I make Bob happy and not let him perform, then I may be crushing something in SJ. If I let SJ try to perform (whether the results are good or bad), Bob could potentially be teased and picked on. There is no easy choice here. I will just pray to the teenage gods that SJ will do well enough that the kids enjoy it and they are all kind (to him and Bob). I will be stressed about this until after next Friday. Parenting is hard.

after school speech session 12

Two Tuesdays ago, SJ had his speech therapy session. I started a new job, so my husband is now in charge of getting him to speech. The therapist told my husband that they first worked on "Changing the Topic". She explained to him how to change the topic of a conversation by linking it to the previous topic. For example:


Partner 1-So I grabbed the leash before Maxwell could run off again. (The topic is keeping his dog, Maxwell, from running away.)
Partner 2-Speaking of Maxwell, how do you like the dog training classes? (Both the old and new topics are about Maxwell.)


After she gave him the example, they read through nine scenarios. He had to decide if the second sentence made a logical connection between the old and new topics. Six of the nine scenarios made a logical connection, while the other three did not. She said he did well with this exercise.


Next, they worked on "Asking Questions". She told him some good reasons to ask questions during a conversation such as: to show that you are interested in what the other person is saying, to expand the conversation topic and to make sure you understood what the person said. She reminded him not to interrupt the speaker by asking a question and to save his question until the person was done speaking. She added that if he doesn't understand what the person is saying, he could use facial expressions to signal that he doesn't understand (tricky for a kid on the spectrum).


Then, she read him six scenarios that had a sentence with a question. He had to decide if the question showed interest, expanded the topic or was to understand. Sometimes the questions could be applicable for multiple reasons. For example:


"I just got the expansion pack for my favorite video game."
"What do you like best about video games?"


SJ thought the question was to expand the topic. He did fine with this activity.  The last thing they practiced during his session was conversational speech. (He can always use practice with this topic.) She also asked him about the Luau Dance and he told her that he had fun. 

after school reading tutoring sessions 14 & 15

At SJ's last two reading tutoring sessions, Mrs. Banks continued to read "Crispin" with SJ. During session 14, he was a little more focused than the previous week. He stayed in his chair and kept his eyes on the book for most of the session. She asked him comprehension questions during their session and he was able to answer with appropriate answers. She was pleased that he was getting the book. I apologized for not getting more chapters read in between sessions, but they were moving along quite quickly. I talked to her about his summer sessions.  He is going to move to Tuesday mornings, so he will have tutoring and speech on the same day (get all the things that he doesn't like out of the way in one day).


I started a new job, so my husband was in charge of being home for Mrs. Banks this week. He was rushing home, but Mrs. Banks got held up at the elementary school in a meeting. SJ only had a 30 minute session because of that fact. Although his session was short, Mrs. Banks told my husband that he had his best session yet. He was completely on task, was asking suitable questions about the chapters that they were reading and was able to explain what was happening. At one point, he was reading and he thought she was not paying attention. "Hey, I am reading over here," he said to her. She laughed and said, "So, now you know how I feel."


Later on, I received a text from her. She told me that when she came into our house he told her that she was late. He then sat down and started to read before she even opened her book. That is a text that you want to get from a teacher. I might have to give him a manners refresher, but at least he was reading.

luau dance

Two weeks ago, SJ had his last dance of the year at the Junior High. It was a Luau Dance, so they were encouraged to wear "tropical" or summer clothes. SJ wanted to wear a Hawaiian shirt (which he did not have), so we bought one at Kohl's after his last speech session. The night of the dance he paired his shirt with red jeans and his YOLO sunglasses (orange-of course).  He wasn't sure if he could wear his sneakers or have to wear dress loafers, so he waited until we picked up Topher to see what he was wearing. Topher had on sneakers, so SJ kept his on too.


I dropped off the boys at the Junior High and went to get Bob at soccer practice (Bob is not a dance kid-way too shy). Topher's dad was going to pick up the boys when it was over. I was hoping that he wasn't crying at the end of this dance.  They returned around 10:30. He wasn't crying, but he wasn't 100% happy. I asked him if he had fun and he replied with "a little".  I decided not to push that evening.


The next morning, I tried to get more information out of SJ. He said there were a lot of kids there, but he didn't dance with anyone. He wouldn't tell me if he asked anyone to dance (even after many questions from me). He said the music was loud, but better than the Snow Flake music. I asked him if he would go again next year at the new middle school and he replied with, "Sure, why wouldn't I?" Well, I guess that answered all of my questions.  Even though he is not dancing with girls and the most popular kid there, he still keeps trying and that is one of SJ's best qualities. I hope he keeps that quality all of his life.

after school speech 11

Two sessions ago, SJ had his weekly speech therapy session. It was the week before the Luau Dance, so I asked his therapist to give him some strategies for potential social situations. After SJ was finished, she told me that he did very well during the session. They worked on Cause and Effect for half of the session. She was extremely impressed with how well he did on the Cause and Effect exercises.


For the second half of their session, she went over scenarios that would (and did) happen at the dance. He told her that he had asked two girls to dance at the last dance, but they declined. Then, she proceeded to give him strategies if that situation presented itself again. For example: She told SJ that if the girl says "No thanks" he could still try to strike up a conversation with her about something else. She suggested he try to find something to compliment her on or something that they have in common, such as a class or activity. She also went over some body language cues that SJ could look for to see if the person he was speaking with was interested in their conversation. (SJ has a tendency to talk about subjects for long periods of time that are only interesting to him.)


She also gave him a homework paper that had some other social situations that he could practice before going to the dance. I went over a few of them with him hoping that this last dance would be his best dance. We'll see...

after school reading tutoring session 11, 12 and 13

Life has been getting the better of me.  Between looking for a new job, a husband who has been traveling, running Bob to the soccer fields 5x a week and keeping SJ on task, this blog has fallen down on the priority list.  So, today I am having a catch up day. 

SJ finished reading the "Bud, Not Buddy" book with me and had to do the accompanying book report.  He wanted to create a test, which was one of the many book report options he has to choose from.  Mrs. Banks allowed us to use her Schoology password, so that SJ could create the test.  He came up with 20 question that were either multiple choice, matching or essay.  He did a great job on the project.  In fact, his teacher, Mrs. Page, questioned that he actually came up with the content of the test on his own. Mrs. Banks assured her that he did.  He received an A on the report. Yeah!

The following week, Mrs. Banks had selected his final book for the remainder of his school year tutoring.  She choose a book called "Crispin The Cross of Lead".

                          

 

It is set in medieval times. It is about a 13 year old peasant boy who finds himself accused of a crime that he didn't commit.  He is left to run with nothing in his possession, but his mother's lead cross. While being pursued, he encounters a strange man who forces him to be his servant, but who also helps him to think for himself.

 

The first week that they began this book SJ was having a lot of trouble staying on task. He kept interrupting Mrs. Banks with his usual silliness and fidgeting. She had to keep reining him in to stay up with the text of the book. They read six chapters the first week. That was quite an accomplishment considering his state of mind during the session. 

 

The second week, Mrs. Banks said his attention span was much better. They again read six chapters.  I could hear him laughing on occasion.  Mrs. Banks thought this was odd, because "Crispin" was dealing with some awful situations. She had to remind him that he was in much distress.

 

Last week, they actually read seven chapters. SJ had a good session and he wasn't laughing during the reading session. She said he seems to be enjoying this novel. I think he may be enjoying it because he enjoyed the medieval section that he learned about in sixth grade.  We were to read a few more chapters during the week, but life got in the way.

 

sj turns 13!

Last Sunday, it was a few days before SJ's actual 13th birthday.  We had scheduled four boys to come over for his birthday party.  He invited Willie, Topher, Hal and Brennan. SJ had been complaining of a belly ache that morning and had a very slight fever.  I really wasn't sure what to do.  We were going to take all six boys (SJ and Bob were in the total) to SkyZone and I already had the tickets purchased.  SJ said he was feeling better shortly before his friends arrived at our house.  I piled four of the boys in my car and my husband took two. 

We were about 1/3 of the way to SkyZone when SJ said, "I am not feeling good, Mom."  Oh no, I thought.  I calmly asked the boys in the back seat to reach into the rear of my car and grab me a plastic grocery store bag.  I handed it to SJ and sure enough he threw up in the bag.  Great, now what was I going to do.  Hal said, "Did he just throw up?  I am going to be sick too."  I reassured him that he would be fine and told him to put his window down a crack. 

I called my husband and told him that SJ got sick.  We decided that we would have to turn around.  SJ was very upset about this, but I couldn't have him getting sick at a trampoline park.  "I'm fine, I'm fine now Mom," he said.  I told him we would reschedule and explained to the boys.  I called SkyZone and after speaking to a manager, I was able to reschedule for Wednesday (the day after SJ's actual birthday). 

I called all the boys' parents and told them what was going on.  I told them they could retrieve their boys early if they wanted, but I still wanted to sing to SJ, have them eat the cupcakes and open the cards. All the moms seemed fine with them staying, so I had them pick up at 6 instead of 7:30. 

SJ perked up when we got home. They were playing video games and went outside to play tag and soccer.  I ordered pizza while they were having fun hanging out.  We ate and sang to SJ (I just took one cupcake off the platter, so he wouldn't infect the others.)  He opened their cards and they were back outside.  Hal made a comment that made me smile.  He said, "I like how SJ is keeping positive to make himself feel better so he can have fun with us."  I was sure to tell his mom that he said that.

After all the boys were picked up, SJ started to feel poorly again.  He was back on the couch and his fever returned.  This virus lasted all the way through Wednesday afternoon. SJ missed school Monday through Wednesday and SJ was very sad on his "real' birthday. He kept telling me that "it was the worst birthday ever".  I am sure it felt that way to him.  My husband and I felt very bad for him.  He spent his birthday on the couch only perking up an hour after his medicine doses kicked in. 

As I said earlier, he was still not 100% on Wednesday, so we kept him home from school.  I had my dad come over to sit with him. While I was at work, I wasn't sure if I should cancel the rescheduled SkyZone day.  He looked much better when I returned home, so we didn't cancel.  My husband retrieved all the boys (except Willie and Bob due to soccer practice and Willie's sister Ami's birthday) and took them out to the trampoline park.  They had a great time.  There were very few people there, so they practically had the place to themselves. 

On the way home, my husband picked them up food at two different fast food spots (Subway and McDonalds) and returned the boys.  When SJ walked in the door, he looked exhausted.  I asked him if he was feeling bad again and he just smiled at me and said, "No, Mom.  That was awesome!" I was so glad that he was back to himself.  Happy Birthday to my newest teenager!

after school speech 9 and 10

Still playing catch up, so I am going to combine these two speech therapy posts into one.  At speech session 9, SJ was very upset on his way there and during the session.  Apparently, he realized that he would be having speech therapy on his birthday (which was over a month away at that point).  He complained for 10 of the 30 minutes of the session that he didn't want to come to speech on his birthday.  He told his therapist that "he just wanted a normal day" on his birthday.  She assured him that she would talk to me and then she got him back on task.  They worked on Fact and Opinion for the remaining session.  She said he was struggling some with the topic.  She gave him prompts and he did somewhat better when prompted.

When his session was done, she told me about the "birthday problem".  I told her I would let her know at the next session.  I asked her if he told her about the Snowflake Dance or our ski trip. She said he didn't, but she made a note to ask him about it at the next session. 

Last Tuesday was the next session.  I told him in the car that I was going to cancel the appointment that fell on his birthday.  That made him so happy, so I was hoping he would work much harder for his therapist.  I am happy to report that he did.  She told me that they again worked on Fact and Opinion.  She used the topics of the dance and the ski trip for the exercise.  She said he did much better than the last session.  Maybe having a topic he is familiar with made the exercise easier for him.  She also did some Idioms with him.  There are still many idioms that he is not familiar with, but once he knows them he tries to use them in his conversational speech.  He enjoys the fact that they are humorous.  She wished him a happy birthday and a nice Easter and told him she would see him in April. 

after school reading tutoring part 10

So we missed a few sessions to sickness (Mrs. Banks, not SJ) and many school delays. Two Mondays ago, SJ had a reading tutoring session with Mrs. Banks.  They continued to read Bud, Not Buddy by Christopher Paul Curtis.  They had started reading it at the last session and SJ and I had read a couple of chapters when Mrs. Banks cancelled. 

It is a book set in 1936.  It is about a ten-year-old boy whose mother has died and who lives in a foster home.  He doesn't know who his dad is, but he thinks he is famous bandleader.  He decides to run away from the Home and make the trek from Flint, Michigan to Grand Rapids. 

I thought the content of the book may have been too heavy for SJ, but he seems to be enjoying it.  When they are having their reading sessions, I can hear SJ's laughter through the basement door.  That is always a sound that I love to hear. 

Mrs. Banks said he has been doing very well during the sessions.  He has even been volunteering to read more than just a paragraph at a time.  Plus, he enjoys the fact that the book's chapters are fairly short (he gets overwhelmed by very long chapters). 

He is going to use this book as his 3rd nine weeks book report.  He has many different options for book reports. This nine weeks, he has selected making a test up from the book.  Mrs. Banks offered to help him with this project, but due to the cancellations that wasn't able to be started yet.  He still has nine chapters to read, so I am planning on reading a lot of them with him before Mrs. Banks is due at our house again. I always plan on this, but sometimes the week gets away from me.  I am going to have to make this a priority.  Wish me luck!

holiday valley 2014

My oh my, I am so behind on this blog.  Today is catch up day. Here goes...a few weeks ago, we made our annual trip to Ellicottville, NY  for a family/friend ski trip to Holiday Valley. We go with Topher, Willie and Meryl's families.  We left on a Friday shortly after the boys got  home from school.  Bob wasn't wanting to go (he hates skiing), but it is a family trip.  He was being very difficult getting in the car and at the gas station where we met our friends.  SJ opted to ride with Willie's family to avoid Bob's drama. 

We stopped in Clarion for dinner at Wendy's.  SJ ate inside with our friends while my husband and I were still dealing with Bob's anxious moment. After dinner, we continued the drive to Ellicottville. Once we got to the house, the kids explored the rental house and the adults could finally relax (and believe me, I needed to relax after Bob's behavior). 

The next day, we left for the slopes right after breakfast.  My husband and I decided to leave Bob at the house (he is 14 1/2) and the rest of us skied. We had a great time.  The slopes were a little crowded, but the snow was great.  SJ hung out with Topher and Willie most of the day. They like to do the terrain parks and the more advanced hills than I can handle.  We ate lunch at the lodge and then continued to ski until 5:00.  We returned to the house and tried to decide what we were going to do for dinner.  We wanted to eat at the Brewery again (it was great last year), but there was a huge wait.  Instead, we got ordered pizza and ate at the house.  SJ had a great time hanging out with Bob and the other boys. 

On Sunday, we again left for the slopes after breakfast.  The only difference was that we stopped at Subway for sandwiches and salads to eat for lunch at the lodge.  We skied until lunchtime.  It was much less crowded and the snow was much softer. On our way into the lodge for lunch, poor Ami got hurt in the trees.  She somehow hit a twiggy branch that made her ski come off the binding and hit her in the face.  Her parents had to take her to the ER for stitches, so we kept Willie with us.  Around 3:30, SJ and I were getting tired.  We made our way back to the lodge. Since we were the only ones there, I purchased two rollercoaster tickets for SJ and I .  It is a fun outdoor coaster that you can ride through the woods. We had a blast doing that.  Shortly after we finished on the coaster, the rest of our friends returned to the lodge.  We finished at a good time, since it had begun to rain.  Since we had so much pizza left over from Saturday, we decided to put Bob and Meryl (both in 8th grade) in charge and the adults went out for dinner and drinks.  Unfortunately, Ami's parents were stuck in the ER, so they couldn't go with us.  We missed them.

On Monday, Willie and Topher's families left for home right after breakfast.  My husband, Meryl's dad, Meryl and Goldie decided to do a morning session on the slopes.  It was very icy, so Meryl's mom and I passed.  SJ said he was too tired to ski a third day in a row.  When they finished, we packed up Meryl's car and drove back with her family (my husband and Meryl's dad stayed until Tuesday).  I thought SJ was going to complain about driving back with the girls, but he didn't utter a word about it. 

We stopped in the Allegheny Forest for lunch and then continued home.  SJ and the girls watched The Incredibles in the car.  That made the time go by fast for all the kids.  It was another great trip (minus Bob's meltdown) and I will look forward to going there again next year.